Suicidal? PLEASE don't do it

[QuietGuy]

This is the most tragic story I've read in a long time. This poor girl could have been brought back from the brink of suicide and helped along the road to recovery, if only she'd sought help.

A bullied schoolgirl stepped off the top of a 60ft car park and died in front of her ex-boyfriend after she spotted him with another girl, an inquest heard yesterday.

Robyn Nixon, 15, had suffered "psychological bullying" and jumped from the top floor of the car park in Weymouth, Dorset, on April 11 this year. She had been excluded from a group of friends and had also broken up from her boyfriend of seven months in the days before her death, an inquest heard.

The hearing was told how Robyn had been speaking to her ex-boyfriend, now 17, in the minutes before she jumped to her death. He had been in the town with his new girlfriend and they walked to the car park after Robyn telephoned him, concerned for her safety. Just moments after the pair arrived, Robyn ended the telephone call and stepped from the edge of the building. Her ex-boyfriend rushed to her side but she suffered massive head injuries and was declared dead in hospital shortly afterwards.

The coroner said no one could know what was going through Robyn's mind in the moments before she jumped, but concluded she took her own life. He said at the inquest at Dorset County Hall in Dorchester: "She had two areas of problems. One was being excluded, if that's the right word, from a group of friends at school, and the other was that she had only recently broken up with a boyfriend." He said Robyn may not have expected to see her ex-boyfriend with another girl and "that was what made up her mind", he added.

Notes were later discovered in her bag, one reading that "there is nothing for anybody else to hear", Mr Johnston said.

Mrs Nixon, of Dawlish Crescent, Weymouth, told the inquest: "She wasn't going to school as she felt so isolated, because she'd had a fall-out with friends and she just felt that everybody hated her." She said her daughter was subject to "psychological bullying" rather than physical bullying. She had even been taunted on a social networking site while on a family holiday to India in March.

One of Robyn's friends said she had confided in him two days before her death that she intended to either "cut herself" or jump from the multi-storey car park. Asked by the coroner if Robyn gave a reason, the 16-year-old boy said: "She just said she wasn't happy with her life at the moment. I asked her why. I told her she could get through it, and that it was a certain stage of her life. She said: 'Yes, but I've got to live through this stage'." Robyn later promised to him that she would not go through with her threats, sending him a text message to say: "I'm not going to top myself."

A 15-year-old witness told the inquest of Robyn's final moments. "She got up and started walking to the edge. She just continued walking. She stepped off and I froze to the spot because I didn't want to get any closer."

(Original articles: 1, 2)


If you've found this post through Google, and are feeling suicidal, please visit Befrienders Worldwide and call your local suicide helpline NOW. Suicide is NOT the solution to your pain.

When we are depressed, we tend to see things through the very narrow perspective of the present moment. A week or a month later, things may look completely different.

Most people who once thought about killing themselves are now glad to be alive. They say they didn't want to end their lives - they just wanted to stop the pain.

The most important step is to talk to someone. People who feel suicidal should not try to cope alone. They should seek help NOW.

Please don't do it.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I cannot help but feel this is an add for another website. However, I can let that slide. Maybe I will even check out this befrienders website.

Anyway, when I see stuff like this it angers me. It makes me want to commit suicide just to smite you. I do not know what else to say. Yes this female could have been helped down the road to recovery. However, who is To say that road will ever end? Will she actually reach that place know as recovery? This is not something anyone actually thinks about. All they think about Just how ******* tragic it is that someone does not want to live.

Let me spell it out for you, using myself as an example. I have... well no one to support me through this. When I really look at it. I do not count my family. Since my family is obligated to give a honeysuckle. I do not count them since they could have cared less when I was a C student and depressed. My roommate, well he does not really know how to deal with this stuff and would distance himself from me. Finally the only friend I have sees herself as a detriment to my life. So once I start really getting help she is gone. Basically I am on my own. The suffering I have read about people going through to get better makes it all the less worth it when I have to stand firmly and only on my two feet.

Here is something you won't hear very often. I regret not killing myself 3 years ago. A year ago you would not have heard me say this. However, now I regret it. If given the chance to go back in time and kill myself 3 years ago I would do it without a moments hesitation. Because the pain of having found happiness and then losing it is far greater than the pain I experienced when I had never been happy. I do not want to be happy again because I know that if I lose that happiness things will be even worse.

