no love = lifeless

[pearl92]

I am 20 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. I do understand that there is more than life than girls, but having never experience teenage love, hitting my 20s and still single just makes me feel like I have missed a whole chunk of my life. I have felt the same way for over 4 years, and have blew every little opportunity that came my way. I have absolutely no social skills. I am an extremely late bloomer and severely socially delayed. I would love to just "get up and do something about it", but I can't even keep a simple conversation with a girl cause I am extremely shy, so inexperienced and I just fail to great extents and refuse to embarrass myself further.

I can't talk about this with anyone especially my friends because all they tell me is to man up, grow some balls, go get laid, etc. I ask them to help me out, hook me up with the very many girls they know and they're just like "you don't need any help, help yourself". Nobody ever understands the pain I feel. Everytime I see two people making out in public I must turn away immediately. Or like if someone posts on Facebook how much they love thier girlfriend. I just cannot bear the sight of the joy coming out of people having what I just can't get, and imagining in my mind what its like to love someone dearly and for her to love you back the same.

It is super, super rare for a girl to actually be interested in me. Girls that actually liked me in a lifetime is a number that could almost be counted on your fingers. And those were the ones who came to me. Most just weren't my type, or dated me for like 2 days and eventually ignored me and treated me like I ceased to exist. The ones I actually go to quickly lose interest and walk away.

I just don't get why I am so ignored. Instead, all the self centered pricks out there gets the most attention. But for someone to actually sit down and get to know a kind, generous, attractive, sweet, innocent and loving person? Nope. Not good enough I guess. I am seriously giving up hope in myself and I am really starting to believe that my existence is not meant to be with a woman. Looks like I am headed for one lonely, miserable life.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

But your freinds are correct...

You'll hear the same messages from women with sugar on top.
Love yourself first. Take care of yourself first. Stand on your two feet. Be self supporting...ect

Those self center pricks...are taking care of thier own bussiness. Living thier lives. Gotten rejected tons. Put themsleve
out there time and time again.

You recieved enough instructions and data. You simple have to put those instructions in ACTIONS.
Weeping about it, feeling sorry for youself gets you nowhere. Just a fucken rut, quicksand or a hole you'll dig for yourself
Lots for depression and this messed up malancoly bullshit you're experincing.

This pain you're feeling is actually telling you to get up off of your ass.
Even you yourself is telling you the samething.

If you take some pride in yourself and just do it...You'll feel better about yourself more than you think.

Ive been hurted, burned, used, abused, rejected, dejected...ect plenty of time in my life.
Ive also been loved and chased by women plenty too.
It comes out all in a fucken wash.
I cant take it too personal oneway or the other....

Wtf...dude
You dont think...
I can be sweet, kind, loving, thoughtful, compassionate, funnie, fun, ..ect..ect too?

Ive had friends help me out...but that's rare. Even if people give me moral support or cheer me on,
it is me....that has to do the foot work and take whatever necessary actions to get what I want.
Hell...Ive driven 1000s of miles for Sassy and went way way out of my way for her.
I did it for me too. Nothing short of willingness and plenty of actions.
For better or worst...I man up

I can easily say you dont how it feels for live through that or walked in my shoes.
Even if things didnt worked out between us and I wasnt just dating her her.
I put my life on the line for that woman.
It's the same fucken for me now, dude...
Weeping and self pity gets me nowhere.
At the end of the day or begining of the day. Life gose on and I have to make it happen.

Not trying to be a dick to you dude...
Fucken God made us MEN and whatever the fresia this crazy ass design of live Im suppost to live through call life.
Man the fresia up or we suffer.

Besides....you do know how awarkward it is it would be for a woman...if i was to ask her to go out with
one of my freinds???

