Self loathing

[duff]

i don't dislike myself. I dislike other people !

 

[Susana]

For as long as I can remember I've always hated myself. This self loathing has only managed to increase over the years. I hate my personality and appearance. In high school I was constantly put down for my appearance and for having no backbone, probably because I'm considered timid for a guy which made me feel weak and ashamed. I find it difficult to bring myself to look at my reflection in the mirror any more. I'm unbelievably insecure about most aspects of myself and I always wish I was someone else with good looks and charisma. I don't really relate to people easily either, which also makes me miserable. I don't feel like anyone wants to have a genuine conversation with me. I can't ever imagine me having a normal relatively carefree life surrounded by friends who don't feel obliged to keep me company out of pity. I put on a mask to hide my despair but I honestly don't know how much longer I can continue. Anyone else feel like this/ ever felt like this? What do you do to stop self destructive thoughts?
[/quote

Hi Skid - may I ask how old you are? Depending on your age, sometimes us humans go through phases during our life time and there's a danger in stepping over a boundary line where your brain won't come out of that phase. Let me know how old you are then I can tell you a thing or two about how and why you are feeling that way. Although no matter what age you are finding something you enjoy or care about to occupy your mind with is a bonus. If you don't have either one of these, then make sure you keep yourself busy with exercising .. exercising builds up all your ''feel good'' endorphins (cells) in your brain and you will automatically start feeling good about yourself, baby steps at a time
Take care.

I'm 19 so I assume I'm unlikely to come out of this phase since I'm an adult?

Hi - you are 19 years old - that is still very young! Even though you are an adult there is plenty of room for you to change and to come out of that phase You may at this stage in your life believe that it's impossible to change but it's not! You have your whole life ahead of you. You need to start by changing the way you think about yourself. Since you have kind of programmed your thinking in a negative way to believe that you don't like yourself for a long long time - your change in your way of thinking won't happen over night. And whether you want to believe it or not, you will even fight against changing and starting to think in a positive light about yourself because no one likes change and it's easier to just be the way you are then changing - changing takes guts and perseverance! And hard work! But it pays off big time in the end You know what they say: nothing good comes easy, however, once you get there, all good comes along. It's up to you! You are old enough to choose.. don't see yourself as a victim - rather see yourself as a survivor. Once you start feeling good about yourself, people will be attracted to you and they will want to talk to you and be around you. Unfortunately people don't want to be around anyone who is self-loathing or feeling ugly about themselves. People do pick this up. Because life is so tough as it is, no one wants to be brought down further into the pits by anyone and they will stay away from negative people. Think about this in your own terms - would you want to stick around someone who was always depressed and negative and thought badly about themselves - I don't think so because eventually that person would bring you down to their level and you would become just like them - negative and depressed! You want to rather be around people who bring you up and make you feel positive and good about yourself, people who see the best in you and urge you on to do better, people who believe in you and want to see you succeed. Now take all this and become it - don't wait to meet that person or people who will make you feel this way because you won't - not until you start feeling this way Then you always become a good example for other young adults and think of how good that will feel It's feels just great! Believe me...

 

[Skid Row 89]

For as long as I can remember I've always hated myself. This self loathing has only managed to increase over the years. I hate my personality and appearance. In high school I was constantly put down for my appearance and for having no backbone, probably because I'm considered timid for a guy which made me feel weak and ashamed. I find it difficult to bring myself to look at my reflection in the mirror any more. I'm unbelievably insecure about most aspects of myself and I always wish I was someone else with good looks and charisma. I don't really relate to people easily either, which also makes me miserable. I don't feel like anyone wants to have a genuine conversation with me. I can't ever imagine me having a normal relatively carefree life surrounded by friends who don't feel obliged to keep me company out of pity. I put on a mask to hide my despair but I honestly don't know how much longer I can continue. Anyone else feel like this/ ever felt like this? What do you do to stop self destructive thoughts?
[/quote

Hi Skid - may I ask how old you are? Depending on your age, sometimes us humans go through phases during our life time and there's a danger in stepping over a boundary line where your brain won't come out of that phase. Let me know how old you are then I can tell you a thing or two about how and why you are feeling that way. Although no matter what age you are finding something you enjoy or care about to occupy your mind with is a bonus. If you don't have either one of these, then make sure you keep yourself busy with exercising .. exercising builds up all your ''feel good'' endorphins (cells) in your brain and you will automatically start feeling good about yourself, baby steps at a time
Take care.