I don't know, I often times just get angry to see stuff like this. However, the only reason there is a story on this girl is because she is young. If I killed myself I would just be another statistic. People who have never struggled to make friends or lovers can never understand. They have always had others to rely on. I would give anything to put a person in my shoes and see how long They want to keep living.

 

[Nina]

How sad, it breaks my heart when I read stories like this. Where were the parents? It's so very important to stay connected with your teens.
Great post and info...

---

AFrozenSoul--
I wish your situation were different and that you'd had the support you needed when you needed it. But to tell someone that is simply trying to support others that their words makes you want to commit suicide to, "smite" them. Makes me think you need to consider your anger issues.
If the words of a stranger trying to be a part of a solution in ending some of the worlds pain makes you angry enough to want to end your life then what of the cruel words being thrown around by so many? At some point you're going to need to address WHY you are so angry at individuals who had nothing to do with your issues.
There are indeed bad and cruel folks in the world causing much pain for many but the only real path to recovery for anyone is through self accountability and reason. You are going to be the person to save or end you're existence. Getting angry at folks trying to offer resources is NOT going to help yourself or anyone else. That said, I do honestly hope you find the answers you need. Your life is valuable whether you realize it or not.

 

[JamaisVu]

I don't know, I often times just get angry to see stuff like this. However, the only reason there is a story on this girl is because she is young. If I killed myself I would just be another statistic.

I don't so much feel angry about these kinds of stories, but...exasperated. I echo your sentiments, basically. For the majority of people (who are not pretty teenage girls), they are just a statistic. Nobody reports on the lives of people who suffer far more than a breakup and being unpopular. The young woman has every reason to be sad given her social problems, but do most suicides really occur over teen melodrama? What about the people with health problems, psychological disorders, friendless and useless, broke and unsuccessful, who've messed up their lives and endured years of misery with no clear way out -- that kind of thing is not solvable by changing schools or finding a new boyfriend.

It's sad when teenagers kill themselves for reasons that can be overcome with time and a change in peers. It's one of the most difficult times in a person's life, they have little freedom. I'm glad there is help available to them in the form of someone to listen to their problems.

But my feeling is that having a listenger only goes so far. Do you get upbeat positivity on the other end by a volunteer spouting psychological BS, or do you get real help? I've never sought help, so I could be wrong in my impressions. If you went to a psych ward, you might be commited for awhile and given therapy and prescription drugs but is the end result much more than a bill for some godawful amount of money shortly thereafter? It'd be nice if people could help one another more, like real help I mean, but forging those connections and friends is difficult and requires genuine caring.

 

[Emmy]

I cannot help but feel this is an add for another website. However, I can let that slide. Maybe I will even check out this befrienders website.

Anyway, when I see stuff like this it angers me. It makes me want to commit suicide just to smite you. I do not know what else to say. Yes this female could have been helped down the road to recovery. However, who is To say that road will ever end? Will she actually reach that place know as recovery? This is not something anyone actually thinks about. All they think about Just how ******* tragic it is that someone does not want to live.

Let me spell it out for you, using myself as an example. I have... well no one to support me through this. When I really look at it. I do not count my family. Since my family is obligated to give a honeysuckle. I do not count them since they could have cared less when I was a C student and depressed. My roommate, well he does not really know how to deal with this stuff and would distance himself from me. Finally the only friend I have sees herself as a detriment to my life. So once I start really getting help she is gone. Basically I am on my own. The suffering I have read about people going through to get better makes it all the less worth it when I have to stand firmly and only on my two feet.

Here is something you won't hear very often. I regret not killing myself 3 years ago. A year ago you would not have heard me say this. However, now I regret it. If given the chance to go back in time and kill myself 3 years ago I would do it without a moments hesitation. Because the pain of having found happiness and then losing it is far greater than the pain I experienced when I had never been happy. I do not want to be happy again because I know that if I lose that happiness things will be even worse.

I don't know, I often times just get angry to see stuff like this. However, the only reason there is a story on this girl is because she is young. If I killed myself I would just be another statistic. People who have never struggled to make friends or lovers can never understand. They have always had others to rely on. I would give anything to put a person in my shoes and see how long They want to keep living.

I 110% agree with everything you just said.

