Pedophilia

[EveWasFramed]

Like here.

You made your point in the first post of this kind. Please don't make the reference again.

 

[Minus]

Yes, please try to keep this civil.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Hopefully if anyone here (underage or not or on any other site) is ever approached about sharing inappropriate pictures they notify a mod or admin immediately. We have a very supportive group most of the time here, even when some of us have bad days. We've shared very intimate things with each other so no one should ever feel ashamed of talking to someone about it. Or in this case some who is on the other side of the fence sharing something that they are looking for help or advice.

Having urges such as the OP can make someone feel very lonely and just need people to talk to. Like some of us who are just too shy or are agoraphobic or have anxieties that shut us off from life outside ourselves.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

K...
Heres a simple solutiom that cam be apply to
Many problems.
The principles of it..

"Don't let people rent space in your head"
"Don't listen to your disease"
"Dont figure the honeysuckle out'
" Let it go"
" be transparent"
" this too shall pass"
" DON'T PICK UP NO MATTER WHAT"

They're coping skills or living tools.

Its the same as having ptsd or getting
An anxiety attack.
Or getting truggers from ptsd.

I just gotta chill the fresia out.
Sit on my mother fucken hands
Til it passes.
The less i run with it..stop trying to
Figure it out. Or fight it.
Tbe less i feed the fire.
The sooner itll paas through me.

After all these years. Ill still get
An edge to go catch a buzzz...

I choose not to do that or react
To my negative thoughts and feelings.
I respond by applying my recover tools.
Oneday at a time.

 

[floffyschneeman]

The OP and many others who have replied has acknowledged that pedophile is gruesome. I think by being open, the OP is minimizing the chance of temptations. By knowing he has the tendency, people have the chance to be cautious if they feel they are a target. I think that judging will only cause more trouble. Like what the OP have said, it's not something he can just spit out, he has to find a way to live with it, over come it, without doing something he may regret for the rest of his life that will hurt people and affect their lives. So please let us not make anyone feel unwelcomed, regardless of their background, specially if they have come here with the hope of finding help.

 

[EveWasFramed]

The OP and many others who have replied has acknowledged that pedophile is gruesome. I think by being open, the OP is minimizing the chance of temptations. By knowing he has the tendency, people have the chance to be cautious if they feel they are a target. I think that judging will only cause more trouble. Like what the OP have said, it's not something he can just spit out, he has to find a way to live with it, over come it, without doing something he may regret for the rest of his life that will hurt people and affect their lives. So please let us not make anyone feel unwelcomed, regardless of their background, specially if they have come here with the hope of finding help.

Yes, this. ^^

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Im not responsible for having alcoholism....
Theyre no cure for alcoholism.
Whatever the fresia stima or preconceived
Notions miss informed people may have
About alcoholism.

Ive accepted i have it.
I dont blame myself for being borned
With it....

I dont drink today.

Theres alcohol and bars everywhere.
Its also socially acceptisble.
Its also being ram down my face..
The media. It gets promoted.

Im responsiable for my recovery.

---

K...
Im in a relationship at the moment...
Sometimes i get thoughts of banging
Other chicks...
Theyre fleeding thoughts.
I dont run with it.
Ive already paid a heavy prices.
Its not against the law to bamg chicks...
It dose breaks Renaes heart.
I wish not to hurt Renae, my family or myself.
I don't go bang other chicks no matter what.

Its simple.

 

[Pezza]

I don't mean to hijack the thread but was it really necessary to permanently ban Arsenic Queen? I understand she wasn't being civil but wouldn't a short term ban have been more appropriate? Pedophilia is understandably a disturbing and uncommon topic. Surely it's understandable that she has strong beliefs and opinions on the subject. There are members of this forum who have been abused as a child so it is not surprising that someone reacted badly to this thread despite it being wrong to do so.

I respect your decisions moderators but with all due respect in this case I don't agree with them.