I'm 19 so I assume I'm unlikely to come out of this phase since I'm an adult?

Hi - you are 19 years old - that is still very young! Even though you are an adult there is plenty of room for you to change and to come out of that phase You may at this stage in your life believe that it's impossible to change but it's not! You have your whole life ahead of you. You need to start by changing the way you think about yourself. Since you have kind of programmed your thinking in a negative way to believe that you don't like yourself for a long long time - your change in your way of thinking won't happen over night. And whether you want to believe it or not, you will even fight against changing and starting to think in a positive light about yourself because no one likes change and it's easier to just be the way you are then changing - changing takes guts and perseverance! And hard work! But it pays off big time in the end You know what they say: nothing good comes easy, however, once you get there, all good comes along. It's up to you! You are old enough to choose.. don't see yourself as a victim - rather see yourself as a survivor. Once you start feeling good about yourself, people will be attracted to you and they will want to talk to you and be around you. Unfortunately people don't want to be around anyone who is self-loathing or feeling ugly about themselves. People do pick this up. Because life is so tough as it is, no one wants to be brought down further into the pits by anyone and they will stay away from negative people. Think about this in your own terms - would you want to stick around someone who was always depressed and negative and thought badly about themselves - I don't think so because eventually that person would bring you down to their level and you would become just like them - negative and depressed! You want to rather be around people who bring you up and make you feel positive and good about yourself, people who see the best in you and urge you on to do better, people who believe in you and want to see you succeed. Now take all this and become it - don't wait to meet that person or people who will make you feel this way because you won't - not until you start feeling this way Then you always become a good example for other young adults and think of how good that will feel It's feels just great! Believe me...

I've tried to adopt a positive mindset but I can't do it alone and I don't get any support or encouragement from anyone, in fact it's quite the opposite. What you have suggested is great advice but anyone who knows me would say I have absolutely no willpower.

 

[Susana]

For as long as I can remember I've always hated myself. This self loathing has only managed to increase over the years. I hate my personality and appearance. In high school I was constantly put down for my appearance and for having no backbone, probably because I'm considered timid for a guy which made me feel weak and ashamed. I find it difficult to bring myself to look at my reflection in the mirror any more. I'm unbelievably insecure about most aspects of myself and I always wish I was someone else with good looks and charisma. I don't really relate to people easily either, which also makes me miserable. I don't feel like anyone wants to have a genuine conversation with me. I can't ever imagine me having a normal relatively carefree life surrounded by friends who don't feel obliged to keep me company out of pity. I put on a mask to hide my despair but I honestly don't know how much longer I can continue. Anyone else feel like this/ ever felt like this? What do you do to stop self destructive thoughts?
[/quote

Hi Skid - may I ask how old you are? Depending on your age, sometimes us humans go through phases during our life time and there's a danger in stepping over a boundary line where your brain won't come out of that phase. Let me know how old you are then I can tell you a thing or two about how and why you are feeling that way. Although no matter what age you are finding something you enjoy or care about to occupy your mind with is a bonus. If you don't have either one of these, then make sure you keep yourself busy with exercising .. exercising builds up all your ''feel good'' endorphins (cells) in your brain and you will automatically start feeling good about yourself, baby steps at a time
Take care.

I'm 19 so I assume I'm unlikely to come out of this phase since I'm an adult?