"Don't kill yourself.. it'll get better" that attitude most websites and people have is so outrageously ignorant & almost oblivious to any problem the person is facing.
What happens if it doesn't get better, end up fighting and striving to have a better future for a few horrific years of anger & sadness, end result turns out it didn't get better, maybe briefly, but long term it is progressively worse & most certaintly better to of died beforehand without knowing the immense suffering your life would undergo in the future.

I wouldn't say i regret not killing myself in june last year but if given a crystal ball to see the following year & then be given a choice, i'd a been quicker to commit to suicide.

Couldn't have said it better than the quoted user's post.

 

[Badjedidude]

That girl was stupid to kill herself.

What a waste.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

WHAT THE fresia...? SOKE PEOPLE CNNOT Live??... sh is cue;..., but seruouulsy... threr eare are some peop;e jw cnannot just ummm... cnannot see hte key...

 

[Sean]

Anyway, when I see stuff like this it angers me. It makes me want to commit suicide just to smite you. I do not know what else to say. Yes this female could have been helped down the road to recovery. However, who is To say that road will ever end? Will she actually reach that place know as recovery? This is not something anyone actually thinks about. All they think about Just how ******* tragic it is that someone does not want to live.

Never heard somebody actually encourage suicide but you are completely right.

I hate people who judge people who've taken their live. (no)

 

[Disrobed]

I've had the overwhelming desire to kill myself for years now and have made many attempts. When I say attempts i DO NOT mean just "begging for help", but actually wishing to die, but sadly life is much harder to extinguish than most people will ever know.
I've swallowed poisons before and at 19 I tried arsenic which caused extreme pain in my chest and vomiting so violent I cannot describe it. I spent a month in th hospital and went through months of 'counseling" which was little more than people just trying to make me feel inferior and stupid.
There really isn't always a solution. Life doesn't always get better and people don't just become more caring and less cruel because you decide to NOT die. That's a stinking myth.
Here I am at 51 and the thought of suicide has plagued me nearly my entire 51 years. Rare is the week that goes by where I don't think of another way to die, but after so many years, so much poverty and far to many let downs and disappointments my desire to end this life is stronger now than at any time I remember.
My health is failing, I live in poverty and live with the constant fear of arrest for crimes that were recently not really crimes that would put anyone in jail, but now nearly anything 'undesirable' is now a jail-able offense. Being poor is a crime anymore even though nobody wants to admit it. Your chances of getting a long prison sentence is MUCH MUCH higher if you live in poverty and NOT because of the cost of lawyers, but because that's just the way our "criminal JUST US system" works. The rich walk and the poor do time and once released the rules for staying out get even tougher because once convicted you never really serve your time. Your time is a life long sentence even if it's just a short stint.
I live in constant pain now and live alone in a shed with no running water other than a garden hose and have lived this way now for over 5 years. I have no source of income and cannot get one and no longer have any desire to keep going on with this utterly useless life of mine so what's so god-damned special about life anyway? I've done 51 years so far and it stinks just as much as it ever did except worse now so what do we really have to look forward to? Someone changing my diapers someday?
I'm very tempted to swallow yet more poison except the thought of the pain I know that will accompany it keeps me alive. Other than that I have no reason..
Perhaps the teenage girl did have a reason, but a 51 year old man in bad health? None at all.

 

[eris]

I once called the Suicide Hotline and got a recorded message telling me to call tomorrow.

im NOT joking

I decided to go to the hospital instead. I wasnt thinking about it anymore, I was planning it.

Please, anyone who reads this and feels like they are going to kill themselves go to the hospital. If you need someone to talk you through it just send me a PM

 

[QuietGuy]

.
AFrozenSoul, JamaisVu, Emmy, Disrobed -- please take the time to read this, it's very important.


Before I reply individually, I want to say something general about the common belief (when feeling suicidal) that nobody in the world cares about you, or would care if you killed yourself. You're wrong. I care about you. I don't know you, but nevertheless I care deeply about you. If you didn't live so far away from me, I would honestly come round to your house right now and be your friend, sit by your side, put my arm round you, and listen with a compassionate heart while you pour out your pain. And I'm sure many other guys on this forum would do the same. We care about all our fellow human beings, including you.

Yes this female could have been helped down the road to recovery. However, who is To say that road will ever end? Will she actually reach that place know as recovery? This is not something anyone actually thinks about.

