NO

[Todd]

Do you find it so hard to say "no" that you regularly do favors you do not want to do? If so, why?

I would have to say that I used to feel that I couldn't say "no" because I wanted my friends to like me. I didn't want them to reject me if I said "no" to their request. It's kind of touch and go but I'm able to say "no" sometimes without feeling bad or guilty.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

For me most of the time I cant say "NO" becuase of guilt and the person I'm dealng with.
All that stuff about codependency or enabling.

I can easily say "no" to someone that I have no close emotional ties with.
For the most part I can easily make rational decisions with people across the board.
Im the type of person that's not always going to jump off the fucken brigde just becuase
everyone else dose...due to social or peer pressure.
Poeple do that damness things other wise they wouldnt do if they're not in a mass social setting.
A riot is an example of this....it spreads and increases momentum.
The moral and vaules code also dose the samething. It plays on our needs of belonging.
No matter how unhealthy people do stupid honeysuckle becuase of this sense of belonging that's
built into all of us as humans.

Love earning or praise seeking are other behaviors that play on this same need to be accepted.
Love stravetions will be used against you if you're not careful.

A manipulator will tug on your sense of belonging and use guilt to manipulate you.

When dealing with family members that suffers from addictions or other illness.
It's really hard to say no...becuase you're emotions are being tugged.
Your security of being loved is at risk, Lots of guilt, lots of blameshifting, lots of manipulations.
If you live with it for years or been around it...The dramma and mental break down.
Your self esteem gets chip away little by little.
It's very tire some. If a person is not well rested..its easier to just say...OK, do whatever
Heres the money or whatever....I just need to rest.

Have you obverserd that the times that you're able to say more often...its becuase
you simple just had a good night sleep or well rested? You're just more mentally alert.

 

[LoneKiller]

It's a very good quality that you possess. It's always nice to help out people, especially friends, but don't ever feel that you have to do anything they ask you in efforts to keep them as friends. If you have to change yourself just to accommodate them, and rid yourself of guilt, then that is a bad scene man.

You be who you are. If they don't like it, fresia 'em. If you want to do them favors to alleviate your guilt that you shouldn't have to begin with, you are cheating yourself.

Accept and love who you are. You just might realize just how good of a person you can be without any guilt at all.

Godspeed.
LoneKiller

 

[Callie]

I have no problem saying no if I don't wanna do something. However, if it's REALLY important to them or whatever, I'll tell them to see if they can find anyone else to do it and if not, THEN I will.

That may make me a *****, but well, I don't care.

 

[Bread]

I guess I'm a bit of a sycophant, as much as I hate to admit it. I want people to like me, so I do shitty jobs in hopes it will curry me some favour. Generally been getting better at just saying 'no' in the past few years, since I've come to understand that nobody gives a ****, and neither should I.

 

[nerdygirl]

Like Callie, I have no problem saying, "No" until it's something very important and there's nobody else to do it. Luckily, I have very few people around me these days, so I rarely have that problem anymore.

 

[Drama]

I dont say no.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I dont say no.

Must resist urge to make naughty joke...must resist Satan, make it up to him later.

jk

Sometimes, it depends on who and what it is. Helping people is always nice to do and makes you feel good that you helped a person out.

 

[Drama]

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You made me smile!!!!

 

[Ak5]

It's a very good quality that you possess. It's always nice to help out people, especially friends, but don't ever feel that you have to do anything they ask you in efforts to keep them as friends. If you have to change yourself just to accommodate them, and rid yourself of guilt, then that is a bad scene man.

You be who you are. If they don't like it, fresia 'em. If you want to do them favors to alleviate your guilt that you shouldn't have to begin with, you are cheating yourself.

Accept and love who you are. You just might realize just how good of a person you can be without any guilt at all.

Godspeed.
LoneKiller

This!

Well said.

 

[Todd]

For me most of the time I cant say "NO" becuase of guilt and the person I'm dealng with.
All that stuff about codependency or enabling.

I can easily say "no" to someone that I have no close emotional ties with.
For the most part I can easily make rational decisions with people across the board.
Im the type of person that's not always going to jump off the fucken brigde just becuase
everyone else dose...due to social or peer pressure.
Poeple do that damness things other wise they wouldnt do if they're not in a mass social setting.
A riot is an example of this....it spreads and increases momentum.
The moral and vaules code also dose the samething. It plays on our needs of belonging.
No matter how unhealthy people do stupid honeysuckle becuase of this sense of belonging that's
built into all of us as humans.

Love earning or praise seeking are other behaviors that play on this same need to be accepted.
Love stravetions will be used against you if you're not careful.

A manipulator will tug on your sense of belonging and use guilt to manipulate you.

When dealing with family members that suffers from addictions or other illness.
It's really hard to say no...becuase you're emotions are being tugged.
Your security of being loved is at risk, Lots of guilt, lots of blameshifting, lots of manipulations.
If you live with it for years or been around it...The dramma and mental break down.
Your self esteem gets chip away little by little.
It's very tire some. If a person is not well rested..its easier to just say...OK, do whatever
Heres the money or whatever....I just need to rest.

Have you obverserd that the times that you're able to say more often...its becuase
you simple just had a good night sleep or well rested? You're just more mentally alert.

Wow, so so true. Especially when dealing with family members. Your emotions are tied with your family members and they know how to manipulate you to get you to go along with the program. Although true, the cool thing is is that when you gain your self esteem and confidence and they no longer can manipulate you, they will back down for the most part. Rejection did play a big part for me not being able to say "no" but once I gained some courage to say "no" it was such a freeing experience.

---

It's a very good quality that you possess. It's always nice to help out people, especially friends, but don't ever feel that you have to do anything they ask you in efforts to keep them as friends. If you have to change yourself just to accommodate them, and rid yourself of guilt, then that is a bad scene man.

You be who you are. If they don't like it, fresia 'em. If you want to do them favors to alleviate your guilt that you shouldn't have to begin with, you are cheating yourself.

Accept and love who you are. You just might realize just how good of a person you can be without any guilt at all.

Godspeed.
LoneKiller

It's so funny that you said that because I had a teacher tell me the exact same thing and what she said stuck with me and helped me to progress through life.

 

[annik]

I very rarely get asked to do favours so I really like it when someone asks and if I can do it I say yes. I like feeling needed by people because I never really do.
The one time my ex called after having a bad day because he wanted to vent at me I put the phone down and cried because it really touched me.
I try and do nice things for people generally.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

I have no one to do favours for but my parents, and that is mandatory. Although, I wouldn't mind helping a friend from time to time if the chance arose.