So i've been on this site about a week and a half

[SophiaGrace]

Yep!

+1

Also, I find it kind of stupid to get your panties in a bunch about this. Don't you think the people you've PMed might see this thread and how could they have anything but negative feelings seeing this?

If they don't respond, move on.

Also, this might be an example of your own social awkwardness, not being able to accept rejection (and move on) and interpreting neutral responses as negative responses.

Soph! *shrug*

River!

*shrugs back*

 

[hbkdx12]

I'd like to point something out. We are a group full of socially awkward people. We each have our own ways in which we are awkward, but we are awkward, nonetheless. Are you seriously getting bothered by the fact that people who are not very sophisticated in the art of communication are not communicating with you the way you'd like them to?

As far as courtesy goes, I'm not even sure it's proper decorum to write somebody a PM regarding a thread topic. I might do it with somebody I consider a friend or if I feel the things I'm saying are secret or might stir up drama. Other than that, it feels wrong to me to respond in a private way. The person posted in a thread. The person probably wants responses in the same way.

Yes, i'm really getting that bothered by it because as socially awkward as we all are, we're not socially awkward beyond reproach. Not a single one of us would be here if we didn't want to reach out for help, cope with our problems and find guidance. So when you get that help and guidance, whether you agree with it or care to take heed to it, the very least you can do is acknowledge it as a small token of appreciation if nothing else. Socially awkward or not, I don't believe that's asking a lot. At all.

Even if you think the advice i give is downright BS, atleast say that this way we can talk about it and maybe it'll open some things up in me and reassess how i view and look at things. The same way I'm trying to help you, you could be helping me.

 

[Callie]

While I understand what you're saying. You shouldn't do something expecting to get anything...even something as simple as a thank you. You said your peace, they read it, that's all they are really required to do. They don't OWE you a thank you. Yes, it would be the polite thing to do, but you chose to PM them on your own, they didn't ask for it, so they honestly don't owe you anything.
If it happened to me, I would be a little irked, but only for a minute and then move on. There's nothing you can do about it, so why dwell on it? Why make a post about it and as someone else already stated (I think) make them see it and possibly cause more harm than good by that PM?

 

[SophiaGrace]

Not a single one of us would be here if we didn't want to reach out for help, cope with our problems and find guidance.

Uh,

what about those of us that come here so we feel less lonely?

What about those of us that come here because we fit in no where else?

What about those of us that come here so we have a social group?

That's not asking for help, or finding guidance.

 

[rivermaze]

i'm loosing my faith

 

[hbkdx12]

While I understand what you're saying. You shouldn't do something expecting to get anything...even something as simple as a thank you. You said your peace, they read it, that's all they are really required to do. They don't OWE you a thank you. Yes, it would be the polite thing to do, but you chose to PM them on your own, they didn't ask for it, so they honestly don't owe you anything.
If it happened to me, I would be a little irked, but only for a minute and then move on. There's nothing you can do about it, so why dwell on it? Why make a post about it and as someone else already stated (I think) make them see it and possibly cause more harm than good by that PM?

They don't owe me a thank you anymore than i owe them a response to their thread but the point is feedback, no matter how small, has a tendency to go a long way.

Imagine if you were new and made 6 threads that came from the heart and were important to you and no one decided to do so much as respond, with something...anything. How would you feel?

 

[rivermaze]

...

 

[hbkdx12]

Not a single one of us would be here if we didn't want to reach out for help, cope with our problems and find guidance.

Uh,

what about those of us that come here so we feel less lonely?

What about those of us that come here because we fit in no where else?

What about those of us that come here so we have a social group?

That's not asking for help, or finding guidance.

All of those examples work off the idea of finding people you relate to and people that relate to you. How do you adequately do that if you decide to ignore people when they try to talk to you and be relateable?

---

...

why do you feel that way?

 

[Callie]

Just because we are all here for basically the same reasons doesn't mean everyone HAS to talk to you. Perhaps they just came to mostly read and don't want to bond on this site. Maybe they had a question and just wanted answers and nothing further than that.
You say you know that they don't owe you a thank you, yet you posted this thread. They don't owe you feedback. Whether or not it's polite is irrelevant. Maybe they didn't WANT PM's in regards to their thread, that's the whole reason they posted the thread in the first place. You should have posted what the PM's said in the thread and if anything maybe asked if you could PM them in more detail and awaited their answer.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Not a single one of us would be here if we didn't want to reach out for help, cope with our problems and find guidance.

Uh,

what about those of us that come here so we feel less lonely?

What about those of us that come here because we fit in no where else?

What about those of us that come here so we have a social group?

That's not asking for help, or finding guidance.

All of those examples work off the idea of finding people you relate to and people that relate to you. How do you adequately do that if you decide to ignore people when they try to talk to you and be relateable?

Maybe they felt like they didn't relate to you. They are in charge of who they want to talk to and respond to.

I get plenty of people offline who i am nice to, and never really strike up a conversation with. Do I take an offense that they don't like me? Sometimes. Sometimes it hurts, and then I forget about it because I know that somewhere out there there will be people that like me and want to be my friend.

There has to be mutual interest between two parties, then it works.

I think what is happening is that you want results from your effort.