No road in life ever has an end. Life is a continuous journey. There is no magic place at the end of the rainbow where everything is perfect, no "place known as recovery". What's important is the direction in which we choose to walk. We can choose to allow ourselves to walk the easy road towards darkness, despair, hopelessness. Or we can make the hard choice and crawl along the difficult road towards light and hope. I'm reminded of this quote (but not in a religious sense):

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. (source)

The flow of the universe is towards chaos and destruction (it's known as entropy). So when we choose to travel in the opposite direction, towards order and construction, we're going against the flow of the universe, and we encounter constant resistance at every step. But the wonderful thing about the human spirit is we have a deep primitive fundamental drive to fight hard against that resistance and make progress, construct order out of chaos, ignite a fire in the darkness.

I have... well no one to support me through this. [...] Basically I am on my own.

You're wrong. I'm here to support you through this. And many other people here are here for you too. OK, we're not with you in person, but we're with you in spirit.

I don't know, I often times just get angry to see stuff like this. However, the only reason there is a story on this girl is because she is young. If I killed myself I would just be another statistic.

I don't so much feel angry about these kinds of stories, but...exasperated. I echo your sentiments, basically. For the majority of people (who are not pretty teenage girls), they are just a statistic. Nobody reports on the lives of people who suffer far more than a breakup and being unpopular.

The preferences of the media, what stories they choose to report etc, has absolutely nothing to do with the value and worth of each individual. Yes, the media chose to report this particular story because it features a pretty young girl, which makes people want to read it. If it had featured an ugly old man, it wouldn't have attracted as big an audience. That's the media for you, but that's completely irrelevant.

People who have never struggled to make friends or lovers can never understand.

But we understand. I've struggled throughout my life to make genuine friends, and I would give anything to have a lover. OK, my situation is not as bad as yours, but there are others here who understand precisely how you feel because they're in the same (or worse) situation. You're not alone.

The young woman has every reason to be sad given her social problems, but do most suicides really occur over teen melodrama? What about the people with health problems, psychological disorders, friendless and useless, broke and unsuccessful, who've messed up their lives and endured years of misery with no clear way out -- that kind of thing is not solvable by changing schools or finding a new boyfriend.

No, of course it isn't. Her situation was sad, but as you say, there are much much worse situations that people find themselves in.

It'd be nice if people could help one another more, like real help I mean, but forging those connections and friends is difficult and requires genuine caring.

It's my impression that this forum is overflowing with genuine care and love for our fellow human beings.

"Don't kill yourself.. it'll get better" that attitude most websites and people have is so outrageously ignorant & almost oblivious to any problem the person is facing.
What happens if it doesn't get better, end up fighting and striving to have a better future for a few horrific years of anger & sadness, end result turns out it didn't get better, maybe briefly, but long term it is progressively worse & most certaintly better to of died beforehand without knowing the immense suffering your life would undergo in the future.

I partly agree with your post Emmy. No, of course a person's problems are not guaranteed to get better. This kind of false optimism featured on some anti-suicide websites does more harm than good. But you don't know what the future holds. Many people have persevered through the suicidal periods of their life, when things really did seem absolutely hopeless, and they are now making genuine progress. For example, Jesse went through some horrific experiences, and once attempted to commit suicide (see this post for his story). Fortunately, his attempt failed, and he's now making good progress.

That girl was stupid to kill herself.

"Stupid" is not the word I'd choose. She may have only been 15, but that doesn't make her pain any less intense. When I was about 16 or 17, I suffered from bullying and horrific emotional pain. In my bedroom, I would often screw up my eyes, clench my teeth, find something metal and sharp, and repeatedly and forcefully scar my upper arm with it. This intense physical pain allowed me to release my emotional pain. The scars looked terrible, which is why I made them on my upper arm, so no-one would see them. So, I have some idea of how that poor girl felt. I don't believe her suicide was stupid at all.

I spent a month in th hospital and went through months of 'counseling" which was little more than people just trying to make me feel inferior and stupid.

That kind of so-called "counseling" really infuriates me. It's completely useless, and does more harm than good. I'm so sorry you had to endure that bullshit after your suicide attempt.