-Pezza

 

[EveWasFramed]

I don't mean to hijack the thread but was it really necessary to permanently ban Arsenic Queen? I understand she wasn't being civil but wouldn't a short term ban have been more appropriate? Pedophilia is understandably a disturbing and uncommon topic. Surely it's understandable that she has strong beliefs and opinions on the subject. There are members of this forum who have been abused as a child so it is not surprising that someone reacted badly to this thread despite it being wrong to do so.

I respect your decisions moderators but with all due respect in this case I don't agree with them.

-Pezza

I didn't ban her. I never even threatened to ban her. She PMd me and asked that she be removed so, at HER request, her account was deleted. I have no idea why you would think that anyone had banned her.

 

[Pezza]

I don't mean to hijack the thread but was it really necessary to permanently ban Arsenic Queen? I understand she wasn't being civil but wouldn't a short term ban have been more appropriate? Pedophilia is understandably a disturbing and uncommon topic. Surely it's understandable that she has strong beliefs and opinions on the subject. There are members of this forum who have been abused as a child so it is not surprising that someone reacted badly to this thread despite it being wrong to do so.

I respect your decisions moderators but with all due respect in this case I don't agree with them.

-Pezza

I didn't ban her. I never even threatened to ban her. She PMd me and asked that she be removed so, at HER request, her account was deleted. I have no idea why you would think that anyone had banned her.

My mistake Eve, I guess I didn't consider that possibility. It Seems a shame to lose a regular member of the forum like that. Sorry again.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I don't mean to hijack the thread but was it really necessary to permanently ban Arsenic Queen? I understand she wasn't being civil but wouldn't a short term ban have been more appropriate? Pedophilia is understandably a disturbing and uncommon topic. Surely it's understandable that she has strong beliefs and opinions on the subject. There are members of this forum who have been abused as a child so it is not surprising that someone reacted badly to this thread despite it being wrong to do so.

I respect your decisions moderators but with all due respect in this case I don't agree with them.

-Pezza

I didn't ban her. I never even threatened to ban her. She PMd me and asked that she be removed so, at HER request, her account was deleted. I have no idea why you would think that anyone had banned her.

My mistake Eve, I guess I didn't consider that possibility. It Seems a shame to lose a regular member of the forum like that. Sorry again.

Although I can CERTAINLY see your point of view, Pezza, we can't let a situation like this become a witch hunt. It's always a shame to lose a productive forum member, but everyone makes their own choices.

 

[nerdygirl]

ALL is about people who are lonely. We each have our own reasons. Quite a few of us have some sort of emotional/mental issue. We may not all experience the same issues, but we are here to support one another and to be supported. If being here can help a person through one more day, and can help prevent one person from harming another, I'm all for it. If every person who ever had a terrible thought or desire, without acting on it, was condemned to walk alone... we'd have died out a long time ago.

I read a couple of articles yesterday saying that people who haven't acted on these urges actually shouldn't focus too much on the way victims and their families have reacted, because it triggers even more guilt for something they didn't do. More guilt leads to more self-directed negativity, which actually feeds into the drive to go out and do the thing you're trying not to do.

I do think that using those innocent videos as a crutch is a bad idea. It sounds worse to me than watching pornography, because you're training yourself to see children as sexy no matter what they're doing or wearing.

I found this on another site:

"If you find yourself attracted to children, here are some steps you must take to control yourself:

• Never allow yourself to be alone with a child, not even yours.
• Never allow yourself to dwell on erotic thoughts about children...force them out with other thoughts.
• Never allow yourself to view erotic images of anyone. Even stay away from underwear and bathing suit commercials...anything that gives you the wrong ideas.
• Never go to swimming pools, dance studios, playgrounds or anywhere else that gives you temptation.
• Never allow yourself to masturbate or to think of others while making love with your spouse.
• Find a trusted friend or family member (your spouse if married) to be accountable to. Tell them everything and ask them to keep an eye on you and confront you about this issue.

Also, I don't know if you've ever visited this site, but I thought it might have some sort of helpful information for you.
b4uact.org

 

[Pezza]

Just to make it clear regarding my earlier posts, I hope I didn't make you, the OP feel bad, that was not my intent. I have every sympathy for your situation and I am in no way blaming you for Arsenic Queens departure.

