No joy in lire.

[Jafo]

I hate my life. I find nothing to be happy about anymore. I wake up and am sad that I didn't die in my sleep. I find myself not caring about anything anymore. My friends ignore me. I hate my job. I find myself giving away a lot of my possessions that I have collected over the years without any regret. I just don't care anymore. No one else seems to either.

 

[quintus 2]

Sounds not good, Jafo. But strangely close to how I feel and did lately. House is nearly empty by now. Getting rid of a burden, in a way.
You did not die in your sleep because it was not yet your time to go, I guess. As it was not yet mine. I think, there is still this "hope thing" that keeps us going, no? And why not? In one point I'm better off as you: I like my job, albeit I have to give it up soon. Can't you find something else to earn your life? I know, you don't care anymore. But since nothing seems to matter anymore it could be worth to try a new start, could it not?
Without regret, you write. That is a good thing. Why regret to have given things away. It is done and over and gives place to other "things". Not necessarily stuff. I don't like my life either and would like to have a new one. But a new one seems to be impossible to obtain. So even if it is a schlepp I just try to make an effort to do some rebuilding on the old one. Well, I try.
Can't you try the same? Some systematically rebuilding? Yes...I know, you don't care anymore. But you are here and you write and you express yourself. So you do still care a little bit. You want to be heard. And strangely enough: you are

 

[vixie]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know what it's like, I've been there many times myself.

To be honest, it sounds like classic depression. Have you tried to see a doctor about it?

Have you ever had any joys in life before, no matter how small? What were they?

 

[mickey]

It sounds like you're describing an unhealthy version of withdrawal. The unhealthy part has to do with feeling bad about withdrawing. But withdrawing doesn't have to be a negative experience. I've pretty much withdrawn and feel okay most of the time.

Satisfaction in life doesn't always lie in external things. Your job, your social contacts, your family and your material possessions don't necessarily make you happy. Happiness can come from within. That sounds like the place you should look for it.

 

[Stonely]

Buy a ticket to another state and start over.

 

[quintus 2]

Buy a ticket to another state and start over.

So easy: just buy a ticket....my o my...

 

[McDamned]

'Friends that ignore you' arent true friends, merely acquaintances. The reasons for this are relatively variable, perhaps it is you being to clingy, perhaps it is them being too self centered or too shallow. Its hard to see the truth behind such when life drags one down.

I used to wish I didnt wake up for about every night, for years and years, waking up dissapointed every single day. The suffering may pass, just as it did in my case, and not caring for possessions isnt necessarily related to depression, its a trait of character in lots of cases.

 

[Jafo]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know what it's like, I've been there many times myself.

To be honest, it sounds like classic depression. Have you tried to see a doctor about it?

Have you ever had any joys in life before, no matter how small? What were they?

Any joys in life I had were fleeting or a lie. I guess I'll never be happy.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Any joys in life I had were fleeting or a lie. I guess I'll never be happy.

With that attitude about it, you're likely right. Take what happy moments you've had and treasure them. Stop focusing on the bad parts of life and whatever happened in the past. Keep trying, because if you don't, you won't succeed.

 

[Tiina63]

I can identify with you and with how you are feeling. Life can be a painful, lonely and difficult business and the moments of happiness are often not enough to make us glad to be here. I feel like a hypocrite giving you advice when I generally feel as bad as you do, but I will offer it anyway and hope that you find something helpful from it.
Maybe you could concentrate on changing things slowly, a bit at a time. Looking for a new job might help you. Looking for some new friends and looking for some new interests as well might help.
I wish you luck in what you decide to do and hope that you find your way out of this dark place and into some light.

 

[Jafo]

I can identify with you and with how you are feeling. Life can be a painful, lonely and difficult business and the moments of happiness are often not enough to make us glad to be here. I feel like a hypocrite giving you advice when I generally feel as bad as you do, but I will offer it anyway and hope that you find something helpful from it.
Maybe you could concentrate on changing things slowly, a bit at a time. Looking for a new job might help you. Looking for some new friends and looking for some new interests as well might help.
I wish you luck in what you decide to do and hope that you find your way out of this dark place and into some light.

I am totally done with finding new friends. Every "friend" I've ever let into my life has just left me high and dry as soon as a woman has come into their life. No more, I'm done.

 

[vixie]

Any joys in life I had were fleeting or a lie. I guess I'll never be happy.

What were they, and what makes you conclude that they were a lie?

This is really common for people feeling this way. Things what were once enjoyable lose their appeal. The darkness of one's state of mind can color everything black.

That doesn't mean that you'll never have those joys back again though. To tell yourself that you'll never be happy is going to make that a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

[Tealeaf]

I can identify with you and with how you are feeling. Life can be a painful, lonely and difficult business and the moments of happiness are often not enough to make us glad to be here. I feel like a hypocrite giving you advice when I generally feel as bad as you do, but I will offer it anyway and hope that you find something helpful from it.
Maybe you could concentrate on changing things slowly, a bit at a time. Looking for a new job might help you. Looking for some new friends and looking for some new interests as well might help.
I wish you luck in what you decide to do and hope that you find your way out of this dark place and into some light.

I am totally done with finding new friends. Every "friend" I've ever let into my life has just left me high and dry as soon as a woman has come into their life. No more, I'm done.

Narrower selection criteria? Sometimes it seems impossible, but the pickier you are the better your eventual friend. My emotional life completely turned around in a matter of weeks when I started changing company. People don't even have to be "bad friends" on the outside, openly insulting or ignoring you, to subtly treat you as lesser than others, not worthy of respect, or temporary. If you accept them, though, you're letting their treatment of you seep into your head as what you're worth. Only very specific people should get the real thing.

In particular I always felt that I was secondary to extroverts, social butterflies, charismatic people, and groups. I never felt I could compete, and it built up a lot of resentment, unhappiness, and aggression when I got treatment validating those fears. Hard to enjoy anything when you feel like you have no value.