1, She's gonna think...my friend isnt man enough to ask her out. She wants a man.
2, In the process of me asking her out for my friend and chit chating with her she'll probably rather have me.
3, She's gonna look at me crossed eyes..thinking "WTF *******, Im not good enough for you??"lol
4, She'll prabably tell me this..."You're a little man *****...arnt ya"

 

[Sci-Fi]

You know why you feel you are so ignored? Shyness, fear, all the things you mentioned in your first paragraph. People can pick up on that, they might interpret it in different ways. You know, the one thing I can tell you is that if you never fail you never learn. Sure it may hurt and discourage you but you just have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. You never succeed if you don't try and you never learn if you don't fail.

 

[Tiina63]

Maybe you should admit to a girl that you are shy? If a man said this to me, it would help me, as I would then know that his not talking much is from shyness and not because I am ugly and boring (though maybe I am both of these.) I would rather be with a man who is nervous and lacking in confidence, but who is gentle and thoughtful, than be with a man who is full of himself and who has slept with a different woman every week. Probably your friends are as insecure and as unsure of themselves as you inside, but dont want to admit it, so they put your fears down to hide their own fears from each other.
Being 20 and male must be so hard, as you are a mass of vulnerabilities which you would almost rather die than reveal.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Being 20 and male must be so hard, as you are a mass of vulnerabilities which you would almost rather die than reveal.

Thats the sugar coat version of saying...you're young, dumb, and full of cum.

 

[Ak5]

You can't bear to see other people happy. I had that as well. That's your main problem.

Why do you feel pain everytime you see couples? Because you're not confident in yourself. That is the problem. You feel pain because you want to experience that, yet think that you never will. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy; your confidence affects your mood, which affects, in turn, getting a girl.

You're 20, my God, I wish I was 20. You're at the prime age. Go out there and practice on your confidence levels and self-esteem. Work on that, and everything else will just fall into place.

 

[dannyr22]

I'm 23 this month & am almost the same as you OP

All I can really say is I hope things works out better for you soon

 

[Copacel]

am 24 1st girl that gives me her pussy/ass i will take it

 

[Poguesy]

Could always haves a gang bang?

 

[Ak5]

Could always haves a gang bang?

Sounds fun.

 

[pearl92]

yeah im not into the meaningless sex thing, at all. The only person I will ever have intimate encounter with will be my true love and no one else. I even set up an OK Cupid account. And my sister whos very articulate with her words, also from a female's perspective, helped me out with what to write on my page, got absolutely no replies. I message people quite simple and brief, no replies. I can't even make friends cause apparently I irritate peoples presence too much. And the only friends I have treat me like honeysuckle. Maybe if i had a pretty decent social life I wouldn't need such a huge desperation for love. I do nothing to no one and get such shitty respect from males and especially females. Its like a mystery that I just cannot solve about myself.

 

[Okonkwo]

You sound very feminine and emotional, and that's probably the reason why girls are rejecting you. Remember that shyness and inexperience are seen as defects in men. Just like having a missing limb or being blind. You might want to see a doctor about your shyness. Shyness is NOT a natural emotion in men and you might suffer from low testosterone or some other biochemical imbalance. If you can't shake your shyness, you'll likely spend a good portion of your life alone. I recommend you exercise regularly to increase your testosterone. That will help give you motivation to succeed.

You must embrace your masculinity. Girls favor the "self-centered pricks" you mention because they're MASCULINE. Think about it, would you want to date a woman who's closer to a man than a woman (I'm assuming you're not bi)? Of course not. Women feel the same way about dating a feminine man.

I am 20 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. I do understand that there is more than life than girls, but having never experience teenage love, hitting my 20s and still single just makes me feel like I have missed a whole chunk of my life. I have felt the same way for over 4 years, and have blew every little opportunity that came my way. I have absolutely no social skills. I am an extremely late bloomer and severely socially delayed. I would love to just "get up and do something about it", but I can't even keep a simple conversation with a girl cause I am extremely shy, so inexperienced and I just fail to great extents and refuse to embarrass myself further.

I can't talk about this with anyone especially my friends because all they tell me is to man up, grow some balls, go get laid, etc. I ask them to help me out, hook me up with the very many girls they know and they're just like "you don't need any help, help yourself". Nobody ever understands the pain I feel. Everytime I see two people making out in public I must turn away immediately. Or like if someone posts on Facebook how much they love thier girlfriend. I just cannot bear the sight of the joy coming out of people having what I just can't get, and imagining in my mind what its like to love someone dearly and for her to love you back the same.