I live in constant pain now and live alone in a shed with no running water other than a garden hose and have lived this way now for over 5 years. I have no source of income and cannot get one and no longer have any desire to keep going on with this utterly useless life of mine

The only thing that can help you is genuine care, love and support from your fellow human beings, which is why I'm so glad you're here on this site, because that is exactly what you'll find here, my friend. I'll repeat what I said earlier. I don't know you, but nevertheless I care deeply about you. If I knew where you live, I would honestly come round to your house right now and be your friend, sit by your side, put my arm round you, and listen with a compassionate heart while you pour out your pain. And I'm sure many other guys on this forum would do the same.

 

[JamaisVu]

You're wrong. I care about you. I don't know you, but nevertheless I care deeply about you. If you didn't live so far away from me, I would honestly come round to your house right now and be your friend, sit by your side, put my arm round you, and listen with a compassionate heart while you pour out your pain.

That's very kind of you, but that's my point -- you can listen at a distance but sometimes people need more than that. People often need concrete help.

Can you provide someone with a job? Could you be their reference on an application for housing or employment? Can you fix their health problems? Would you hop on a plane and hang out with them? Can you find someone a life companion or be one yourself? Or erase their years of bad life choices? If you got to know me, would you really even like me? Alot of people want to give assistance, but providing it is another matter. Everything I ever got in life that made my life truly better or more normal, I got because someone could give me real help. From there I am able to help myself (or at least try), but sometimes a person needs a solid starting point to make any progress.

I'm not meaning to argue with you by the way, just giving my perspective on what's missing in suicide prevention.

If you're serious about wanting to help people, I'm sure that in your town or city there are people who need it if you can find them. If you can provide solid friendship, even that would help, especially in the case of those who are mainly lonely like here on ALL. Older folks especially are in need of general companionship it seems.

The preferences of the media, what stories they choose to report etc, has absolutely nothing to do with the value and worth of each individual. Yes, the media chose to report this particular story because it features a pretty young girl, which makes people want to read it. If it had featured an ugly old man, it wouldn't have attracted as big an audience. That's the media for you, but that's completely irrelevant.

Indeed, but I was just explaining why my response to it isn't entirely positive.

It's my impression that this forum is overflowing with genuine care and love for our fellow human beings.

Heh maybe I'm on the wrong forum then, I'm a bit of a misanthrope. Ok, admittedly I think I'd like some of you based on your posts, many here seem like decent people, but I won't claim to like absolutely everyone.

I live in constant pain now and live alone in a shed with no running water other than a garden hose and have lived this way now for over 5 years. I have no source of income and cannot get one and no longer have any desire to keep going on with this utterly useless life of mine

Disrobed: Poison is brutal. I'm glad you wrote your experience though, you are more representative of the suicidal people I've seen and spoken with online. Poverty and financial woes is one of the biggest concerns people have, myself included. Once you get out of the work loop it's **** near impossible to get hired even at a minimum wage unskilled job, especially if there's alot of local competition for such jobs. If you have any sort of problems with the law, that makes it even worse. Both make it very hard to find housing also, every place I've ever lived at requires employment verification, a criminal background check, good credit history, even personal references (which I hate, and might whine about sometime later on here because it's irritating for us loners).

 

[Emmy]

I once called the Suicide Hotline and got a recorded message telling me to call tomorrow.

im NOT joking

Your shitting me?! That's *pardon my language* absolutely ******* abysmal! Call back tomorrow.. i, wow, i dunno what to say, am speechless at that. Sick to my gut that they have the nerve to leave prerecorded messages.. as though being suicidal is inconvenient to their schedule!

@ QuietGuy

That's very sweet, it is, kind & what not and am not intentionally trying to sound like an ungrateful fuckrag, appreciate the sentiment i do. But, let's face it, PC shuts off & memory forgets the words & how much can online really help. Said you'd hug and stuff but i don't see you here, sure is nice to read but doesn't really solve anything because the empty promises go unfulfilled because this conversation isn't happening at my house.
I'm not meaning to urinate on the sincerity, am not, it just i dunno, i get a little wound up when that comes my way because we can all promise here because it's not in our homes.
Like, you can say you'd hug & hold and be there etc
But that's not the case, honest am not trying crush the sincerity it just it's kinda weak arguement.
"If i was there i'd hug you better".. K.. fair enough, but you aren't so.. what gets achieved?

