So apparently I'm the type of guy "Girls would never date, but would love to marry"?

[Kobo]

Hello everyone,

19 year old kiss-less virgin here. Been rejected well over 40 times. I asked a long time female friend for advice, and she said that "I'm a nice guy, but I'm not really the datable type but the type that girls marry when they're older." fresia being a nice guy. What does one do to become "datable"?

 

[kamya]

Go after the cougars.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Marriage usually means being stable enough to settle down. Dating usually means fly off your rockers, having fun at the spur of the moment. That's my take on it anyway. They might mean something different when they tell you that.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Hello everyone,

19 year old kiss-less virgin here. Been rejected well over 40 times. I asked a long time female friend for advice, and she said that "I'm a nice guy, but I'm not really the datable type but the type that girls marry when they're older." fresia being a nice guy. What does one do to become "datable"?

Hello Kobo.

I know the feeling. Exact same age here, exact same lack of kisses and so on.

I've been told by one of my female friends (who is around 20 years older than me) that I am the kind of guy that "makes women feel safe". She added "and I don't mean that offensively" after, which makes me think I'm in the same "marriage but not dates" kind of boat

Do you feel more mature than others your age? Because I think that's where the distinction perhaps lies.

I love fun as much as the next man, but I go about it in different ways to "the norm" at my age. I don't really drink or hit outrageously on girls I don't know well, which are two things apparently expected of males our age.

I'd say if you want to "date" more, pretty much go out drinking and picking up women and people's perception of you will change. It's possible you'll feel a bit sleazy though.

I knew a friend who lived the same kind of lifestyle as me who a few years back got into getting drunk, drugs and so on and quickly became known for being the "life of the party" and apparently picked up girls as a result.

However, he has never held down a stable relationship with one and also has a rep for being a bit of a dick. So I guess he's traded in "marriage material" for "datability" - I personally don't think that trade is worth it.

Good luck with the path you take

 

[Poueff]

Get confident,be edgy and just go for it. About 90% of dating is on attitude and confidence. Just go for everything you want and say everything that comes to your mind,except obviously nonsensical stupid stuff like "I wanna tap dat" in front of girls you want to date. Meh

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Stop asking chicks for dating advice, Dude.
You're not a woman..you dont think or act like a woman.
Its like ur going to a nail and beauty saloon when you need a tune up on your car.

You become datable when you wanna and allow yourself to be datable.
Dating N marriage are not the same.
Some women ( alot of women) dont wanna get married, be bare footed N pregnant)
They however still wanna just go out have a good time ( i mean fresia a lot).
So whatever about guys r studs N women a sluts mentality...cast that honeysuckle aside.

At the sametime...why in the fresia would you care so much about what other dudes that can't get a chick or dont have chicks
say about being a stud is bad? Or worry about what some chicks thats not ganna let you fresia her anyway say about being
a stud is bad? Theres a lot of guilt N shame at work dude, of whafever the fresia morals
N vaules other people have. Do you feel guilty about ******* the living honeysuckle out of a woman???

 

[Haz]

Working on being more aggressive and dominant in my attitude has helped.

You have to demonstrate a sense of humour, and give them a bit of honeysuckle instead of kissing their ass all the time, they appreciate it more then when you do show your sensitive side. be a little sly and reserved so they don't quite know what you are thinking, always have a grin for them and importantly demonstrate that with everything you do, you don't fresia around. there is a thin line between providing a bad boy fantasy and a complete jerk... if there is one thing with women I know it is this.

Don't take what this friend of yours said as absolute truth, the range of human needs and desires is too broad for such generalisations.

 

[Pheenix]

It's all about providing resistance when the girl is wrong but wants to think she is right, and creating sexual tension. It's sad, but it's true.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

You're probably going after the wrong girls. My boyfriend is the nice guy as well that's been rejected and even dumped by a lot of girls because he was too nice to them. When he acts nice to me though, I usually go: WOW! No guy has ever done that for me before, I really appreciate it!

Because I'm looking for someone to settle down with, while a girl who wants to have fun and feel excitement would probably find him to be boring. Look for girls who are wanting to settle down more.

Also, some of it probably has to do with your age. You're 19. Most girls your age are just looking for flings and are therefore going for the exciting type of guy. You notice how she used the words: "marry when you're OLDER." When they're ready to settle down, you're the type of guy girls would go for, which is something they do when they're "older."

Don't take it badly though . . . . unless you want flings yourself and aren't interested in anything serious, you're the type of person who will be able to establish long term relationships, while the guys who are getting all those girls now will probably never have a healthy relationship in their life.

I'm the female equivalent of you. Men don't date me who want to have fun. Men who want long term relationships are usually the ones who find me interesting. (Or at least the ones who think they do.) But since that's what I want as well, I don't really consider it a bad thing.

And oh, by the way, I didn't have my first kiss until I was 20, so don't feel bad that you haven't kissed anyone yet. Maybe it comes with being people like us.

 

[Badjedidude]

Just get out there and be yourself and constantly remind the women around you that you have a penis. But do it in a classy, subtle way.

That'll work.

