Online Dating?

[DarkSelene]

Bitterness never comes before rejection. Remember that. Bitterness never comes first.

No one has to become bitter. Remember that. It's a choice.

Are you serious? Like, really... Do you actually believe that someone becomes bitter because they want to? Like... Really, though...

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

Are you serious? Like, really... Do you actually believe that someone becomes bitter because they want to? Like... Really, though...

I think that, if left long enough, the bitterness can become somewhat of a crutch. Believe me, I know. I've been bitter for so long that I don't know how to be anything else. And so letting go of that at my stage in life is a very terrifying prospect. That being said, no. I don't believe for a second anyone actively chooses to be bitter. They become that way through dissapointment, for whatever reason. Anyone that believes that honeysuckle can just be switched off like a light switch has a serious lack of empathy for their fellow human.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Are you serious? Like, really... Do you actually believe that someone becomes bitter because they want to? Like... Really, though...

I think that, if left long enough, the bitterness can become somewhat of a crutch. Believe me, I know. I've been bitter for so long that I don't know how to be anything else. And so letting go of that at my stage in life is a very terrifying prospect. That being said, no. I don't believe for a second anyone actively chooses to be bitter. They become that way through dissapointment, for whatever reason. Anyone that believes that honeysuckle can just be switched off like a light switch has a serious lack of empathy for their fellow human.

Who said it can be switched off that easily?  WHY do you (generalized you) always jump to "oh they said that, they think it's easy, they're ******* morons"?  NO ONE said it was easy.  NO ONE said anything was easy.  It's not.  But it is a choice.  You can always choose how you let your emotions take hold of you.  You don't have to be bitter, you could remain at least a little bit positive or if that's too far for you, just not negative. 
It's on YOU how your life turns out.  It's on YOU if you let bad honeysuckle stop you or hold you down/back.  Sure, wallow it in for a while, if you feel you must, but let it the fresia go and move on from it.  Stop letting life hold you back just because you didn't get what you wanted.  You will NEVER get what you want if you let yourself become and stay bitter and negative.  I don't care who wants to dispute this or call me ignorant or even a dumbfuck, people CAN see that honeysuckle, it turns people off. 
So yes, it is a choice, everything is a choice.  Not all choices are good, not all choices want to be made, not all choices are going to make your life better. 
If you are mugged, it's your choice to be scared and paranoid or not.  You could take self defense classes and learn how to protect yourself, you can go to therapy or whatever to get over the paranoia or fear. 
If you are rejected (even if it's a million times), it's your CHOICE to let that make you bitter.  You could simply accept that maybe you're asking the wrong people out or maybe your standards are too high or maybe your coming off in a way you don't mean to. You could regroup, find out what you're doing wrong and keep trying.

Almost everything in life is a choice, even if it doesn't seem like a choice at all.

 

[Xpendable]

Can you choose to concede?

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

Can you choose to concede?

Like Callie said: Everything in life is a choice, even if it doesn't seem like a choice. You certainly could choose to concede, but your choices have consequences, and in turn lead to new choices. Case in point here, you could chose to concede in silence, or swiftly be told to harden the fresia up whenever you post on here.

 

[Xpendable]

Swiftly? That would require some skill. I would be careful with what free will can mean to us, you should know our choices are pre-deternined. In other words, maybe you could concede to accept we don't control anything.

 

[user 139760]

Swiftly? That would require some skill. I would be careful with what free will can mean to us, you should know our choices are pre-deternined. In other words, maybe you could concede to accept we don't control anything.

Earlier on the thread, you said "Stop generalizing men, start conceiding more". If free will is an illusion, that advice is irrelevant; a person's choices, actions and thoughts are pre-determined, henceforth telling someone to change their minds is a waste of time.
In that same vein, asking someone to concede that we don't control anything, and that person does in fact admit to it when he does not believe, is in itself an exercise in free will.

Isn't it?
If we control nothing, why ask someone to change something? IN the end it will or will not change irregardless of our opinions, no?

Just playing devil's advocate. I personally believe that particular phylosophical question's answer lies somewhere in the middle.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Bitterness never comes before rejection. Remember that. Bitterness never comes first.

No one has to become bitter. Remember that. It's a choice.

Are you serious? Like, really... Do you actually believe that someone becomes bitter because they want to? Like... Really, though...

I didn't say because they want to. I said it's a choice. Never once said that someone wouldn't have to work against not being like that.

 

[ardour]

Neither of you are enamored by the idea of relationships, or particularly mind being single (by your words here), so of course you can smugly tell others not give in to bitterness.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Neither of you are enamored by the idea of relationships, or particularly mind being single (by your words here), so of course you can smugly tell others not give in to bitterness.

I haven't always been in a relationship. I have been rejected. So I don't know where you get the idea that just because someone is in a relationship, that they either have no idea or no right to know anything else. Because I do have someone, that means I don't know anything else or have issues with my relationship? Being in a relationship isn't the answer to everything, nor is it all positive and happiness. I honestly don't get why you tend to dismiss people in relationships.

 

[Xpendable]

The key word is Options. Whatever you feel about relationships at the moment, you can never empathize with the ones who don't have those options. A rejection or two isn't going to put you at the same lavel aa them, the same way skiping a meal won't make you equal to those who starve.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Lol

 

[VanillaCreme]

The key word is Options. Whatever you feel about relationships at the moment, you can never empathize with the ones who don't have those options. A rejection or two isn't going to put you at the same lavel aa them, the same way skiping a meal won't make you equal to those who starve.

You don't know how many times I've ever been rejected.

 

[TheRealCallie]

The key word is Options. Whatever you feel about relationships at the moment, you can never empathize with the ones who don't have those options. A rejection or two isn't going to put you at the same lavel aa them, the same way skiping a meal won't make you equal to those who starve.

You don't know how many times I've ever been rejected.

It doesn't matter. 
First, you are female, so you're already ahead of the game and could NEVER understand.
Second, you have had relationships, so anything you say is bullshit and you could NEVER understand.
Third, you aren't bitter, so you could NEVER understand. 

M'kay, did I cover everything, guys?

 

[kamya]

I think it's more a lack of empathy and "choosing" to not understand =p You forgot that reason.

 

[user 139760]

I think y'all are nuts.

In the meantime, I'm starving. Bring me some tacos.

 

[kaetic]

Bitterness never comes before rejection. Remember that. Bitterness never comes first.

No one has to become bitter. Remember that. It's a choice.

Are you serious? Like, really... Do you actually believe that someone becomes bitter because they want to? Like... Really, though...

I don't think you WANT to... But it's certainly a choice to keep dwelling on past rejections or not.
Do you get that you're basically saying some girl rejected you at some point and now every girl you ask out since has to deal with that fallout?

 

[TheRealCallie]

YES, DAMMIT!

 

[kaetic]

I think y'all are nuts.

In the meantime, I'm starving. Bring me some tacos.

Here you go

 

[user 139760]

I think y'all are nuts.

In the meantime, I'm starving. Bring me some tacos.

Here you go

....goddammit, I think I just broke my monitor.
Lured by that false sense of reality AGAIN!!!!

:club: