Questions for the Men

[Volt]

That depends entirely on my mood, and also my opinion of the other person.

So it is possible he has a low opinion of me.

Yes. It's possible for anyone.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

Guys if you saw a woman aquiantance you knew through your other half, and at 5'4" she was ovviously struggling with a large piece of wood of 6'long and possibly 3' wide.  Trying to get it to her car.  Would you stop and ask if she needed help or just say Hello and keep walking past?

If I had the time, sure. Why not?

 

[MisterLonely]

Guys if you saw a woman aquiantance you knew through your other half, and at 5'4" she was ovviously struggling with a large piece of wood of 6'long and possibly 3' wide.  Trying to get it to her car.  Would you stop and ask if she needed help or just say Hello and keep walking past?

I personally would offer to help, if it really was obvious though, are you sure you weren't coming across as if all was fine?

 

[Serenia]

Guys if you saw a woman aquiantance you knew through your other half, and at 5'4" she was ovviously struggling with a large piece of wood of 6'long and possibly 3' wide.  Trying to get it to her car.  Would you stop and ask if she needed help or just say Hello and keep walking past?

I personally would offer to help, if it really was obvious though, are you sure you weren't coming across as if all was fine?

I don't think so because I was stopping every few feet to catch my breath (medical condition) and rub my hands. I was going from my house to my car which was parked about 20 feet away, he was walking down the Street.

 

[MisterLonely]

Guys if you saw a woman aquiantance you knew through your other half, and at 5'4" she was ovviously struggling with a large piece of wood of 6'long and possibly 3' wide.  Trying to get it to her car.  Would you stop and ask if she needed help or just say Hello and keep walking past?

I personally would offer to help, if it really was obvious though, are you sure you weren't coming across as if all was fine?

I don't think so because I was stopping every few feet to catch my breath (medical condition) and rub my hands. I was going from my house to my car which was parked about 20 feet away, he was walking down the Street.

Maybe he walked on and only later thought to himself "I should have offered to help", or maybe he wasn't having his day, try not to overthink it, whatever it was you have no control over it!

 

[kamya]

Yup he probably figured you had it handled.

 

[M_also_lonely]

None. Maybe a smile if we happen to make an eye contact and if we know each other. I would definitely reply to your "Hi" though, if i get one. I won't initiate by saying hi, i feel too shy to do so. 
Help? Not until you ask for it, no matter how much you are struggling. This is 2017, chivalry is dead.

 

[TheRealCallie]

None. Maybe a smile if we happen to make an eye contact and if we know each other. I would definitely reply to your "Hi" though, if i get one.
Help? Not until you ask for it, no matter how much you are struggling. This is 2017, chivalry is dead.

It has nothing to do with chivalry.  It has to do with seeing a human being struggling and being a decent person about it.  If you like them enough to say hi, you should help.... doesn't matter what gender the other person is.  But yeah, I suppose HUMANITY is dead too in 2017

 

[M_also_lonely]

None. Maybe a smile if we happen to make an eye contact and if we know each other. I would definitely reply to your "Hi" though, if i get one.
Help? Not until you ask for it, no matter how much you are struggling. This is 2017, chivalry is dead.

It has nothing to do with chivalry.  It has to do with seeing a human being struggling and being a decent person about it.  If you like them enough to say hi, you should help.... doesn't matter what gender the other person is.  But yeah, I suppose HUMANITY is dead too in 2017

I didn't deny helping. Nor you are a priest or preacher of humanity.  Thank you. What opinions I have is none of your business.
Speaking of it being about gender, well, judging from where the question was posted, you'd be wrong, sorry to say that. 
And no, humanity is not dead, one inhumane person like me doesn't define humanity. There are millions of humane people too. Wouldn't their humanity count too.

 

[ardour]

It's the fear of being accused of benevolent sexism. For example at work I wouldn't help a female colleague lift something unless they were really struggling where a man might be too, and I won't hold doors open unless they're immediately behind me.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

It's the fear of being accused of  benevolent sexism. For example at work I wouldn't help a female colleague lift something unless they were really struggling where a man might be too, and I won't hold doors open unless they're immediately behind me.

You ever have women do that thing where they dash in front of you and fling the door and let it swing in your face? Or the other thing, where they hasten right up on your heels to see if you will hold the door?

Yah...both of those things annoy the hell out of me.

 

[DarkSelene]

Do you guys feel good about holding doors open? Every time I do it, I feel very useful and people are nice to me.

 

[kamya]

Not really. It's just a thing people do.

I do feel bad if I accidentally let the door close on someone though.

 

[user 115627]

Not really. It's just a thing people do.

I do feel bad if I accidentally let the door close on someone though.

Same sentiment here. Just common courtesy. Plus I live in an apartment building where most tenants are 50+ which is a greater factor in the scenario than a person's sex, at least to me.

 

[MisterLonely]

If someone is coming my way or behind me going my way I'll hold the door unless I'm carrying something to make that impossible or really difficult.
Doesn't matter if it's a man or woman I'll hold the door for both.

 

[DarkSelene]

Yeah, I asked here because it was already being discussed, but I don't think the sex matters.

It is common courtesy, but nowadays everyone is walking around being all self-involved with their phones or whatever, that moment of a nice little human interaction makes me happy.


P.s.: What about opening doors in ~~romantic~~ scenarios?

 

[Volt]

There's this running gag at work that i always open the doors for my colleagues. I just walk very fast so i always arrive at the door first. I really don't care who or what generally. Just don't stop in front of the door and wait for me to open it, lol. Had that happen once.

Edit: I don't think i want to change my behavior when the situation comes a romantic one.

 

[MisterLonely]

Yeah, I asked here because it was already being discussed, but I don't think the sex matters.

It is common courtesy, but nowadays everyone is walking around being all self-involved with their phones or whatever, that moment of a nice little human interaction makes me happy.


P.s.: What about opening doors in ~~romantic~~ scenarios?

As in for a lady when going out to dinner? I'd have to say yes, if I can think straight and not be too nervous I would open doors, be it car, restaurant, bar or bedroom

But that ~~romantic~~ thing isn't something hat comes naturally for me, I've been doing things the same way so long, hard to break routine.

 

[user 115627]

At some point my dad must have solved this dilemma by consistently walking faster than my mom wherever they go.

 

[ardour]

Looking like you're deliberately being chivalrous comes across as corny in 2017. And of course they'd be women who'd take offence due to political views.