Hi - you are 19 years old - that is still very young! Even though you are an adult there is plenty of room for you to change and to come out of that phase You may at this stage in your life believe that it's impossible to change but it's not! You have your whole life ahead of you. You need to start by changing the way you think about yourself. Since you have kind of programmed your thinking in a negative way to believe that you don't like yourself for a long long time - your change in your way of thinking won't happen over night. And whether you want to believe it or not, you will even fight against changing and starting to think in a positive light about yourself because no one likes change and it's easier to just be the way you are then changing - changing takes guts and perseverance! And hard work! But it pays off big time in the end You know what they say: nothing good comes easy, however, once you get there, all good comes along. It's up to you! You are old enough to choose.. don't see yourself as a victim - rather see yourself as a survivor. Once you start feeling good about yourself, people will be attracted to you and they will want to talk to you and be around you. Unfortunately people don't want to be around anyone who is self-loathing or feeling ugly about themselves. People do pick this up. Because life is so tough as it is, no one wants to be brought down further into the pits by anyone and they will stay away from negative people. Think about this in your own terms - would you want to stick around someone who was always depressed and negative and thought badly about themselves - I don't think so because eventually that person would bring you down to their level and you would become just like them - negative and depressed! You want to rather be around people who bring you up and make you feel positive and good about yourself, people who see the best in you and urge you on to do better, people who believe in you and want to see you succeed. Now take all this and become it - don't wait to meet that person or people who will make you feel this way because you won't - not until you start feeling this way Then you always become a good example for other young adults and think of how good that will feel It's feels just great! Believe me...

I've tried to adopt a positive mindset but I can't do it alone and I don't get any support or encouragement from anyone, in fact it's quite the opposite. What you have suggested is great advice but anyone who knows me would say I have absolutely no willpower.

Well I don't believe that you have no will power, especially since you already one step ahead - you acknowledge what your problem is head on and that's a start. Some people won't accept or acknowledge that they have a problem but you have already noticed it, accepted it and acknowledged it I don't know the people who have told you that you have no will power - but I doubt they can see who you really are... it takes a very big person to acknowledge that they have a problem and you've done that so give yourself some credit. Sometimes it is very hard to do this on your own with no support from friends or family so why not seek some help - find a counselor who can help you Don't sit back and do nothing about it. Before you know it, time has gone by and your old and weak and alone all because you gave up! Life is too short and you are too young to give up on life. Life is beautiful but only once you start seeing it through your own eyes

 

[Skid Row 89]

For as long as I can remember I've always hated myself. This self loathing has only managed to increase over the years. I hate my personality and appearance. In high school I was constantly put down for my appearance and for having no backbone, probably because I'm considered timid for a guy which made me feel weak and ashamed. I find it difficult to bring myself to look at my reflection in the mirror any more. I'm unbelievably insecure about most aspects of myself and I always wish I was someone else with good looks and charisma. I don't really relate to people easily either, which also makes me miserable. I don't feel like anyone wants to have a genuine conversation with me. I can't ever imagine me having a normal relatively carefree life surrounded by friends who don't feel obliged to keep me company out of pity. I put on a mask to hide my despair but I honestly don't know how much longer I can continue. Anyone else feel like this/ ever felt like this? What do you do to stop self destructive thoughts?
[/quote

Hi Skid - may I ask how old you are? Depending on your age, sometimes us humans go through phases during our life time and there's a danger in stepping over a boundary line where your brain won't come out of that phase. Let me know how old you are then I can tell you a thing or two about how and why you are feeling that way. Although no matter what age you are finding something you enjoy or care about to occupy your mind with is a bonus. If you don't have either one of these, then make sure you keep yourself busy with exercising .. exercising builds up all your ''feel good'' endorphins (cells) in your brain and you will automatically start feeling good about yourself, baby steps at a time
Take care.

I'm 19 so I assume I'm unlikely to come out of this phase since I'm an adult?

