Alonewith2cats
Well-known member
Ok, this is a rant. I don't want to offend anyone because I know there are genuinely nice guys in the world.
This is another reason why I have fears about on-line dating. I just got a text message from one of these dates who I went out with three times, didn't feel any attraction and cut it off. I'm going to repeat the whole texting conversation:
Him: Hi there
Me: I don't recognize this #. Who is this?
Him: His name.
Me: Hi, how are you?
Him: Fine and u?
Me: Good
Him: What's new?
Me: Not much Been busy with work, friends, and family. What's new with you?
Him: Well I have no family here and I work ficking long hours. Other than that I seem to have no life. So yeah it ******* sucks. How is your dating life? Any new guys?
Me: I go out occasionally.
Him: Cool. Yeah, I am so done with going out on dates. I spend money, time and then they say they just want to be friends. No one wants to fresia me. I am so done with that. It's not worth it. Can't believe meeting a woman can be so complicated. Sick society.
Me: Ok. Well these things can't be forced. They either feel it or they don't. Sex is not a trade for money and time spent. Dates are for getting to know people. If it happens great, if it doesn't well, you simply got to interact with another human being. Not necessarily a waste of time.
Him: I know u r right but I really feel it's a waste of time both for her and me. And I know it can't be forced. But I feel being nice is a bad thing. Women lose attraction for nice guys. They like to be treated bad. They won't say it and it's paradoxical. The whole thing is convoluted and it's a game that needs to be played.
Me: Because you are sexually frustrated I guess. I don't feel that way (about it being a waste). I find human beings fascinating.
Him: Well as a woman it's easy for u. As a guy I have to spend money and I have to sacrifice a lot to earn that money. So if it is just talking then simple coffee is enough. but to take someone out to dinner and all. It's a lot and if nothing happens after that it's really a waste. I think it's a lot harder for guys. And I am absolutely frustrated. I am hitting a wall.
Me: But you being upset because women don't want to fresia you is exactly what scares me and other women from on-line dating. There are too many like this. Women don't seek out jerks. They go for what they are attracted to. By the way there is a term called "nice guy syndrome." If you are putting kindness coins in order to get something, in order to get sex, you're actually not nice. Sex can only happen naturally between 2 people who really want it. There is no other way. I hope you feel better. Take care.
Him: Yea, it's easy for u to judge. I was simply expressing my frustration to u. Didn't know u were judging me. Bye. Take care too. U r a nice girl.
Me: Sorry.
WTF! I haven't heard from him in months. I deleted him from my phone with the understanding that he didn't join OK Cupid to make friends and I respected that since I didn't feel attracted to him after giving it a 3 date chance. I never asked him to buy me chinese food. He did that all on his own, I never take advantage of men that way. They want to treat and I say thank you. And now he texts me to complain about not getting laid after investing so much time and money on dating women! Was I mean to him? I just felt like telling it like it is.
P.S. What really pisses me off tonight is this. It's late. I have to work tomorrow morning and if he didn't text me to complain about his bad luck I wouldn't have stayed up late communicating with him by text and then getting the urge to rant about it on here. So I'm not going to get much sleep tonight and tomorrow is Monday, the most dreaded day of the week. I'm going to ignore his texts in the future. Only friends are allowed to call or text me with their problems and even then I can't sacrifice too much sleep if I have to work the next day. Last time I checked I never got my therapist license. Never pursued that as a career.
Well, good night.
This is another reason why I have fears about on-line dating. I just got a text message from one of these dates who I went out with three times, didn't feel any attraction and cut it off. I'm going to repeat the whole texting conversation:
Him: Hi there
Me: I don't recognize this #. Who is this?
Him: His name.
Me: Hi, how are you?
Him: Fine and u?
Me: Good
Him: What's new?
Me: Not much Been busy with work, friends, and family. What's new with you?
Him: Well I have no family here and I work ficking long hours. Other than that I seem to have no life. So yeah it ******* sucks. How is your dating life? Any new guys?
Me: I go out occasionally.
Him: Cool. Yeah, I am so done with going out on dates. I spend money, time and then they say they just want to be friends. No one wants to fresia me. I am so done with that. It's not worth it. Can't believe meeting a woman can be so complicated. Sick society.
Me: Ok. Well these things can't be forced. They either feel it or they don't. Sex is not a trade for money and time spent. Dates are for getting to know people. If it happens great, if it doesn't well, you simply got to interact with another human being. Not necessarily a waste of time.
Him: I know u r right but I really feel it's a waste of time both for her and me. And I know it can't be forced. But I feel being nice is a bad thing. Women lose attraction for nice guys. They like to be treated bad. They won't say it and it's paradoxical. The whole thing is convoluted and it's a game that needs to be played.
Me: Because you are sexually frustrated I guess. I don't feel that way (about it being a waste). I find human beings fascinating.
Him: Well as a woman it's easy for u. As a guy I have to spend money and I have to sacrifice a lot to earn that money. So if it is just talking then simple coffee is enough. but to take someone out to dinner and all. It's a lot and if nothing happens after that it's really a waste. I think it's a lot harder for guys. And I am absolutely frustrated. I am hitting a wall.
Me: But you being upset because women don't want to fresia you is exactly what scares me and other women from on-line dating. There are too many like this. Women don't seek out jerks. They go for what they are attracted to. By the way there is a term called "nice guy syndrome." If you are putting kindness coins in order to get something, in order to get sex, you're actually not nice. Sex can only happen naturally between 2 people who really want it. There is no other way. I hope you feel better. Take care.
Him: Yea, it's easy for u to judge. I was simply expressing my frustration to u. Didn't know u were judging me. Bye. Take care too. U r a nice girl.
Me: Sorry.
WTF! I haven't heard from him in months. I deleted him from my phone with the understanding that he didn't join OK Cupid to make friends and I respected that since I didn't feel attracted to him after giving it a 3 date chance. I never asked him to buy me chinese food. He did that all on his own, I never take advantage of men that way. They want to treat and I say thank you. And now he texts me to complain about not getting laid after investing so much time and money on dating women! Was I mean to him? I just felt like telling it like it is.
P.S. What really pisses me off tonight is this. It's late. I have to work tomorrow morning and if he didn't text me to complain about his bad luck I wouldn't have stayed up late communicating with him by text and then getting the urge to rant about it on here. So I'm not going to get much sleep tonight and tomorrow is Monday, the most dreaded day of the week. I'm going to ignore his texts in the future. Only friends are allowed to call or text me with their problems and even then I can't sacrifice too much sleep if I have to work the next day. Last time I checked I never got my therapist license. Never pursued that as a career.
Well, good night.