 

[Lonely in BC]

I'll be honest. I'm completely against pedophilia. The idea of adults forcing young children to get painful/uncomfortable/shameful sexual treatments; and that these adults enjoy ruining childhoods; enjoy sinking innocent children to a suicidary, self-hating, no-life for the most of their best years, FOR SEX? It simply makes me sick to my stomach. It's just completely wrong, sorry.

It's great if you really don't act on it. You really have an outstanding self-control. Congratulations...

As for the "crutch" suggested, I dunno. I am not really sure how you can look at children and not be tempted to act on it. I would tend to agree with Eve, but I dunno how much it would solve the problem. Denial is not going to erase what you are. It risks amplifying it from the impossibility to speak up, and making it more difficult to control.

I don't know what to tell you.

I'm in agreement with this- my initial response is a lot harsher as I have a young daughter and god help whoever looks at her the wrong way.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Errrr.....thats like me drinling near beer.
It works for some people.

Errr...yeah,
people looking at my daughter funni and rubbing
Her the wrong way, even if she's of legal age now.

 

[Poguesy]

Poguesy's original post deleted.

Censorship on filth :O

 

[SophiaGrace]

I'll be honest. I'm completely against pedophilia. The idea of adults forcing young children to get painful/uncomfortable/shameful sexual treatments; and that these adults enjoy ruining childhoods; enjoy sinking innocent children to a suicidary, self-hating, no-life for the most of their best years, FOR SEX? It simply makes me sick to my stomach. It's just completely wrong, sorry.

It's great if you really don't act on it. You really have an outstanding self-control. Congratulations...

As for the "crutch" suggested, I dunno. I am not really sure how you can look at children and not be tempted to act on it. I would tend to agree with Eve, but I dunno how much it would solve the problem. Denial is not going to erase what you are. It risks amplifying it from the impossibility to speak up, and making it more difficult to control.

I don't know what to tell you.

I'm in agreement with this- my initial response is a lot harsher as I have a young daughter and god help whoever looks at her the wrong way.

I see no help for him in condemnation.

There are fetishes on many many things, most of which are not harmful, such as an attraction to cars, or feet, or making sex with dolls.

I think it's good that he is controlling his urges, its condemnation that's made him hate himself and not be able to work it out with therapists. I hope he will be able to do so in the future.

He hasn't acted on his fetish (and you know what i mean by this) and is actively working to minimize harmful behaviors, so please stop looking down on him.

 

[VideoVidiVisum]

And lastly, it seems that, similar to AA, it's a religiously centered program. While I have no problem with that; I, personally, am an atheist and wouldn't be able to complete all of those steps honestly.

First, I'm not saying this to change you or anyone's mind. I am just clarifying. 12 step programs were originally developed in an age where it was just assumed everyone was religious. They has since adapted and changed, but we keep the original 12 steps and traditions the same in wording, changing them ONLY to fit with different types of addictions. Yes, it says God. No, it is no longer religious. It says in the readings it is a "spiritual, NOT religious program" and I for one have met many people who claim their "Higher Power" (anything that is more powerful than you, whether it be God, Shiva, Buddha, the group as a whole, the Hoover dam, etc) is a doorknob. Just clarifying =]
Also, as for being accepted, I am celebrating 3 years self injury free at a narcotics anonymous meeting next month. I've never done drugs. Never been drunk. My homegroup knows that, but they accept me without stigma! Hell, I even have a key to the meeting. I ran it for 6 months.

I see no help for him in condemnation.

There are fetishes on many many things, most of which are not harmful, such as an attraction to cars, or feet, or making sex with dolls.

I think it's good that he is controlling his urges, its condemnation that's made him hate himself and not be able to work it out with therapists. I hope he will be able to do so in the future.

He hasn't acted on his fetish (and you know what i mean by this) and is actively working to minimize harmful behaviors, so please stop looking down on him.

^That^

 

[Minus]

It is not religious, it is the acceptance that there is a power greater than you. For many people that power is their religion or god. For many others it is not.

 

[VideoVidiVisum]

It is not religious, it is the acceptance that there is a power greater than you. For many people that power is their religion or god. For many others it is not.

Exactly =]