Hi - you are 19 years old - that is still very young! Even though you are an adult there is plenty of room for you to change and to come out of that phase You may at this stage in your life believe that it's impossible to change but it's not! You have your whole life ahead of you. You need to start by changing the way you think about yourself. Since you have kind of programmed your thinking in a negative way to believe that you don't like yourself for a long long time - your change in your way of thinking won't happen over night. And whether you want to believe it or not, you will even fight against changing and starting to think in a positive light about yourself because no one likes change and it's easier to just be the way you are then changing - changing takes guts and perseverance! And hard work! But it pays off big time in the end You know what they say: nothing good comes easy, however, once you get there, all good comes along. It's up to you! You are old enough to choose.. don't see yourself as a victim - rather see yourself as a survivor. Once you start feeling good about yourself, people will be attracted to you and they will want to talk to you and be around you. Unfortunately people don't want to be around anyone who is self-loathing or feeling ugly about themselves. People do pick this up. Because life is so tough as it is, no one wants to be brought down further into the pits by anyone and they will stay away from negative people. Think about this in your own terms - would you want to stick around someone who was always depressed and negative and thought badly about themselves - I don't think so because eventually that person would bring you down to their level and you would become just like them - negative and depressed! You want to rather be around people who bring you up and make you feel positive and good about yourself, people who see the best in you and urge you on to do better, people who believe in you and want to see you succeed. Now take all this and become it - don't wait to meet that person or people who will make you feel this way because you won't - not until you start feeling this way Then you always become a good example for other young adults and think of how good that will feel It's feels just great! Believe me...

I've tried to adopt a positive mindset but I can't do it alone and I don't get any support or encouragement from anyone, in fact it's quite the opposite. What you have suggested is great advice but anyone who knows me would say I have absolutely no willpower.

Well I don't believe that you have no will power, especially since you already one step ahead - you acknowledge what your problem is head on and that's a start. Some people won't accept or acknowledge that they have a problem but you have already noticed it, accepted it and acknowledged it I don't know the people who have told you that you have no will power - but I doubt they can see who you really are... it takes a very big person to acknowledge that they have a problem and you've done that so give yourself some credit. Sometimes it is very hard to do this on your own with no support from friends or family so why not seek some help - find a counselor who can help you Don't sit back and do nothing about it. Before you know it, time has gone by and your old and weak and alone all because you gave up! Life is too short and you are too young to give up on life. Life is beautiful but only once you start seeing it through your own eyes

I think the idea of seeing a counsellor sounds good on paper but then I think of the cost, the stigma attached to going to see one and the fear of being judged or made to feel like a fool. The thought of being old and looking back on my life and remembering how I needed counselling to get me through will be a massive burden.

 

[Lilianna]

Seriously, like I have said before in some other post, I believe a majority of us here at ALL over think soooo much.

 

[Toby]

running with pain, that's a beautiful song in your signature! Please, if you listen to anything we have to say here, please just take a moment to stop. Think. Feel. Relax... be happy. Find something that makes you happy. Have you been diagnosed with depression or something of that nature? Do you have anyone to talk to? If all else fails, you have us. Truly. We are ALL in the same boat to different degrees. We're all here to express ourselves. Life is there to be lived. Don't hide. Show yourself. Be who you are. KNOW who you are. That's very important. I think you may be hurting more people by ending your life than you would by living it. This is a hill that you can climb. You just need the right equipment to be able to make it up that hill. To find all of that equipment may take some time but it will be a great experience when you're able to finally make it up there. The key is to never give up. Brighter days are ahead.

Skid... we share some of the same qualities and experiences. At 19, you are an adult, yes, but that doesn't mean you are stuck with this mentality, just because you have reached the end or near the end of your formative years. As an adult, you have the mind to think like an adult. To address this situation like an adult. To stop... think... look deep down in yourself... and find the root of why you feel this way. A counsellor can be beneficial but they aren't necessarily the only solution. Look within yourself. For a moment, don't think about about how others see you. How do YOU see you? How do YOU feel about yourself? What is YOUR CALLING in this life? How can you change your situation to be at a meaningful place in your life?