It is super, super rare for a girl to actually be interested in me. Girls that actually liked me in a lifetime is a number that could almost be counted on your fingers. And those were the ones who came to me. Most just weren't my type, or dated me for like 2 days and eventually ignored me and treated me like I ceased to exist. The ones I actually go to quickly lose interest and walk away.

I just don't get why I am so ignored. Instead, all the self centered pricks out there gets the most attention. But for someone to actually sit down and get to know a kind, generous, attractive, sweet, innocent and loving person? Nope. Not good enough I guess. I am seriously giving up hope in myself and I am really starting to believe that my existence is not meant to be with a woman. Looks like I am headed for one lonely, miserable life.

 

[Okonkwo]

You sound very feminine and emotional, and that's probably the reason why girls are rejecting you. Remember that shyness and inexperience are seen as defects in men. Just like having a missing limb or being blind. You might want to see a doctor about your shyness. Shyness is NOT a natural emotion in men and you might suffer from low testosterone or some other biochemical imbalance. If you can't shake your shyness, you'll likely spend a good portion of your life alone. I recommend you exercise regularly to increase your testosterone. That will help give you motivation to succeed.

You must embrace your masculinity. Girls favor the "self-centered pricks" you mention because they're MASCULINE. Think about it, would you want to date a woman who's closer to a man than a woman (I'm assuming you're not bi)? Of course not. Women feel the same way about dating a feminine man.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Youre giving out negative vibes.

The girl that took my virginity at 18 also stole my hopes and dreams of her being my one and
only desire. What a fantacy world I was living in. At least I can look back at it and Im
pretty luckie. She was the person that asked me out. She Took me by the hands and showed
me a thing or two. I thought we were having meaningful love making with her getting off on me
5-6 times per day for an entire summer.She told me loved me. I really, really believed that.
She was a super model. The **** modeling agency always calling her all the time.
Fucken older guys with honeysuckle loads of money. As for Me???...
I was only an 18 year old kid with a pocket full of hopes and dreams.

Then her sister started hanging out with me to make me feel better.
I guess, I had to settle for the next best thing.
I thought she loved me too. After all it was her idea to want to elope with me.
Some crazy wild fantacy dream we were living in...
We were so young. So full of hopes and dreams.

[youtube]ghxJaEBix2E[/youtube]

 

[pearl92]

how could i possibly be giving out negative vibes when I am stating real facts? There is something about me that people don't like and i just don't know what it is. What am I supposed to do about that?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I know what you mean. I am 29, almost 30, and in your same position.

However, there is some truth to loving yourself, and taking care of yourself first. That's what I'm going to do - I need to take care of myself, and then maybe my 30's will be better than my 20's!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

When you saw people going out they were having a good time, feeling good.
When you sit and complain, you're feeling bad.

That would be the vibes you're sending out.

When you start hating the dudes having a good time with chicks..
Your seeing through your negative feelings. Generating more negative vibes.
Negative begets more negative.

The opposite of evny is gradtitude.

You can start changing your vibrations by changing you're feelings.
Make a gradtitude list of what you have already. Be appriciative to people,
places and things around...such as thanking your sister for helping you.
See the beauty that surrounds you...anything.

Such as if you see a beautiful women. Just be grateful she cross
you path. Be appriciative of her beauty ( kind of like looking at a flower).

Recall all the positive experince in your life. Feel those feelings
Make a list of all your accomplishment...no matter great or small.

Paint your mind with beautiful thoughts and feelings....
Taking care of yoreself first at the very core of your being.

Getting your mind out of the gutter isnt about lustful, dirty or nasty sexual stuff.
It's about getting you mind out of negative trash.

Eliminate negative phrases and words from your volcabury.
suxh as.....
" I can't"
"it wont happen"

Aviod negative people, places and things...

mmmm it's probably why people are avioding ya.....