 

[Daisy]

This isn't going to help you now but speaking as a 41 year old woman you will come into your own when you (and the girls around you) get a bit older. At your age no-one makes good decisions. It is all short term and what hits hardest at that moment. Bad boys make an impression so that is what works. Most girls realise that in their mid 20s and work out why they keep dating shits. They then start looking for guys who will treat them well. That is when your time will come. Keep being yourself, be nice to people and have patience. You have a lot of life to come yet and you will have the last laugh.

 

[Starman]

be yourself is good

if the girl doesn't like you for what you are then what's the point

 

[Pheenix]

Also, 40 times? Mad props for the perseverance, man! :thumbs:

 

[Brian]

Confidence knows many forms and methods of delivery. Sadly, the most common form is that of the drunken idiot who really has nothing to be confident about that means anything. But he puts on a good show.

Build a base for yourself so that you can be confident, and have a sense of humor. Don't be clingy or needy. Tease her and make her laugh. Be interesting and possess a breadth of knowledge, and pursue a breadth of experiences. This will add to your life, and also give you things to talk about and stories to tell. 'Social Capital'.

I don't drink, and I don't party. But I have a girlfriend who I've been with for a number of months now, and I believe that if I pursued the matter I could probably date this girl that sits next to me in A&P who I sort of started talking to/flirting with for practice.

Just get out there and be yourself and constantly remind the women around you that you have a penis. But do it in a classy, subtle way.

That'll work.

"Hello, fine lady. I see you have noticed my monocle, and my dashing top hat. Very good.

Now, pray tell, would you like to see my trouser snake? Because he's right down here, and he wishes his presence to be known."





Like that?

 

[Bread]

"Hello, fine lady. I see you have noticed my monocle, and my dashing top hat. Very good.

Now, pray tell, would you like to see my trouser snake? Because he's right down here, and he wishes his presence to be known."

Good show, jolly good show.

 

[Poueff]

Because I'm looking for someone to settle down with, while a girl who wants to have fun and feel excitement would probably find him to be boring. Look for girls who are wanting to settle down more.

Also, some of it probably has to do with your age. You're 19. Most girls your age are just looking for flings and are therefore going for the exciting type of guy. You notice how she used the words: "marry when you're OLDER." When they're ready to settle down, you're the type of guy girls would go for, which is something they do when they're "older."

Don't take it badly though . . . . unless you want flings yourself and aren't interested in anything serious, you're the type of person who will be able to establish long term relationships, while the guys who are getting all those girls now will probably never have a healthy relationship in their life.

I'm the female equivalent of you. Men don't date me who want to have fun. Men who want long term relationships are usually the ones who find me interesting. (Or at least the ones who think they do.) But since that's what I want as well, I don't really consider it a bad thing.

And oh, by the way, I didn't have my first kiss until I was 20, so don't feel bad that you haven't kissed anyone yet. Maybe it comes with being people like us.

Didn't he said he wanted exciting girls and not to settle down? As I read it,I thought that he was talking about his friends generalization,not his personal desires. Don't go for the environment you'd fit in more but don't desire,create your own environment and let other people in.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Maybe he's been truned down so much..Fucken 40 times without getting a bit..thats like
some serious honeysuckle..So his so call female friends that wouldnt go out with him or even fresia him
say honeysuckle like he's marriage material so he wouldnt hang himself.
I mean..how in the fresia are you ganna marry someone without dating them or get to know them first.
honeysuckle makes no fucken sense other then its gonna give you HOPE.

If he cant or dosnt even know how to kiss a woman or make out with her..then how in the fresia
is he ganna know how to form a loving and healthy relationship with a woman..yet to marry one?
Not dating material but love to marry...Thats like starting from the top then working your way down
Or starting a race at the ******* finishline...

Thats why if your a man...u dont take dating advice from a woman.
It might make you feel better to hear women say honeysuckle like that to you..but it's not going
to get you results or what you really want.
Do you want hope or do you want results?

 

[Sci-Fi]

I've heard that all my life, parents would tell me that they wished their daughter dated nice guys like me. Instead of the jerks they normally dated, they type of guys they worried about their daughter coming home drunk, high, or god forbid pregnant. So to them I was the boring, safe, non sexual type of guy...nice. And obviously they didn't trust their daughters to make the right decisions.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Evidently I'm the type of guy a gal shouldnt bring home to meet her parents...
God fucken forbid whitie's gene pool gets contanminated. I'm such a heathen worshipping BOOBS
Poeple like me should be erase from the face of the earth N cast into the depth of hell...
Oops..fresia that honeysuckle, someone have to take out the fucken trash N do dirty laundry.
You want fi lice wit u dum'in mista??? Tace wery wery good N make u hornay lone time.

 

[I'm Fine]

I went out with a few guys (back in the day) and they weren't the nicest guys (I won't go into details) but because they weren't, I didn't feel safe enough to have sex with them so I didn't and they disappeared pretty quickly once they realised that I wasn't going to. It was only when I met a guy I felt safe with, that was nice to me, that I eventually did (and ended up marrying him as it happens but that's a different story).

The point is, there ARE girls out there that are looking for the nice guy - its just we have to wade through all the not-so-nice guys that like to pretend that they ARE nice guys to find you. Plus, if they're anything like me, they can't make the first move because they're frozen in terror at the thought. I'll bet there's at least one girl on the fringes of your social groups that has been eyeing you for ages but daren't saying anything and is just hoping you'll ask them - and they'd say yes.

Good luck.