Life is not about physical appearance. It's about your soul. What's deep within your heart. That is a person. Sometimes external appearances are an indicator of someone's mentality but they don't dictate how you should live your life. We ALL look different. Skid, I am saying this as a very very ugly person. This isn't a cliche - I am living this. Like I said, we share similar experiences in life. You may have never had the superficial "success" that comes with being a physically attractive person... but as the great Freddie Mercury once said - "there must be more to life than this." People who look like a moviestar are often judged solely on their looks in a very superficial manner. Don't think about how you can improve superficial aspects. Think about how you can improve meaningful aspects to what's inside of you. People, especially young people, can be very cruel. You're 19. You're in the mental transition period from being a teen to an adult. You have a long road ahead but NOW is the time to take hold of it. Don't become someone who looks back with a heart full of regret, sorrow and missed opportunites. You will die of a broken heart that way. You must take charge now! Truly... it's easier said than done... but you must keep trying to do it. Life is there to be lived. Live your life.

 

[Susana]

I'm 19 so I assume I'm unlikely to come out of this phase since I'm an adult?

Hi - you are 19 years old - that is still very young! Even though you are an adult there is plenty of room for you to change and to come out of that phase You may at this stage in your life believe that it's impossible to change but it's not! You have your whole life ahead of you. You need to start by changing the way you think about yourself. Since you have kind of programmed your thinking in a negative way to believe that you don't like yourself for a long long time - your change in your way of thinking won't happen over night. And whether you want to believe it or not, you will even fight against changing and starting to think in a positive light about yourself because no one likes change and it's easier to just be the way you are then changing - changing takes guts and perseverance! And hard work! But it pays off big time in the end You know what they say: nothing good comes easy, however, once you get there, all good comes along. It's up to you! You are old enough to choose.. don't see yourself as a victim - rather see yourself as a survivor. Once you start feeling good about yourself, people will be attracted to you and they will want to talk to you and be around you. Unfortunately people don't want to be around anyone who is self-loathing or feeling ugly about themselves. People do pick this up. Because life is so tough as it is, no one wants to be brought down further into the pits by anyone and they will stay away from negative people. Think about this in your own terms - would you want to stick around someone who was always depressed and negative and thought badly about themselves - I don't think so because eventually that person would bring you down to their level and you would become just like them - negative and depressed! You want to rather be around people who bring you up and make you feel positive and good about yourself, people who see the best in you and urge you on to do better, people who believe in you and want to see you succeed. Now take all this and become it - don't wait to meet that person or people who will make you feel this way because you won't - not until you start feeling this way Then you always become a good example for other young adults and think of how good that will feel It's feels just great! Believe me...

I've tried to adopt a positive mindset but I can't do it alone and I don't get any support or encouragement from anyone, in fact it's quite the opposite. What you have suggested is great advice but anyone who knows me would say I have absolutely no willpower.

Well I don't believe that you have no will power, especially since you already one step ahead - you acknowledge what your problem is head on and that's a start. Some people won't accept or acknowledge that they have a problem but you have already noticed it, accepted it and acknowledged it I don't know the people who have told you that you have no will power - but I doubt they can see who you really are... it takes a very big person to acknowledge that they have a problem and you've done that so give yourself some credit. Sometimes it is very hard to do this on your own with no support from friends or family so why not seek some help - find a counselor who can help you Don't sit back and do nothing about it. Before you know it, time has gone by and your old and weak and alone all because you gave up! Life is too short and you are too young to give up on life. Life is beautiful but only once you start seeing it through your own eyes

I think the idea of seeing a counsellor sounds good on paper but then I think of the cost, the stigma attached to going to see one and the fear of being judged or made to feel like a fool. The thought of being old and looking back on my life and remembering how I needed counselling to get me through will be a massive burden.

