Socially adaptive or fake?

[EveWasFramed]

I've heard the term "socially adaptive" to describe people who are able to adapt to different social environments with relative ease.
I've also heard these "socially adaptive" people referred to as "fakes."
(Not fake as in bad, just those who can fake being OK in their current surroundings, whatever they may be.)

Do you think that people can adapt to their social surroundings, when moved from one social setting/group to another, or do you think they just "fake it" and don't really fit in?
I've always been curious about this.

Also, do you think you are socially adaptive or do you "fake it" when you're thrown into a different social setting than you're used to?

 

[Sci-Fi]

I think to an extent they fake it, like if its something they have no real interest in but get involved with just to be part of the group. Then there are some people who just find anything interesting and get along well with people. I've faked it myself before, depending on where I was and who I had to put up with (I don't mean that in a bad way) but had to fake interest in something that I really cared nothing about. Sometimes you learn something new you never knew before, so it can be a plus to fake your way through different social situations. Plus you'd never know who you might meet that you find you get along with.

 

[Adrolak]

I'm not very socially adaptive. I'll usually only put myself into a social situation that I feel comfortable in, and if I'm not sure, I'll wait until I find something that I'm genuinely interested in, or can relate to, etc. in order to reach in and join. Otherwise I just kind of hang out in the back and don't talk.

 

[Batman55]

Salesmen are the best at this.

Be like a salesman and most of your social problems will go away

 

[Regumika]

Let's just use the general terms Extroverts and Introverts. I am going to assume that everyone here that suffer from loneliness is actually an Introvert. Real Extroverts do not suffer from loneliness because they can adapt to each situation.

If you are an Extrovert and is lonely, you probably fall under the "socially adaptive, but fake it". The illusion that you are social, to get by. The problem then arises when two "fake" Extroverts starts to get to know each other and finds out that neither are actually social and the connection stops. It is not the fault of either person.

There are those that are genuine Extroverts and can adapt to different social situations except Introversion. They tend to get bored of Introverts and move on to either do their own thing or do things with others instead. Also not their fault, because that's just how Extroverts behave. Though if the Introvert decides to speak up, the Extrovert will adapt and turn their attention to the Introvert.

Conclusion - There are fake Extroverts and real Extroverts.

Personally, I fake it. I am not successful every time though, sometimes it get's really difficult and awkward. I fake it because it is better for the people. If I had a choice I would not be present at all. If I had to be present, I do not want to one to bring the mood down and ruin it for everyone. The other reason I fake it is because I just assume that other Introverts won't do it and this is probably the way with the highest success rate to discover other Introverts. Someone has to step out of their comfort zone.

 

[Rainbows]

I just tell them it doesn't really interest me and look at my phone? I don't think they really mind ... lol!

 

[mintymint]

You need to make the social environment adapt to you. In which case you are no longer 'adaptive' or a 'fake'. You are the master

 

[Badjedidude]

I think it's a mixture of both.

Some people fake it (for convenience, community, or whatever reason), others don't have to fake it and are genuinely comfortable with different social environments/settings.

I think I'm mostly in the latter group.

I think where a lot of people get caught up is that they think you have to be like the different social group in order to be a part of the social group. Sounds counter-intuitive, I know. But really, there's no need to fake it at all.

It's perfectly alright to just be who you are and try to enjoy (and learn about) the different social groups you may encounter. Be at ease. Enjoy the company. Ask questions. Talk to those within the new social group. I believe it's more about your attitude than about how you're perceived by the group.

I think as long as you think you fit in, you fit in.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I think to an extent they fake it, like if its something they have no real interest in but get involved with just to be part of the group. Then there are some people who just find anything interesting and get along well with people.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Rainbows]

You need to make the social environment adapt to you. In which case you are no longer 'adaptive' or a 'fake'. You are the master

I'd rather not be.

 

[Peaches]

You need to make the social environment adapt to you. In which case you are no longer 'adaptive' or a 'fake'. You are the master

ahah, exactly

also, some people just genuinely love to be with people, regardless of the reason. Then some others are into that for the power or the attention or some equally dark purpose, and that brings about the fake part, but I guess if you are just good at being with others that is adaptive.

Personally, I have been thrown into really different settings so I have learned a little bit to be adaptive, but that is based more on having a more solid idea of who I am and make an effort to find some common ground, sometimes (like that group where everyone was into extreme right wing ideology) it is just not possible. I guess fake is when you start metaphorically walking over your own values and beliefs to be part of the group, otherwise it's all about negotiation.

 

[Boring-Weirdo]

It's just terminology. People do what it takes to be successful.

 

[constant stranger]

I've been told more than a few times that I'm very socially adaptive and I've had to ask myself if they're lying to me about it for some reason, and if so, what's in it for them to lie? A little bit mistrusting of me.....

Within myself, I think of what they call adaptive, as faking on my part, because I usually (almost always) derive no pleasure from socializing. I try to be smart and interesting, but really I'm just hoping to get it over with so I can go home. Something seems to be missing in me in the social enjoyment department.

 

[Gutted]

I guess it depends on the person and the situation. You might find yourself in an alien situation but like it. Thus you will 'adapt'. Or you might not like it and pretend to, or you might just go home

 

[EveWasFramed]

I dated a guy who called me socially adaptive. He said I could be just as comfortable and happy among billionaires or bikers - it wouldn't really matter to me either way.
I think that being truly socially adaptive is being able to find something to enjoy in any given situation and to feel comfortable in that situation. Just my two cents.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I usually don't put myself in uncomfortable situations. The only time I ever find myself going to events or gatherings is when it's a family event. Usually when I'm there I usually stay quiet and hang out by sitting on the couch. I'm usually quiet when I'm put into situations like that.

 

[African_weasel]

It's really depends on how go about it honestly

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Hmmm... :/ well this is not really a good comparison, but I believe with enough skill you can easily adapt. For instance, I play a ton of video games. However, there are plenty of genres that I do not really care for. However, at times I end up playing them. Using my knowledge of gaming I am able to adapt to become at least a mild challenge to whomever I am playing.

Socializing is no different, you would be able to pull knowledge from past experiences to identify patterns or body language in new situations and eventually fit right in with a completely new social group.

 

[ghbarnaby2]

I think it's a mixture of both.

Some people fake it (for convenience, community, or whatever reason), others don't have to fake it and are genuinely comfortable with different social environments/settings.

I agree with BJD on this one. I almost always get along with everyone no matter the circumstances, but I am not sure if I would call it being "comfortable" with the social environment. Though I am not completely sure how to explain the feeling overall either.

 

[ardour]

I think it's better just to come to terms with the fact that not everyone's going to like you.