Online Relationships versus Real Life Relationships

[Tiina63]

I would prefer to meet someone 'in real life' rather than online, as you have at least a situation in common-you meet at college/work/social group, whatever, so you have something to fall back onto conversationwise if talk is starting to flag. Also, you know that you are interested in each other. But as I have had no luck finding someone in real life, I do online dating. I admit that I hate it-the trawling through profiles, the trying to make my messages as interesting as possible by picking up on things they have put in their profile (and then getting something like 'send me a bigger photo' in reply), the first meet, ugh. It is so exhausting and the rewards have been few and far between. If I could meet someone in real life, I would take this over online any day.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Real life over online when it comes to relationships, because there is so much more than just letters. You can see the person's reactions, body language etc. It's very important to me. You can kiss, hug and spend offline time with the special one. About friendships though... Online or offline, it doesn't really matter to me. Of course I would love to have a real life best friend (girl), especially in important life situations, if getting very ill for example.

 

[Regumika]

Online and in-person relationships both have their pros and cons. However, there is a universal problem that you face, trust: Regardless of how you date, how you talk, what they tell you, you have to take that leap of faith and believe what they say is true. That they will do what they say they will do. Don't do what they say they won't do. Are what they say they are. It isn't easier or harder for one to lie either online or in-person. Trust is just as hard to give out.

Let's just use women's point of view as an example.. In person, women fear that men just want them to have sex with. Online, women fear that the men really aren't who they say are because faking personality is a little easier online. You're faced with different issues, but regardless of how much they assure you giving that trust out is just as hard.

"In person lets you see their personality better. You can see their body language." True, but they can also act. Just like how it is easy to lie about who you are online. However, you can always use different means to confirm whether they are acting or not to a degree.

"Online takes away the physical factor and lets you really get to know the person." True, but again they could be pretending to be someone they are not. Like relationships in person, you can always find ways to get them to prove one way or another to a degree.

Relationships comes down to 3 things.

Do you feel anything for that person?
Are you going to commit to the relationship under normal hardships? (not including abuse or any of the such)
Do you trust that person?

The key thing to note is that a relationship takes two people for it to work. Which is why trust is the biggest problem, because you will never ever know for sure. Even after 20 years they can get up and walk away.

--

As for me personally, I like online. I can meet more people and it's (mostly) free.

 

[sandwichestime]

In short, the internet has really damaged society in my opinion. It's certainly damaged the parts that I come into contact with.

I have noticed this as well. In like 1997 I seem to remember like the renaissance of the internet where almost everyone I met was a great person who I thought was smart and interesting but now.. not so much. I am not sure what happened. My suspicion is that in the early days people had the same standards of politeness they had in the real world, but now, they have figured out they can be rude and there will be no consequences.

But I can still find some great people...just takes more work.

That's a very interesting point which not many people have touched upon. I was never online that far back but I imagine the novelty of simply being able to contact another person from across the world has worn off over the years, I even forget sometimes how special that is because I've become so used to it. It only seems to be getting more complicated what with social networking, trolling etc.

I've gotten around this so far mostly by not scrolling down on Youtube to the comment section

 

[TheSkaFish]

In short, the internet has really damaged society in my opinion. It's certainly damaged the parts that I come into contact with.

I have noticed this as well. In like 1997 I seem to remember like the renaissance of the internet where almost everyone I met was a great person who I thought was smart and interesting but now.. not so much. I am not sure what happened. My suspicion is that in the early days people had the same standards of politeness they had in the real world, but now, they have figured out they can be rude and there will be no consequences.

But I can still find some great people...just takes more work.

That's a very interesting point which not many people have touched upon. I was never online that far back but I imagine the novelty of simply being able to contact another person from across the world has worn off over the years, I even forget sometimes how special that is because I've become so used to it. It only seems to be getting more complicated what with social networking, trolling etc.

I've gotten around this so far mostly by not scrolling down on Youtube to the comment section

Ugh yea the youtube comments are the worst. I used to get in some pretty bad arguments on there, thankfully i stopped. i only use that now for the most part to ask questions on informative videos.

It could have been that in the 90s people were nicer, but I think it could have been that in the 90s, there were less people on the Internet. It wasn't as common, and of those that were on it, a larger percentage of them were probably brainy, tech-savvy people. So you'd find more interesting, intelligent people and less 15 year old kids swearing and namecalling at each other.

 

[sk66rc]

Online relationships of any kind tend to be a bit easier... It gives you more freedom to just walk away or go off line... Someone once said, it's much easier to turn a blind eye to faces you never see...

 

[Peaches]

I was twice in a long distance relationship and it was very painful, so a big NO to relationships, and lately I was thinking was good is to have a relationship, or even friends, if they are not there for you in person? I mean, during a move, when you locked yourself out of the house, when you want to share that experience with our common acquaintance for a laugh? Long distance can mean something, but in the end one is always alone with a computer (or phone), not sure that is healthy.
This said, very rarely you meet some special people online, then it makes sense to cherish them and try making those virtual relationships real, that means make them spill into real life, with Skype, live meetings or whatever. But it's very rare. So I guess I seek RL relationships and friendships rather than online.

 

[Grackle]

I would prefer real life.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I often talk to people who's not in my state. There's not many people who I talk too that lives in my state. I've made friends in the past in Florida and a few relationships too but right now I prefer to have a relationship online than having one who lives closer to me. Too be honest I actually found my boyfriend off of this site and at the time I wasn't even looking for a relationship. We started off as friends and he didn't put on any pressure from me at all which I liked cause I honestly get scared off when people are clingy towards me. I'm very happy with him and I'm in love with him. He's very supportive of me, listens to me, has wonderful conversations with me and listens to me. I couldn't be happier! =)

It may not be for everyone however but it does work out for some people.

 

[daddymack]

online relationships are very difficult to keep up with
real life relationships are more easier and steady