I agree with Toby. Skid let me tell you something. I work with abused/physically and emotionally and abandoned children from the ages of 3 years old to 18 years old, and if you could see how these children fight to survive and how much they want to become normal and happy within themselves and the world and how much they love people in spite of what they have been through - it's amazing and mind blowing, you will quickly realize how lucky you are because you have a choice, most of these children don't have a choice yet they fight for the choice. They have so much love to give even though they are broken inside and they give it freely because after all that they have been through, after hitting so rock bottom, there is no where else to go but up. I read your comments and you fear so much and worry about things like how you will be judged or made to feel like a fool if you seek help or even try to help yourself - take some time off and visit those that are less fortunate than you, spend some time with them - they will open your eyes up for you and maybe then you will want to be a survivor like them and not a victim - think about it, you actually don't have any reason to be a victim unless something physical and harmful has happened to you. By the way, when I say that these children have been abused, I don't mean pushed around or even hit around, I mean really bad things have happened to them - things that are unheard of and unhuman and unfortunately unspoken of to the rest of the world we live in, unless you are exposed to it, you will find it hard to believe that a human being can do these things to another human being - it's terrible! Think about that, the next time you feel down and self loathing ...If children like this have the will powder to succeed in changing their thinking, you don't have any excuse to not change your thinking - And I say this with the up-most respect. Maybe you should do some charity work - see how that changes your perspective about yourself and life ..

 

[Skid Row 89]

Hi - you are 19 years old - that is still very young! Even though you are an adult there is plenty of room for you to change and to come out of that phase You may at this stage in your life believe that it's impossible to change but it's not! You have your whole life ahead of you. You need to start by changing the way you think about yourself. Since you have kind of programmed your thinking in a negative way to believe that you don't like yourself for a long long time - your change in your way of thinking won't happen over night. And whether you want to believe it or not, you will even fight against changing and starting to think in a positive light about yourself because no one likes change and it's easier to just be the way you are then changing - changing takes guts and perseverance! And hard work! But it pays off big time in the end You know what they say: nothing good comes easy, however, once you get there, all good comes along. It's up to you! You are old enough to choose.. don't see yourself as a victim - rather see yourself as a survivor. Once you start feeling good about yourself, people will be attracted to you and they will want to talk to you and be around you. Unfortunately people don't want to be around anyone who is self-loathing or feeling ugly about themselves. People do pick this up. Because life is so tough as it is, no one wants to be brought down further into the pits by anyone and they will stay away from negative people. Think about this in your own terms - would you want to stick around someone who was always depressed and negative and thought badly about themselves - I don't think so because eventually that person would bring you down to their level and you would become just like them - negative and depressed! You want to rather be around people who bring you up and make you feel positive and good about yourself, people who see the best in you and urge you on to do better, people who believe in you and want to see you succeed. Now take all this and become it - don't wait to meet that person or people who will make you feel this way because you won't - not until you start feeling this way Then you always become a good example for other young adults and think of how good that will feel It's feels just great! Believe me...

I've tried to adopt a positive mindset but I can't do it alone and I don't get any support or encouragement from anyone, in fact it's quite the opposite. What you have suggested is great advice but anyone who knows me would say I have absolutely no willpower.

Well I don't believe that you have no will power, especially since you already one step ahead - you acknowledge what your problem is head on and that's a start. Some people won't accept or acknowledge that they have a problem but you have already noticed it, accepted it and acknowledged it I don't know the people who have told you that you have no will power - but I doubt they can see who you really are... it takes a very big person to acknowledge that they have a problem and you've done that so give yourself some credit. Sometimes it is very hard to do this on your own with no support from friends or family so why not seek some help - find a counselor who can help you Don't sit back and do nothing about it. Before you know it, time has gone by and your old and weak and alone all because you gave up! Life is too short and you are too young to give up on life. Life is beautiful but only once you start seeing it through your own eyes

I think the idea of seeing a counsellor sounds good on paper but then I think of the cost, the stigma attached to going to see one and the fear of being judged or made to feel like a fool. The thought of being old and looking back on my life and remembering how I needed counselling to get me through will be a massive burden.