You want a balanced equation. Life is about chance, not balancing equations.

Humans can be and are an unpredictable variable.

This will be my last response to this thread.

 

[Pheenix]

Humans might be unpredictable, but they shouldn't be, speaking inside the context we are now.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Humans might be unpredictable, but they shouldn't be, speaking inside the context we are now.

I'll give you a predictable context.

Parent and child.

Parent should love child. (predictable context)

Parents don't always love their children. (unpredictable outcome)

Thus, humans ARE unpredictable.

 

[Lollipop286]

Well...hmm...

Obviously you're stuck with your idea that you deserve a thank-you and no matter what anyone says, you're going to think that so, so be it.

But unless someone said "PM advice please", that's when you should PM advice, otherwise, right it on the thread. Just seems pointless to PM them all this advice that they didn't even ask for. Also, maybe they think you're advice is crap and are just ignoring you, maybe they never read it, maybe they just don't want to talk to you. You don't know. Just move on.

I'm here so I can just talk to people, that's it, I'm not reaching out for help btw

 

[Peter Lorre]

The way I see it:

1) The OP stating that it's impolite of those people to not respond isn't irrelevant. It actually goes to the core of the subject.
2) These people should (ideally) respond.

Why should they respond?

1) It's polite.
2) Internal reason: It's the logical thing to do: they post a thread containing a cry for help. Someone offers help... why not atleast try it? Honestly, if we were discussing this in an economical context there wouldn't even be a discussion
3) External reason: They should respond for the simple fact that they joined a forum like ALL. So many people on this forum deal with so many serious and sad issues on a daily basis. Many of them have noone to rely on, to trust, nobody to acknowledge them. Why would these kind of people, who are familiar with rejection, not acknowledge eachother? All it takes is a 'Thanks man '... How can people ever truly solve/overcome these issues if even 'brothers in arms' don't stick together?

Besides, when you get a PM from someone, how can you tell that it didn't take a lot of courage/time/energy from that someone to just send it? It's like getting a thoughtful - but possibly sucky gift - from someone... do you acknowledge the thought/input or do you just throw it away in front of their eyes?

I (aswell as the OP) know that nobody owes anyone anything here in this context, but surely, wouldn't the forum be a better place if we all acted like is suggested by the OP? Can't we atleast acknowledge that? So why are there so many people rigorously trying to disagree with him? To me, that just feels like disagreeing just for the sake of disagreeing, and that saddens me.

But that's just how I see it.

 

[blackhole]

to the op,

don't take it personally.

most people here do not genuinely want advice.

in fact, most are here because they never take advice.

most want attention.

can't get that in a pm, lol.

 

[EveWasFramed]

The way I see it:

1) The OP stating that it's impolite of those people to not respond isn't irrelevant. It actually goes to the core of the subject.
2) These people should (ideally) respond.

Why should they respond?

1) It's polite.
2) Internal reason: It's the logical thing to do: they post a thread containing a cry for help. Someone offers help... why not atleast try it? Honestly, if we were discussing this in an economical context there wouldn't even be a discussion
3) External reason: They should respond for the simple fact that they joined a forum like ALL. So many people on this forum deal with so many serious and sad issues on a daily basis. Many of them have noone to rely on, to trust, nobody to acknowledge them. Why would these kind of people, who are familiar with rejection, not acknowledge eachother? All it takes is a 'Thanks man '... How can people ever truly solve/overcome these issues if even 'brothers in arms' don't stick together?

Besides, when you get a PM from someone, how can you tell that it didn't take a lot of courage/time/energy from that someone to just send it? It's like getting a thoughtful - but possibly sucky gift - from someone... do you acknowledge the thought/input or do you just throw it away in front of their eyes?

I (aswell as the OP) know that nobody owes anyone anything here in this context, but surely, wouldn't the forum be a better place if we all acted like is suggested by the OP? Can't we atleast acknowledge that? So why are there so many people rigorously trying to disagree with him? To me, that just feels like disagreeing just for the sake of disagreeing, and that saddens me.

But that's just how I see it.

Yes....this.

But there may be reasons they don't respond that you will never know about. Try not to take it too personally - it happens a lot, and usually isn't a slight against you. I suppose I agree with Peter on the subject for the most part.

Oh, and one more thing...there's NOTHING wrong with taking the time to PM someone you think is in need. People just have different views on the subject, as you can see from the opinions expressed here.

 

[hellomiko]

I think Peter Lorre pinpointed it.

And I also agree with blackhole, except I would never have the courage to admit it on the forum People on here just want sympathy, not advice.

 

[SophiaGrace]

most want attention.

I freely admit I want attention.

Just not negative attention.


...

Why?

Because I feel empty inside.

Honest answer.

 

[nerdygirl]

Imagine if you were new and made 6 threads that came from the heart and were important to you and no one decided to do so much as respond, with something...anything. How would you feel?

I don't think that compares. If I was new and randomly wrote 6 people, I wouldn't expect responses regardless of how sincere or important I felt my message was. These people have no reason to write me, or even to open my PMs. If, however, I was new and created just one thread from the heart, I'd expect to get posts on it in response.

 

[blackhole]

i don't pm back minors

never know where chris hansen is