Shortest internet date ever.

[Hearmenow2012]

What an A-hole. He could have at least hung around for the whole meeting rather than deciding after just 20 seconds to leave and to judge your looks like that is disgusting. You deserve so much better. I hope that you find what you're looking for.

 

[Tiina63]

Mr Yellow cat-I have thought, too, that he might have done it on purpose for some sick reason of his own. There are people who take pleasure in putting others down. Mysogenist the word is (for men who hate women), though I know my spelling is wrong. Thank you taking the time to write and give me your support.
Batman-I agree with you. I have gone on dates where it has been clear that nothing would come of it, but I have always seen the date through. Both because of politeness and concern towards the other person's feelings and also because they have taken the time to come to meet me. Then at the end I say something like I don't really feel that we would be right for each other but have enjoyed the meeting, so that I am not leading the other person on, but also am taking care not to walk on their feelings. Thank you for your understanding.
Wallflowergirl and the ska fish-thank you for your kind words, too. It is good to have this site to come to for help and support.
Storm child-thank you for some possible explanations of his behaviour. I will never know the truth of the situation, but agree with you that I am better out of it.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Oh my, screw Pete. I think you definitely deserve better than that - heck, any human being deserves better than that sort of treatment. I'm sorry you had to go through that though, definitely not a nice experience. I hope you can put it behind you and realise that he was just a serial jerk and it meant nothing. Good luck, I hope you'll meet much better people after this. *hugs*

 

[Edward W]

Although I can see how it would upset you, take comfort in the fact that it is Pete who was a complete <bleep bleep bleeeeeep>

I have changed the title to something more suitable!

Try and put this jerk out of your mind.

 

[Tulip23]

What a gardenia.
I'm so sorry to hear of your bad experience with Pete. You deserve far better.
Don't let this one idiot put you off dating.
*hugs* and good luck and I hope you meet someone nice.

 

[Tiina63]

Thank you for all your support. I don't want this to drag me down into self hatred, especially as he is not worth it and I don't know him. I am glad that I am not in a relationship with someone like him.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

On the flip side of the coin he's gotta be given some degree of credibility for having enough stones to come up to you instead of skulking away. It might not have necessarily been about looks, maybe he got cold feet or picked up a vibe that it just wasn't right. Fixating on someone else's non-engagement seems kind of pointless to me, I couldn't be bothered to think of it as being rejected....

 

[9006]

On the flip side of the coin he's gotta be given some degree of credibility for having enough stones to come up to you instead of skulking away. It might not have necessarily been about looks, maybe he got cold feet or picked up a vibe that it just wasn't right. Fixating on someone else's non-engagement seems kind of pointless to me, I couldn't be bothered to think of it as being rejected....

Yeah it was something I never responded with but was an after thought.

 

[Triple Bogey]

If this happened to me it would put me off internet dating forever.
It's a terrible thing really, the worst case scenario of a blind date.

 

[Tiina63]

Triple Bogey-I know that I am now very unsure about going on another internet date after this experience. To be honest, if my family had not all passed on, I would stop looking for someone. Internet dating can be brutal. I would leave it to chance instead.
Wilderness wildchild and 9006-I wonder if there was some sort of vibe as well. I know that my facial expressions and body language do not always match what I am saying or thinking because of my Aspergers and maybe I was pulling a face or something completely unintentionally when I first approached him and asked if he was Scott. I simply don't know if I was or not.
It is generally as if my face and body are speaking very ungrammatical Chinese or something while I am speaking English and this can produce dissonance.

 

[Edward W]

...when I first approached him and asked if he was Scott. I simply don't know if I was or not.

Um... how many guys were you seeing! I thought it was Pete!

Just kidding, all I can say is there are some good guys out there, and yes, sadly some jerks too.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Triple Bogey-I know that I am now very unsure about going on another internet date after this experience. To be honest, if my family had not all passed on, I would stop looking for someone. Internet dating can be brutal. I would leave it to chance instead.
Wilderness wildchild and 9006-I wonder if there was some sort of vibe as well. I know that my facial expressions and body language do not always match what I am saying or thinking because of my Aspergers and maybe I was pulling a face or something completely unintentionally when I first approached him and asked if he was Scott. I simply don't know if I was or not.
It is generally as if my face and body are speaking very ungrammatical Chinese or something while I am speaking English and this can produce dissonance.

Don't start blaming yourself. I am sure you wasn't pulling a face or anything like that !

I admire you if you continue with internet dating after this. I hate it with a passion. And I've only had a couple of bad experiences as well !

 

[Anahita]

Don't let it stop you from looking for someone. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. And that guy ... was a toad

 

[Tiina63]

EdwardW-his real name was Scott. I didn't mean to mention it incase he ever comes to this site. This is why I gave him another name (Pete)for this thread, but I forgot when I wrote this morning to use his false name. I would make a bad spy.
Triple Bogey-I am sorry to read that you have had bad internet dating experiences as well. It can be a shallow and soul destroying experience. I hate it as well.
Anahita-I fully agree with your opinion of him.

 

[nerdygirl]

How long did you interact via internet before agreeing to meet in person? How many messages did you exchange? Did you feel that you had a good idea of his personality and character before you met up?

 

[Triple Bogey]

EdwardW-his real name was Scott. I didn't mean to mention it incase he ever comes to this site. This is why I gave him another name (Pete)for this thread, but I forgot when I wrote this morning to use his false name. I would make a bad spy.
Triple Bogey-I am sorry to read that you have had bad internet dating experiences as well. It can be a shallow and soul destroying experience. I hate it as well.
Anahita-I fully agree with your opinion of him.

my worst was getting scammed out of money by a Russian woman. What I was thinking I don't know ? - I hate that part of dating sites, the scammers who pray on the really lonely people

 

[Tiina63]

Nerdygirl-as he lived only a few miles away, we didn't message for long before he suggested meeting. As things turned out, this was a good thing as I had not formed any sort of emotional attachment to him beforehand.
TripleBogey-scammers on dating sites who take advantage of the loneliness of the decent people on the sites to get money out of them really are amongst the lowest of the low. Loneliness makes us believe things which we would not do if we were not so lonely-don't blame yourself for being scammed. It could happen to any of us We all want to believe the best of the other person when we feel we may have found someone compatible on a dating site. It is easy to ignore or push away any warning signs.

 

[Edward W]

I would make a bad spy.

No problem, I guessed much, but my head just conjured up the scene.

Feel free to club me!

 

[nerdygirl]

Nerdygirl-as he lived only a few miles away, we didn't message for long before he suggested meeting. As things turned out, this was a good thing as I had not formed any sort of emotional attachment to him beforehand.

I see. This is actually the sort of thing I think you can avoid by not agreeing to meet in person until you've developed a bit of rapport.

 

[Tiina63]

He suggested meeting and I agreed, with his being so close by. The main reason I agreed is that I didn't want to fall into the endless emailing but no meeting trap. This has happened to me once and I felt really sad afterwards. However, I think that your suggestion bears thinking about as hopefully it will avoid such a situation happening again.