So...how exactly do I get a girlfriend?

[omarlittle]

I'm trying to get into the dating world and find myself a nice girlfriend. Problem is, I'm not sure how to start. Keep in mind that I am newly employed and recently graduated school so I cant rely on that anymore...too bad I didnt capitalize on that opportunity.

-First of all, I dont have a lot of friends so its not like a friend can just easily introduce me to someone they know. So that option's out the window.
-I'm planning to sign up for a couple of dating sites soon but I dont plan to solely rely on that.
-I take public transportation to work every day and let me tell you, I come across a bunch of very pretty girls around my age on the commute. Unfortunately, my self confidence is super low and I have not yet had the balls to spark a conversation with anyone. Even if I do (which I am trying to work on), I feel this would come off as very creepy/awkward. I rarely see guys just randomly picking up girls that they come across on the train. Thats the type of stuff I see on TV, not in real life.
-I guess I can ask co-workers to set me up with someone but I just started a new job so I'm not yet close with people to start asking stuff like that. Plus, I work in a very professional, corporate environment so I feel like that talking about that stuff would be very inappropriate for the setting.
-I feel that a lot of guys meet girls in bars and some girls may go to bars to meet guys. Again, I dont have a lot of friends so there's nobody for me to go to the bars with. I guess I could go alone and see what happens, but I always felt that going to the bar alone would make me look very creepy/desperate and girls will be immediately turned off.

So thats the predicament. Not sure whats the best way. I feel like I wasted my college years which I feel is when its easiest to do this kind of stuff. How did everyone here meet their GF/BF/significant other? Is it by one of the ways I mentioned?

Is it possible to even meet a girl when you dont have any friends?

 

[ladyforsaken]

Is it possible to even meet a girl when you dont have any friends?

Yes.

I'm not sure what to say or suggest you to do to get a girlfriend. But I'll suggest that you try to socialise more and make more friends first.

 

[Regumika]

how exactly? date. not like a relationship date, but a friendly date. out for food. out for a walk in the park. walk the mall/shopping strip. dating is to get to know each other, to see if you want to be with the other by finding out personality/habits/interests.

remember that in the future you will only be with 1 girl. there are many girls in this world. you WILL be rejected. but dont take it to heart. it's not you. it's just that you don't fit their profile, as you wouldnt be interested in girls that do not fit yours.

so, ask girls out on friendly dates, no commitment, and see where it goes.

 

[Dissident]

Those are treated as different? :s For myself it hasn't fared any better, and I've seen female friends talking about how nervous they are about those kinds of dates because they don't want to give the wrong idea (because they're not initially interested), even if the guy is strictly platonic.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

how exactly? date.

 

[Regumika]

(because they're not initially interested)

nothing wrong with explaining up front that it is okay to say no and also that you have no other intentions.

 

[Dissident]

I'm not saying it's not OK. I'm just saying that for some it's just as likely to get shot down as something less strictly platonic.

 

[Regumika]

That's true. and i do see that not everyone can be friends with anyone just because they want a friend. friends often times are like relationships, it has to match and stuff.

 

[PyramidHead]

Can't help you ... I can't say how I came to get my first girlfriend and my second. Well, it started as a penpal-friendship and things started as soon as she got out of jail and moved close to me. I guess the key is to find someone who likes you and finds you attractive.

 

[Smokey]

Shoulders back, full of confidence and head held high... look her in the eye, take a deep breath and do this,

She'll wet herself on the spot!​

 

[Mike413]

First off you don't try too hard. YOu have to put in effort but you can't give away the store. Just give her a small sample then pull back. Make her work for it. At some point you need to make her chase you a little bit. If you can't do that or she doesn't take the bait then move on and go after someone else. Also, tease her a little bit. Don't put her on a pedastool. Point out her flaws but then say she's still cute(Ex. you have a funny button nose but it's cool I still think it's cute). So the key thing here is to keep her guessing. Another example "you seem nice I suppose but I'm not sure yet if you are my type. You might just annoy me like a bratty sister." Stick with the teasing and back and forth banter that is mildly antagonistic but then let her know you MIGHT still be interested as long as she is nice and plays fair and doesn't flake on you or pull crap. Do these things and you are golden. Also I suggest reading David Deangelo's stuff.

 

[EveWasFramed]

First off you don't try too hard. YOu have to put in effort but you can't give away the store. Just give her a small sample then pull back. Make her work for it. At some point you need to make her chase you a little bit. If you can't do that or she doesn't take the bait then move on and go after someone else. Also, tease her a little bit. Don't put her on a pedastool. Point out her flaws but then say she's still cute(Ex. you have a funny button nose but it's cool I still think it's cute). So the key thing here is to keep her guessing. Another example "you seem nice I suppose but I'm not sure yet if you are my type. You might just annoy me like a bratty sister." Stick with the teasing and back and forth banter that is mildly antagonistic but then let her know you MIGHT still be interested as long as she is nice and plays fair and doesn't flake on you or pull crap. Do these things and you are golden. Also I suggest reading David Deangelo's stuff.