I think is nice you want to help, really i do, but have to remember how impactful an actual hug is in comparison to someone typing *hugs* on their keyboards.
I not moaning or anything, am just saying that some of the things you said are sorta ineffective to the anti-suicide arguement because most are sorta standard "Your not alone, i'm here" etc.. when, in actuality, you aren't.. so, i think that type of "i don't know you but i care about you" mentality isn't really going to work.

But like said, am not trying to urinate on the uplifting attempted mojo vibe, am just saying that sometimes that advice isn't the best.
Can only speak for myself, but find it a bit crude & agitating because they're flippant remarks that carry no weight due to the fact the aforementioned promises will be unfulfilled for one reason or another, this case being distance.

Sos, am not crapping on it, just solves nothing to be honest. ^^

 

[QuietGuy]

JamaisVu, Emmy -- thank you for your honest replies.

You're wrong. I care about you. I don't know you, but nevertheless I care deeply about you. If you didn't live so far away from me, I would honestly come round to your house right now and be your friend, sit by your side, put my arm round you, and listen with a compassionate heart while you pour out your pain.

That's very kind of you, but that's my point -- you can listen at a distance but sometimes people need more than that. People often need concrete help.

Can you provide someone with a job? Could you be their reference on an application for housing or employment? Can you fix their health problems? Would you hop on a plane and hang out with them? Can you find someone a life companion or be one yourself? Or erase their years of bad life choices? If you got to know me, would you really even like me? Alot of people want to give assistance, but providing it is another matter.

You're absolutely right, there are many important and difficult things that must be done to genuinely help someone through a suicidal time of their life. All I'm saying is that the fundamental starting point is for them to know that there are people in this world who really do care about them, and I'm one of those people.

If you're serious about wanting to help people, I'm sure that in your town or city there are people who need it if you can find them.

Yes, I really am serious about wanting to help people. This site is truly wonderful, but the only frustrating problem with online forums is that we're (usually) so far away from each other.

As it happens, there's a branch of the Samaritans very near where I work. I think I might go along and visit them tomorrow lunchtime, and find out what's involved in volunteering for them.

Said you'd hug and stuff but i don't see you here, sure is nice to read but doesn't really solve anything because the empty promises go unfulfilled because this conversation isn't happening at my house. [...] I think is nice you want to help, really i do, but have to remember how impactful an actual hug is in comparison to someone typing *hugs* on their keyboards. [...] Can only speak for myself, but find it a bit crude & agitating because they're flippant remarks that carry no weight due to the fact the aforementioned promises will be unfulfilled for one reason or another, this case being distance.

You're right, just saying (((hugs))) is really not the same as a genuine hug. Nevertheless, I'm completely sincere in my desire to actually help people, not just sit here typing away on my keyboard.

Emmy, I see from your profile that you're only about 110 miles away from me. That's only about 2h15m for me by train. Please PM me if you'd like to meet up one weekend. I'm being serious here. I really do want to help people like you. I would like to actually be with you, sit next to you, put my arm round you, be a shoulder for you to actually cry on. JamaisVu, AFrozenSoul, Disrobed, I'm sorry we don't live in the same country, otherwise I would love to meet up with you too.

I feel my heart overflowing with compassion for all of humanity's suffering, and I feel it's really starting to motivate me to actually do something significant to help (like volunteering for the Samaritans). Since joining this forum a couple of months ago, I've begun to realise the unseen enormity of humanity's suffering. It truly saddens me, and I want to do something to actually help.

 

[eris]

I once called the Suicide Hotline and got a recorded message telling me to call tomorrow.

im NOT joking

Your shitting me?! That's *pardon my language* absolutely ******* abysmal! Call back tomorrow.. i, wow, i dunno what to say, am speechless at that. Sick to my gut that they have the nerve to leave prerecorded messages.. as though being suicidal is inconvenient to their schedule!

I am DEAD SERIOUS.

It's actually worse than that. The first Suicide Hotline I called told me I called the wrong one and I needed to call the one in my area and they couldnt help me (and its not like it was another state or something, just the next county over)

Then when I called the correct one I got a message saying to call back tomorrow because they are upgrading their computer systems or something. I understand that you must do that but SET SOMETHING UP SO PEOPLE CAN GET HELP ANOTHER WAY.


I actually wonder if someone who needed help got that message and felt that they really didn't deserve help and they offed themselves.

