NOBODY is laughing/smiling at your ugliness.

[Fennec Foxes]

OK, I keep hearing people jumping to conclusions when strangers smile at them. They worry that they're smiling at them because they think they're ugly.

Let me make it clear that this is merely your own horror fantasy. Now, I can only speak for most adults, but I've never heard of any normal, functioning adult actually smiling or laughing at someone because they were ugly. EVER.

Now, if someone's dressed really strangely, yes. Because that's something the person can help, and the attitude's sort of like, "WTF possessed that guy to wear a scuba diving mask in public?". But nobody I've known over 20 has EVER looked at an unattractive person and smirked or laughed out of cruelty.

People see ugliness as the same level as a disability. It's not something people could help, and it's certainly NOT socially acceptable for adults to laugh at others for unfortunate looks (not to their faces).

So remove that fear out your minds. If anything, you're probably being flirted with.

Blah. Had to get that out there, because people worry about that WAY too much.

 

[Minus]

Then revel in your lame and lonely lives, because I'm so out of here.

That was quick.

 

[EveWasFramed]

lmao, Minus!!!

 

[VanillaCreme]

Looks only matter to shallow people who don't know what else to look for in a person other than that.

 

[SofiasMami]

Where are all the weirdos coming from - is there a full moon this week or something?
Kudos to the mods for being on top of things here

Teresa

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^Fall madness, I tell ya.

 

[alonewanderer]

Where are all the weirdos coming from - is there a full moon this week or something?
Kudos to the mods for being on top of things here

Teresa

Actually yes, this weekend had a full moon the entire time.

 

[tehdreamer]

Despite the banningness, the original post in absolutely true. No one really laughs at anyone for being ugly and most people don't go around smiling at someone they find repulsive, so people need to quit thinking that.

 

[dead]

Then revel in your lame and lonely lives, because I'm so out of here.

That was quick.

+1
lol.

 

[Badjedidude]

EVERYBODY is laughing at the spammer for being banned.

 

[tehdreamer]

I don't think people should discard good advice, even if it came from a unwelcomed source. There is a constant theme of people thinking someone is only smiling at them because they're ugly or funny looking. But, oh well, I guess they can keep thinking that. Sad.

 

[futurecatlady]

I'm with tehdreamer on this one. I think we were a little trigger-happy with this poster. She would probably have left on her own, seeing as there's not much here for her anyway. It seems like she is young and a little naive, so what might have originated as good intentions came out sounding offensive, especially in an environment where the audience is generally older and from a different background than what she is used to interacting with.

And I do feel myself bristle with embarrassment when I hear a snicker behind me, or if I catch someone throwing me (what I perceive to be) a sneer. I always assume that it's because I'm ugly, even though as the OP said, that doesn't make much rational sense.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I agree with Dreamer, but it's easy said than done to have self-esteem or to have the confidence that you look fine. If it were that easy, then we wouldn't have that problem at all.

 

[Minus]

... I think we were a little trigger-happy with this poster. ... so what might have originated as good intentions came out sounding offensive....

It wasn't anything that she was saying at the start that caused a reaction. It was the $17.95 (marked down from $45.95) price tag on her product that she was displaying, that started things off rocky.

 

[tehdreamer]

I agree with Dreamer, but it's easy said than done to have self-esteem or to have the confidence that you look fine. If it were that easy, then we wouldn't have that problem at all.

It's not easy to over-come negative feelings about yourself. But if no one keeps pointing out how wrong it is to have those negative feelings about yourself, nothing will ever change.

Self-esteem gets boosted when others tell you that you don't suck, you're not ugly, and you're a good person. It helps when someone tells you that your fears of judgment aren't true. I think self-esteem is 2/3rds what others perceive of you.

 

[mrmosaic]

So true when you only hear the negative it's hard to feel good about yourself or exhibit solid self confidence. People can say all they want that looks don't matter yada yada but they do. That's just reality.

As crazy as it sounds I've always wanted to do a anonymous survey of my looks to see what people who have no connection to me would say. Kind of for the reasons tehdreamer mentioned.

 

[TheQuietman]

None of this applies to fat people of course. People DO laugh, make fun, discriminate, hate, often with approval of those who are in authority or respected.

The only solution for them is to lose weight and be like other people. The crap about accepting who you are and others accepting your differences, doesn't apply to fat people. The propaganda is too strong, the hate too entrenched.

The fact that it can be extremely difficult for many to lose weight doesn't matter, you're weak, pathetic, worse than a sex offender, if you don't strive to be "normal". If you can't lose weight or have accepted yourself and don't want to, then accept your life will never be peaceful, other people won't leave you in peace or treat you as anything other than scum.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I agree with Dreamer, but it's easy said than done to have self-esteem or to have the confidence that you look fine. If it were that easy, then we wouldn't have that problem at all.

It's not easy to over-come negative feelings about yourself. But if no one keeps pointing out how wrong it is to have those negative feelings about yourself, nothing will ever change.

Self-esteem gets boosted when others tell you that you don't suck, you're not ugly, and you're a good person. It helps when someone tells you that your fears of judgment aren't true. I think self-esteem is 2/3rds what others perceive of you.

It's only wrong if the person thinks it's wrong. And usually if they think it to be true, it's not wrong to them.

 

[Minus]

...Let me make it clear that this is merely your own horror fantasy....

The Imaginary Audience

"Elkind ... suggest that one consequence of this egocentrism is that, in actual or impending social situations, the young person anticipates the reactions of other people to himself or herself. However, as these anticipations are based on the premise that others are as admiring or as critical of the young person as they are themselves, the adolescent is continually constructing, or reacting to, an imaginary audience: "It is an audience because the young person believes that he or she will be the focus of attention; and it is imaginary because, in actual social situations, this is not usually the case. (Elkind, 1967, p. 1031). The crux of Elkind's (1985) argument about the imaginary audience is that it is imaginary, not real. Where the young adolescent has difficulty is in recognizing the subjectivity of his or her own mental constructions. The imaginary audience is seen as a mental construction and not a social reality."

 

[suckaG]

a smile or a laugh can mean different things in different circumstances. Sometimes its just easier to recognize when someone is being a fake or rude p.o.s. than being genuinely cordial.