*chuckles*

 

[Smokey]

First off you don't try too hard.YOu have to put in effort but you can't give away the store. Just give her a small sample then pull back. Make her work for it. At some point you need to make her chase you a little bit.If you can't do that or she doesn't take the bait then move on and go after someone else. Also, tease her a little bit. Don't put her on a pedastool. Point out her flaws but then say she's still cute(Ex. you have a funny button nose but it's cool I still think it's cute). So the key thing here is to keep her guessing. Another example "you seem nice I suppose but I'm not sure yet if you are my type. You might just annoy me like a bratty sister." Stick with the teasing and back and forth banter that is mildly antagonistic but then let her know you MIGHT still be interested as long as she is nice and plays fair and doesn't flake on you or pull crap. Do these things and you are golden. Also I suggest reading David Deangelo's stuff.

Tease her ?

call out her flaws but still say she's cute ?

have her chase you ?

What is she a dog ?

 

[EveWasFramed]

LMAO

 

[WildernessWildChild]

First off you don't try too hard. YOu have to put in effort but you can't give away the store. Just give her a small sample then pull back. Make her work for it. At some point you need to make her chase you a little bit. If you can't do that or she doesn't take the bait then move on and go after someone else. Also, tease her a little bit. Don't put her on a pedastool. Point out her flaws but then say she's still cute(Ex. you have a funny button nose but it's cool I still think it's cute). So the key thing here is to keep her guessing. Another example "you seem nice I suppose but I'm not sure yet if you are my type. You might just annoy me like a bratty sister." Stick with the teasing and back and forth banter that is mildly antagonistic but then let her know you MIGHT still be interested as long as she is nice and plays fair and doesn't flake on you or pull crap. Do these things and you are golden. Also I suggest reading David Deangelo's stuff.

This is pretty good advice for all you studs out there who are inundated with girls trying to get with you- sure fire methods to achieve singleness.

 

[EveWasFramed]

First off you don't try too hard. YOu have to put in effort but you can't give away the store. Just give her a small sample then pull back. Make her work for it. At some point you need to make her chase you a little bit. If you can't do that or she doesn't take the bait then move on and go after someone else. Also, tease her a little bit. Don't put her on a pedastool. Point out her flaws but then say she's still cute(Ex. you have a funny button nose but it's cool I still think it's cute). So the key thing here is to keep her guessing. Another example "you seem nice I suppose but I'm not sure yet if you are my type. You might just annoy me like a bratty sister." Stick with the teasing and back and forth banter that is mildly antagonistic but then let her know you MIGHT still be interested as long as she is nice and plays fair and doesn't flake on you or pull crap. Do these things and you are golden. Also I suggest reading David Deangelo's stuff.

Honestly, if a guy acted like that toward me, I'd think he was up to a bit of passive/aggressive douchery. lol

(I totally posted a response to THIS post on a totally different thread. Don't ask, lol)

 

[omarlittle]

I get the whole going out on dates part. That's what I want to do. But I'm just not sure how to start this

If I just randomly go up to a cute girl in the park in the middle of the day, and start hitting on her....do i appear creepy or confident?

 

[Badjedidude]

If I just randomly go up to a cute girl in the park in the middle of the day, and start hitting on her....do i appear creepy or confident?

I'd say that would probably fall under "creepy."

 

[MadMonkè]

I dont know if this is the right forum to ask this question...

Mike's suggestion was pretty good I thought.
but the overall reaction/support probably isnt what you are looking for.

It looks like you are feeling pretty good about yourself. And you just want to share in your good vibes.
just make your intentions known as such, and I dont think many people will turn you down.

Good luck

 

[Mike413]

Oh yeah, I'm way off. Women love to say they don't go for jerks and badboys but we all know that the so called nice guy is the one they complain to about all the jerks they are seeing.

My way isn't about being a jerk though. It's about being a playful guy who is a little bit hard to get while being full of intrigue, humor and mystery.

But I suppose you ladies would rather have a guy show up at your doorstep with a handful of flowers, have him spend 60 dollars on you on the on the first date then give this so called perfect gentleman a peck on the cheek only to never return his phone calls or see him again. Yeah, try to tell me that doesn't happen. LOL. "Well, he was nice but I just didn't feel anything. There was no spark." That is what they say to their girlfriends or male friends.

Let's face reality. Both men and women but especially women like a challenge. If you already know the guy is interested in you no matter what(probably mainly because of your looks)you'll get tired of him and discard him. He's no longer fun or a challenge. Game over. Women in particular seem to want what they think they can't have or at least what doesn't come easy. The reality is most men play right into women's hands and they become their pawns and often their doormats. If I sound cynical it's because I am but I'm also just trying to be real here. Who puts more of a financial investment in the beginning stages of a relationship typically? Men or women? Bam, there's your answer.

---

If I just randomly go up to a cute girl in the park in the middle of the day, and start hitting on her....do i appear creepy or confident?


It all depends on how you do it. Definitely do not ask her for her opinion or the time or whatever. She knows you are talking to her because she is female. YOu do not need an excuse or a ruse. Just go up to her and say something like "you seem cute(or nice)so I had to come over and say hi." If you want you can add a "my name is ...." I think it's best not to say your name that way a few minutes in if she is really interested she will ask you what your name is. Do not ask for her name until she asks yours. Yes my friend unfortunately it's all a game so you may as well just have fun with it.