I agree with Toby. Skid let me tell you something. I work with abused/physically and emotionally and abandoned children from the ages of 3 years old to 18 years old, and if you could see how these children fight to survive and how much they want to become normal and happy within themselves and the world and how much they love people in spite of what they have been through - it's amazing and mind blowing, you will quickly realize how lucky you are because you have a choice, most of these children don't have a choice yet they fight for the choice. They have so much love to give even though they are broken inside and they give it freely because after all that they have been through, after hitting so rock bottom, there is no where else to go but up. I read your comments and you fear so much and worry about things like how you will be judged or made to feel like a fool if you seek help or even try to help yourself - take some time off and visit those that are less fortunate than you, spend some time with them - they will open your eyes up for you and maybe then you will want to be a survivor like them and not a victim - think about it, you actually don't have any reason to be a victim unless something physical and harmful has happened to you. By the way, when I say that these children have been abused, I don't mean pushed around or even hit around, I mean really bad things have happened to them - things that are unheard of and unhuman and unfortunately unspoken of to the rest of the world we live in, unless you are exposed to it, you will find it hard to believe that a human being can do these things to another human being - it's terrible! Think about that, the next time you feel down and self loathing ...If children like this have the will powder to succeed in changing their thinking, you don't have any excuse to not change your thinking - And I say this with the up-most respect. Maybe you should do some charity work - see how that changes your perspective about yourself and life ..

I would have hazarded a guess that you were a social worker or a psychiatrist! I know my life is comparatively good to many others such as the children you described and I know my feelings are trivial but recently I've felt I need some sort of outlet, someone to listen because I reckon anyone I would talk to face to face would laugh it off. Sorry for my complaining. Thanks for yours and Toby's replies and advice! I will change my thinking eventually one step at a time.

 

[Susana]

I've tried to adopt a positive mindset but I can't do it alone and I don't get any support or encouragement from anyone, in fact it's quite the opposite. What you have suggested is great advice but anyone who knows me would say I have absolutely no willpower.

Well I don't believe that you have no will power, especially since you already one step ahead - you acknowledge what your problem is head on and that's a start. Some people won't accept or acknowledge that they have a problem but you have already noticed it, accepted it and acknowledged it I don't know the people who have told you that you have no will power - but I doubt they can see who you really are... it takes a very big person to acknowledge that they have a problem and you've done that so give yourself some credit. Sometimes it is very hard to do this on your own with no support from friends or family so why not seek some help - find a counselor who can help you Don't sit back and do nothing about it. Before you know it, time has gone by and your old and weak and alone all because you gave up! Life is too short and you are too young to give up on life. Life is beautiful but only once you start seeing it through your own eyes

I think the idea of seeing a counsellor sounds good on paper but then I think of the cost, the stigma attached to going to see one and the fear of being judged or made to feel like a fool. The thought of being old and looking back on my life and remembering how I needed counselling to get me through will be a massive burden.

I agree with Toby. Skid let me tell you something. I work with abused/physically and emotionally and abandoned children from the ages of 3 years old to 18 years old, and if you could see how these children fight to survive and how much they want to become normal and happy within themselves and the world and how much they love people in spite of what they have been through - it's amazing and mind blowing, you will quickly realize how lucky you are because you have a choice, most of these children don't have a choice yet they fight for the choice. They have so much love to give even though they are broken inside and they give it freely because after all that they have been through, after hitting so rock bottom, there is no where else to go but up. I read your comments and you fear so much and worry about things like how you will be judged or made to feel like a fool if you seek help or even try to help yourself - take some time off and visit those that are less fortunate than you, spend some time with them - they will open your eyes up for you and maybe then you will want to be a survivor like them and not a victim - think about it, you actually don't have any reason to be a victim unless something physical and harmful has happened to you. By the way, when I say that these children have been abused, I don't mean pushed around or even hit around, I mean really bad things have happened to them - things that are unheard of and unhuman and unfortunately unspoken of to the rest of the world we live in, unless you are exposed to it, you will find it hard to believe that a human being can do these things to another human being - it's terrible! Think about that, the next time you feel down and self loathing ...If children like this have the will powder to succeed in changing their thinking, you don't have any excuse to not change your thinking - And I say this with the up-most respect. Maybe you should do some charity work - see how that changes your perspective about yourself and life ..