 

[Emmy]

You're right, just saying (((hugs))) is really not the same as a genuine hug. Nevertheless, I'm completely sincere in my desire to actually help people, not just sit here typing away on my keyboard.

Emmy, I see from your profile that you're only about 110 miles away from me. That's only about 2h15m for me by train. Please PM me if you'd like to meet up one weekend. I'm being serious here. I really do want to help people like you. I would like to actually be with you, sit next to you, put my arm round you, be a shoulder for you to actually cry on. JamaisVu, AFrozenSoul, Disrobed, I'm sorry we don't live in the same country, otherwise I would love to meet up with you too.

I feel my heart overflowing with compassion for all of humanity's suffering, and I feel it's really starting to motivate me to actually do something significant to help (like volunteering for the Samaritans). Since joining this forum a couple of months ago, I've begun to realise the unseen enormity of humanity's suffering. It truly saddens me, and I want to do something to actually help.

It'd be a worthwhile thing to do, if you feel you can help people & have the willingness to volunteer or do something for the betterment of someone else's life then go for it. Very good cause to aim for.

Offering come see me is very sweet too, bit intense & fast paced but sweet all the same. Thinks probably just your desire to help.

 

[QuietGuy]

It'd be a worthwhile thing to do, if you feel you can help people & have the willingness to volunteer or do something for the betterment of someone else's life then go for it. Very good cause to aim for.

Well I've found out exactly where the Samaritans office is, and I'll definitely be dropping in to see them sometime tomorrow if I have the time. I'd really like to find out more about what's involved in volunteering for them.

Offering come see me is very sweet too, bit intense & fast paced but sweet all the same. Thinks probably just your desire to help.

Hehe, yes, sorry

Didn't mean to freak you out! I do get very frustrated when I see all these dear people crying out for help on ALonelyLife, and I know I'm thousands of miles away from them and will probably never see them. So when I realise I actually do live within travelling distance of someone, it's a wonderful thought that I could actually be with them and help them in person.

 

[QuietGuy]

Today I visited the Samaritans office, and had a really good chat with one of the volunteers there. He was a very helpful guy, and took the time to answer all my main questions about volunteering. I've now signed up for the first stage of their volunteer recruitment/interview process.

You guys are probably getting a little tired of me thanking you all the time, but... before I joined ALonelyLife, I would never have considered doing this. For many years I've been thinking about how I could volunteer to help people who are suffering, but I never had sufficient motivation or courage to do anything about it. So thank you for motivating me (without realising it!)

 

[Nina]

That's great! It feels good to help others in real time and anywhere else you can. None of us know when the bottom is going to fall out of life and we'll be the ones needing the help.

 

[Electric_Fusilier]

One thing, I think, that needs to be considered if one is contemplating suicide is this: What if, after you've stepped off the top of that building and the ground is fast approaching, or the pills have worked so far into your system that you are too dazed to reach the phone, or that you've lost so much blood you are too faint to move ... what if you change your mind? What if, as deaths shadow falls upon you, you suddenly realise that you might be wrong, and that you want to live a bit more? You must be aware that there is no divorce from death. Are you REALLY so sure that you want to end your life?

No doubt?

Not even an iota?

You know, one thing I remember about the 7/7 bombings in London:a report made by an eyewitness who miraculously survived one of the attacks. She - I think it was a she - reported that in just a few seconds before the event, she saw a young man begin to scream and attempt to remove his backpack. She doesn't remember what happened after that. Studying photographs of the suspected bombers later, she saw that one of them was the young man who had began to scream and attempt to remove his backpack just seconds before the incident.

True, the young man's motives were no doubt substantially different from those that come from feelings of despair and hopelessness that otherwise characterise suicide. And yet for all his apparent conviction, all his apparent certainty that this would proffer paradise upon him ... in the end, the doubts won out. Too late for him. (and, sadly, many others as well)

His last, panicked thoughts were that he didn't want to die. When it came down to it ... he just didn't want to die. But of course, we are all going to die at some point. I, however, would prefer it if I did not have to face my death knowing that it would have been very easy for me to continue living a little while longer. In fact, I would HATE to die that way. I could think of nothing worse.

Personally, I would rather spend the remainder of my life under a rock than commit suicide, if I should ever reach such a terribly low point.