Hi guys,
I feel a bit lame 'bout posting here... Don't know why, I may just be hitting reality once again
First of all, I turned 18 a month ago. I'm in my senior year of highschool (well, it's French equivalent), and hoping firmly to get out of here in June.
I kinda fit this place in a perfect way... I do suffer from loneliness, from lack of relationships (let's say lovelife), social troubles, pretty low self esteem and misc issues. You got it, I'm not really what you'd call a "social butterfly".
I've been a paternal orphan for pretty much 10 years. I lost the only friend I had back in middle school the same way and the others are actually abroad as of now (Aussie, UK, USA, Germany).
I'm kind of a (light) cripple. My right ankle is messed up, causing my right knee to compensate for it and making me in pain... I'm insomniac, and school phobic too, for that matters.
I've been a musician for ten years. I play both the guitar (acoustic and electric) and the bass, I sing too. I'm also a part time sound engineer. I play in a band with some 40yo, but they are apparently busy enough without me... Having a wife, a family, a job and so on...
I read a lot and follow a certain amount of series.
I'm interested in various topics like economy, sociology, litterature, poetry and listen to various style of music like blues, modern blues, classic rock, progressive rock, emo, glam rock, acoustic stuff etc...
I never got why, but the really few people I seem to befriend turns out to move abroad, to die, or to fake interest in me to get a discount on the job I might be doing for them (love the liberal world, whatever it takes to decrease costs... ). The worst has always been in school, I've been bullied a lot 'till 2 years ago I guess. I've never got why, never did anything wrong to the other kids, or being mean or whatever. I was kind of an outcast I guess... despite being a 6 year old when it started.
To these day, the only people I happen to talk to are my mother, my bandmates (like 8 hours a month, rehearsal time only) and the few clients and guys I teach. That's it. No friends, nor girlfriend or boyfriend... I've had a boyfriend a few years back from now... We remained together for allmost 2 years, before he moved to germany.
I dated a girl from school last year, she was nice to me, attractive and everything but turned out to be a total jerk, doing this to make fun of me with other people from school... It hurts... So my experience in love is pretty close to zero... I've been lonely nor have had sex for the past 3 years.
I really don't know what I was hoping for when I signed in here...
Hope I'll fit in for a change and that you'll not have a hard time reading my poor english.
PS : you may ask why I've chosen not to use my mother tongue and why I've decided on an english forum. It's obviously because it makes me feel in secure... More stealth or something.
I feel a bit lame 'bout posting here... Don't know why, I may just be hitting reality once again
First of all, I turned 18 a month ago. I'm in my senior year of highschool (well, it's French equivalent), and hoping firmly to get out of here in June.
I kinda fit this place in a perfect way... I do suffer from loneliness, from lack of relationships (let's say lovelife), social troubles, pretty low self esteem and misc issues. You got it, I'm not really what you'd call a "social butterfly".
I've been a paternal orphan for pretty much 10 years. I lost the only friend I had back in middle school the same way and the others are actually abroad as of now (Aussie, UK, USA, Germany).
I'm kind of a (light) cripple. My right ankle is messed up, causing my right knee to compensate for it and making me in pain... I'm insomniac, and school phobic too, for that matters.
I've been a musician for ten years. I play both the guitar (acoustic and electric) and the bass, I sing too. I'm also a part time sound engineer. I play in a band with some 40yo, but they are apparently busy enough without me... Having a wife, a family, a job and so on...
I read a lot and follow a certain amount of series.
I'm interested in various topics like economy, sociology, litterature, poetry and listen to various style of music like blues, modern blues, classic rock, progressive rock, emo, glam rock, acoustic stuff etc...
I never got why, but the really few people I seem to befriend turns out to move abroad, to die, or to fake interest in me to get a discount on the job I might be doing for them (love the liberal world, whatever it takes to decrease costs...
). The worst has always been in school, I've been bullied a lot 'till 2 years ago I guess. I've never got why, never did anything wrong to the other kids, or being mean or whatever. I was kind of an outcast I guess... despite being a 6 year old when it started. To these day, the only people I happen to talk to are my mother, my bandmates (like 8 hours a month, rehearsal time only) and the few clients and guys I teach. That's it. No friends, nor girlfriend or boyfriend... I've had a boyfriend a few years back from now... We remained together for allmost 2 years, before he moved to germany.
I dated a girl from school last year, she was nice to me, attractive and everything but turned out to be a total jerk, doing this to make fun of me with other people from school... It hurts... So my experience in love is pretty close to zero... I've been lonely nor have had sex for the past 3 years.
I really don't know what I was hoping for when I signed in here...
Hope I'll fit in for a change and that you'll not have a hard time reading my poor english.
PS : you may ask why I've chosen not to use my mother tongue and why I've decided on an english forum. It's obviously because it makes me feel in secure... More stealth or something.