I would have hazarded a guess that you were a social worker or a psychiatrist! I know my life is comparatively good to many others such as the children you described and I know my feelings are trivial but recently I've felt I need some sort of outlet, someone to listen because I reckon anyone I would talk to face to face would laugh it off. Sorry for my complaining. Thanks for yours and Toby's replies and advice! I will change my thinking eventually one step at a time.

You've just put a smile on my face Your more intelligent than you think or give yourself credit for Skid. No ''eventually's'' - start changing the way you think one step at a time now - there is no better time than the present You wanted people to listen to you and here you go - you have a whole lot of great people listening to you and giving you great advise right here on this site ;-) You have the positive push - now it's your turn to use it .. baby steps at a time.. anything and everything is possible - just think it over and over in your mind, repeat it over and over in your mind and before you know it, all that you think will be! Remember you are what you think .. and never be sorry for complaining - it's not about complaining and you're not complaining - you've just programmed your mind to be negative for so long, your brain can't help but feel that this is the only way to live.. but it's NOT! So smile and start believing in yourself. Even if you don't feel it, just say it to yourself anyway - it's like you have to con your brain into other ways of thinking eventually you will feel and believe it and people will even start giving you compliments on how confident you've become and they too will be amazed. But most of all - You will feel amazed at yourself and that is the best feeling ever..

 

[Gondwanaland]

Hello, Skid.

Listen, I used to believe that having friends and stablishing connections with other people would help me a lot. Well, it didn't. I've noticed that you're better off alone and, sometimes, they're gonna be totally useless.

What about focusing on yourself??? From what I've read, you seem to be a very intelligent person. You have potential. Forget about it if someone ever said otherwise. Those were just words and opinions, but not absolute truths.

It's hard to find 'good friends' nowadays. The vast majority of people are not genuine and sincere! believe me! I've seen it with my own eyes.

When I have self-destructive thoughts on my mind, I go for a walk to breathe fresh air or I read an article online. Find something that helps you to express yourself (drawing, painting, writting).

I hope my post has been useful! and remember: you're a valuable and unique person! you're stronger than your thoughts and others!

 

[Skid Row 89]

Hello, Skid.

Listen, I used to believe that having friends and stablishing connections with other people would help me a lot. Well, it didn't. I've noticed that you're better off alone and, sometimes, they're gonna be totally useless.

What about focusing on yourself??? From what I've read, you seem to be a very intelligent person. You have potential. Forget about it if someone ever said otherwise. Those were just words and opinions, but not absolute truths.

It's hard to find 'good friends' nowadays. The vast majority of people are not genuine and sincere! believe me! I've seen it with my own eyes.

When I have self-destructive thoughts on my mind, I go for a walk to breathe fresh air or I read an article online. Find something that helps you to express yourself (drawing, painting, writting).

I hope my post has been useful! and remember: you're a valuable and unique person! you're stronger than your thoughts and others!

Haha I wouldn't say that I'm intelligent, I've said and done some stupid things and I'm absent minded at times but thanks regardless.

 

[Susana]

Hello, Skid.

Listen, I used to believe that having friends and stablishing connections with other people would help me a lot. Well, it didn't. I've noticed that you're better off alone and, sometimes, they're gonna be totally useless.

What about focusing on yourself??? From what I've read, you seem to be a very intelligent person. You have potential. Forget about it if someone ever said otherwise. Those were just words and opinions, but not absolute truths.

It's hard to find 'good friends' nowadays. The vast majority of people are not genuine and sincere! believe me! I've seen it with my own eyes.

When I have self-destructive thoughts on my mind, I go for a walk to breathe fresh air or I read an article online. Find something that helps you to express yourself (drawing, painting, writting).

I hope my post has been useful! and remember: you're a valuable and unique person! you're stronger than your thoughts and others!

Haha I wouldn't say that I'm intelligent, I've said and done some stupid things and I'm absent minded at times but thanks regardless.

I agree with Gondwanaland ;-)
And no matter what you may think of yourself - you are an intelligent man I hope you have a wonderful week-end! It's raining here in South Africa - yippie!