M
mariomaniac
Guest
why do you even try. if you love then the person you love never cares about you. its not even worth trying...
IgnoredOne said:Rationally, because if you do not try, then there is no possible way to succeed. By not trying, you are choosing to be alone, whereas by trying, you have the slim chance of success.
Can't say that I practice what I'm saying here, though. After being burned ten times in a row, its very hard for me to try again. Its almost counterintuitive to think so - to go ahead and let yourself get burned again? Ouch.
So right now I'm working with the idea that I neither can expect nor deserve love; the certainty(though negative) its actually much more calming than the rollercoaster sense of uncertainty before. I can't say that it isn't disappointing or painful in its own way, though.
But, well, such is life.
Regards,
IO
mariomaniac said:why do you even try. if you love then the person you love never cares about you. its not even worth trying...
Arianna said:I.O. I didn't mean to imply that you (or anyone else) should stop trying..only to be careful..
Cosmic Kid said:OK HERE'S WHAT I MEAN...
ALL that matters is..DO I LIKE YOU? It's what "I" like that matters. Even if you don't like me, screw ya, I know both your strengths and weaknesses enough to be able to make my own mind up about my feelin's towards you. And, that's beginning to matter to me. (Used to all that mattered..."Does she like me? And, btw, fwiw...they all had to like me LOL or I felt rejected. (I LOl , I felt rejected alot LOL) lol
So what if you don't like me? I don't give a crap. Hell, I'm liken you, you're makin' me feel good., that's my goal. There's a certain amount of (well alot of) power in that. The real kind, not the kind that's bartered.
(I know I'm lol soundin' drunk, and that's ok too, I'm not drinking alcohol, but, hell, maybe I should...no just kiddin', I couldn't feel this way that way. anyway..
IgnoredOne said:Arianna said:I.O. I didn't mean to imply that you (or anyone else) should stop trying..only to be careful..
Your words are well taken, but I don't believe that my exact situation has much to do with that. Namely, I've always been rejected in my life; its very hard not to take it personally. For anything that could be said about that, and trust me, I've said many of them to myself, the ultimate facts remain: we are literally programmed to feel physical pain at the sense of rejection, most of us do define at least some part of our self-concept through validation from others, and as a male, I am instinctually compelled to try to "get girls." These things "feel right", and every failure adds the experiences of emotional(and some physical) pain, sensations of powerlessness, and the associated triggers to beliefs in worthlessness.
These are not rational; these are emotional responses. But they wear their toll nonetheless on the psyche and their whispers do come to define our characters significantly. I dealing with it in as mature, and as healthy as a way I can. But don't think that there aren't often moments that all that screams inside of me is some combination of, "Why won't anyone want me?", "I'm a total failure at life", "The world is unfair", and "I hate girls - why can't they give me a chance?"
Such is the nature of emotional scars for me.
Arianna said:I am really trying to understand the male mindset...why do you all equate your success or worthlessness with the ability to "get girls?"
Shouldn't those feelings be based on something greater then that?
And as far as someone 'not wanting you'..what makes you think they're worth having?
Arianna said:I am really trying to understand the male mindset...why do you all equate your success or worthlessness with the ability to "get girls?"
Shouldn't those feelings be based on something greater then that?
And as far as someone 'not wanting you'..what makes you think they're worth having?
frey12 said:I am really trying to understand the male mindset...why do you all equate your success or worthlessness with the ability to "get girls?"
Shouldn't those feelings be based on something greater then that?
And as far as someone 'wanting you'..what makes you think they're worth having?
Dulcinea said:It is a mystery for me why love goes exactly to the people who don't value it too much, whereas those - both men and women - who would give their life for it receive so little or nothing at all. I look around and I see exactly the most cynical, dishonest and selfish people being repaid with the greatest amount of love. The man who cheats on his wife is loved by both his wife and mistress; the one who is faithful is losing finally the only woman whom he loves. The same about women. I wouldn't say 100% true, but from the situations I know, it is more than 90%, really. What kind of cruel game is this?
IgnoredOne said:Dulcinea said:It is a mystery for me why love goes exactly to the people who don't value it too much, whereas those - both men and women - who would give their life for it receive so little or nothing at all. I look around and I see exactly the most cynical, dishonest and selfish people being repaid with the greatest amount of love. The man who cheats on his wife is loved by both his wife and mistress; the one who is faithful is losing finally the only woman whom he loves. The same about women. I wouldn't say 100% true, but from the situations I know, it is more than 90%, really. What kind of cruel game is this?
Well, initially, looks play a more significant part that most people admit. The next thing, though, is confidence as we are generaly credulous and take our cues on the worthiness of an individual by his own assessment of himself. Actual, true confidence is very attractive.
So confidence brings success. Ironically, confidence comes from success. Therefore, having been initially successful for whatever reason, these guys become more confident, bringing them more success, bringing them more confidence, etc.
Its funny, isn't it? Life is a comedy, its just the living that's a tragedy.
Regards,
IO
Dulcinea said:Actually looks count very much especially regarding women. The younger and the more attractive, the more chances to find partners.
Regarding men, what counts mostly in the eyes of many women is wealth, success, the social status.
Dulcinea said:Actually looks count very much especially regarding women. The younger and the more attractive, the more chances to find partners.
Regarding men, what counts mostly in the eyes of many women is wealth, success, the social status.
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