Sigma
Well-known member
I'm just gonna go straight to the point - I hate my country.
More specifically, I hate the part where I live. Not just dislike, I hate it with a burning passion.
I had some time alone with a psychiatrist somewhere in 2012 regarding something unrelated (though very unpleasant), but we also briefly touched on this subject, he gave a rather lengthy explanation, but in a nutshell the explanation was that my mind associates bad things with my country (the part I see as my country anyway, I don't feel any more kinship with the people in the north of my country than with belgian / german people on the border closer to where I live) whether they are related or not, in other words; textbook childhood trauma stuff.
Now having all that explained to me was all fine and dandy, but the feelings remained, even if I know the cause I still get very uncomfortable whenever I hear people speak dutch /when I hear dutch on tv or the radio, personally having a lengthy dutch conversation is the mental equivalent of walking on glass for me, even on forums if I happen to meet a dutch person I request we speak in english.
These feelings didn't really manifest until the age of 10 (pretty much when everything went to honeysuckle), but at that time I already spoke more or less fluent english because 90% of my family's acquaintances were british, we even spoke english at home sometimes whether we had british guests or not. Force of habit I guess.
So even though I didn't yet hate it, I considered dutch a redundancy.
Right, with that out of the way here is my question: Does anyone share these sentiments?
Not necessarily hating your country, just lacking complete loyalty to it. Because from what I've seen it's a rare thing indeed. Whenever I tell people I dislike my country (just dislike) I get the exact same reaction; surprise followed by disapproval. It's like there's an unwritten law dictating that you must agree with everything your country stands for - whatever that might be - and that anything less makes you a traitor (I actually tried searching for the antonym of patriot and the word coming up the most was traitor)
More specifically, I hate the part where I live. Not just dislike, I hate it with a burning passion.
I had some time alone with a psychiatrist somewhere in 2012 regarding something unrelated (though very unpleasant), but we also briefly touched on this subject, he gave a rather lengthy explanation, but in a nutshell the explanation was that my mind associates bad things with my country (the part I see as my country anyway, I don't feel any more kinship with the people in the north of my country than with belgian / german people on the border closer to where I live) whether they are related or not, in other words; textbook childhood trauma stuff.
Now having all that explained to me was all fine and dandy, but the feelings remained, even if I know the cause I still get very uncomfortable whenever I hear people speak dutch /when I hear dutch on tv or the radio, personally having a lengthy dutch conversation is the mental equivalent of walking on glass for me, even on forums if I happen to meet a dutch person I request we speak in english.
These feelings didn't really manifest until the age of 10 (pretty much when everything went to honeysuckle), but at that time I already spoke more or less fluent english because 90% of my family's acquaintances were british, we even spoke english at home sometimes whether we had british guests or not. Force of habit I guess.
So even though I didn't yet hate it, I considered dutch a redundancy.
Right, with that out of the way here is my question: Does anyone share these sentiments?
Not necessarily hating your country, just lacking complete loyalty to it. Because from what I've seen it's a rare thing indeed. Whenever I tell people I dislike my country (just dislike) I get the exact same reaction; surprise followed by disapproval. It's like there's an unwritten law dictating that you must agree with everything your country stands for - whatever that might be - and that anything less makes you a traitor (I actually tried searching for the antonym of patriot and the word coming up the most was traitor)