Splitting the bill on the first date

[Revengineer]

Good or bad idea?

 

[Alonewith2cats]

It depends who you talk to. I personally will bring my own cash on a date and be prepared to pay my own way. If he wants to pay I'm not going to argue with him.

Are you asking if you should pay on the first date? I would say yes, but do something casual and inexpensive. Avoid the high priced restaurant.

 

[MissGuided]

Here's a bit of sage advice.
If you invite someone out, pay for it. It's that simple.
If I invite someone out, I pay for it. Even when it's friends or family. It really is that simple.

^My thoughts are the same.

 

[ladyforsaken]

If it's a first date, and we have to split the bill, I personally don't mind it.

So I guess it depends who you're with and how they feel about it.

 

[theglasscell]

I had this come up tonight.

I had originally planned for us to go to play billiards for our first date but the girl texted me before and said her back hurt and she wanted to know if I'd go to a restaurant instead. Then she suggested a place in her neighborhood.

I met her there and we ate, it seemed pleasant as far as first dates go but when the check came I said "Let me get this."

And she was like "No we should split it."

And she seemed pretty insistent so I just agreed to split it.

So I felt like that could be a bad sign but I don't really know. She could just be a feminist or something.

I guess I'll see if I hear back from her.

She was such a sweet girl so I'd be happy to get to see her again.

 

[Shut_Out]

Personally, as a woman, I prefer to go "Dutch" on dates. I don't think it's fair that the guy should always have to pay, but again, that's my personal belief. However, I recommend at least offering to pay on the first date, just to be polite, as I think it's still expected, even today.

And if she insists otherwise, then what the hey! If not, then she's probably pretty traditional, in which you should pay for subsequent dates. If that bothers you, then you should bring it up to her when the time is right.

 

[9006]

It depends on who asked to go. If YOU asked HER then I wouldn't suggest splitting it at all. If she asked you, you could suggest splitting it as a nice gesture.

 

[Shipster0958]

So I felt like that could be a bad sign but I don't really know. She could just be a feminist or something.

HAHAHAHAHA I don't know why but that sentence was HILARIOUS!

I guess I'm old fashioned. My date better be paying for me period.

 

[Fustar]

If you asked her out, then you should already be prepared to pay. However if she insist on paying her share, politely insist that you get the bill, if that doesn't sway her insisting let her pay her half. Problem solved. Always make sure you ask, its polite, don't just do whatever you want.

 

[theglasscell]

It's hard to tell, I mean what that means. I've had women let me pay but then not wanted a second date. And I've had people insisting on paying but then they liked me.

I guess you can't really go based on tradition anymore.

I'll see. I texted her later that night after the date that I enjoyed meeting her.

Then she texted me this morning, "I enjoyed meeting you as well."

I didn't get around to responding until a few hours later and I said "I would want to hang out again."

And I didn't hear back tonight.

So who knows?

I'm not gonna worry about it. The date itself was pleasant enough. If it goes no further I won't sweat it.

She was really cute though, she looked a lot like Leighton Meester. So I wouldn't mind spending more time with her.

 

[Sterling]

When me and my boyfriend first started dating, he was jobless so I always paid when we went out Lately (now he has a high paying job), he pays....but now we take turns. It didn't really bother me.

If a guy asks me out though....I kind of expect him to pay, but I always bring my own cash just in case.

 

[Bones]

I always offer to pay.

However, some women prefer to split the bill.

So, I always play it by ear.

 

[petrovchanka]

The person who asks the other out pays for dinner. The "invited" might ask to contribute...either by splitting the bill or taking care of tip...but this is when the "inviter" INSISTS that no such thing will happen. Men, if you're asking, be gentlemen and don't accept the other's offer. Ladies, bravo for being independent and high class and modern in taking care of the bill if you've asked someone out

 

[theglasscell]

On the last date the girl was so insistent about not letting me pay the whole thing, she almost got frantic about it. In that case I just agreed to split it. It was awkward because the waiter had to go back and print out two separate bills. And the bill was only 32 so it was barely any expense for me to cover the bill.

I found that kind of insulting. Usually they will offer to split after I offer to pay and then I will insist on paying and they say thanks. In this case she just wouldn't let it go.

 

[Tiina63]

I am older, so grew up at a time when the man usually paid.
Given that things have changed and that I have little money, I would let the man pay, but then if we got to know each other well, I would cook him a meal at my home every so often so that I would be giving and not just taking.

 

[Jack _]

I pay, doesn't bother me.

 

[Shipster0958]

^Good answer.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I think it would lead to less men being taken advantage of. There are a lot of women that just see it as free meals.

 

[EveWasFramed]

You must hang out with some odd females. I can't think of even ONE woman I know who feels that way. Im sure they exist, I just dont know any of them.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I don't hang out with women who do this, but I have heard guys complain about it.