 

[Okonkwo]

I am 20 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. I do understand that there is more than life than girls, but having never experience teenage love, hitting my 20s and still single just makes me feel like I have missed a whole chunk of my life. I have felt the same way for over 4 years, and have blew every little opportunity that came my way. I have absolutely no social skills. I am an extremely late bloomer and severely socially delayed. I would love to just "get up and do something about it", but I can't even keep a simple conversation with a girl cause I am extremely shy, so inexperienced and I just fail to great extents and refuse to embarrass myself further.

I can't talk about this with anyone especially my friends because all they tell me is to man up, grow some balls, go get laid, etc. I ask them to help me out, hook me up with the very many girls they know and they're just like "you don't need any help, help yourself". Nobody ever understands the pain I feel. Everytime I see two people making out in public I must turn away immediately. Or like if someone posts on Facebook how much they love thier girlfriend. I just cannot bear the sight of the joy coming out of people having what I just can't get, and imagining in my mind what its like to love someone dearly and for her to love you back the same.

It is super, super rare for a girl to actually be interested in me. Girls that actually liked me in a lifetime is a number that could almost be counted on your fingers. And those were the ones who came to me. Most just weren't my type, or dated me for like 2 days and eventually ignored me and treated me like I ceased to exist. The ones I actually go to quickly lose interest and walk away.

I just don't get why I am so ignored. Instead, all the self centered pricks out there gets the most attention. But for someone to actually sit down and get to know a kind, generous, attractive, sweet, innocent and loving person? Nope. Not good enough I guess. I am seriously giving up hope in myself and I am really starting to believe that my existence is not meant to be with a woman. Looks like I am headed for one lonely, miserable life.

You sound very feminine and emotional, and this is probably why women are rejecting you. Remember that shyness and inexperience in men are seen as defects by women. Just like being blind or having a missing finger. Your top priority should be to conquer your shyness. Shyness in men is NOT a natural trait and you may want to see a doctor to check if you have any chemical imbalances like low testosterone. Other than that you'll be on your own, and the only way to conquer it is to get out there. Maybe try exercising regularly because that tends to make men more confident.

The "self-centered pricks" are getting more attention than you because they're masculine. Think about it, would you date a woman who was closer to a man than a woman? Unless you're bi, probably not. Women feel the same way about dating feminine men.

 

[SophiaGrace]

How about you just be confident and be yourself?

 

[Thomas]]

Okonkwo I disagree with one of the things you wrote.

I think shyness in men is pretty common, especially in the closed world we live in today I don't think you can say it's not a natural trait. It simply isn't a stereotypical trait. If it wasn't a natural trait, so many guys in this world wouldn't have shyness would they . I don't think we should start saying that Pearl could have chemical imbalances . This guy simply thinks a lot about things. And based on the things he's been through, it's pretty understandable that he's feeling heavy emotion ...

I don't think being shy makes you feminine. Girls, please feel free to inform me otherwise!

Pearl; you sound very similar to me. What you say, to me, makes perfect sense. I've been there... I very much am there for the most part in fact! : ). But there are 2 points that I'd like to advise you on.

Firstly, I think you have to like yourself and believe in yourself! I think you're right about what you say. And you know that you're the one who's right and those treating you unfairly are wrong. You're smarter than they are, friend! : ) Don't let hard experiences make you think you're not good enough or you're doing things wrong... You are who you are, and you couldn't ask for anything better : ) So believe in yourself!

Secondly, kind of moving on from point 1, try to keep positive : ). I promise you that you're not the only person in this boat. You're part of a big ship ;D. You're not doomed to a lonely miserable life. You're still so young and got the prime of life yet to live! And I'd bet money that you're going to get that break you want. Just keep trying. And I know you think that stuff's probably easy to say, but i think both these things will be important for you.

What I've typed here lacks a bit of structure and isn't exactly how I wanted to put things =x. But it's 4am and very late so I must head to bed! Be happy Pearl! : )