W
wolfshadow
Guest
I've been spending far too much time on the internet and my brain is mush, paper mache, cooked porridige, brylcream, scrambled eggs, liver pate, tomato puree, mayonnaise, liquid tarmac, woodchippings, chicken broth.....I think I've made my point.
It's very hard making new friends when you don't know how to approach people. If you try too hard, some sense desperation and retreat, too little and you risk not being noticed at all, and whilst you are thinking about this you have no time to be yourself - the laughter, the joy, the worth of moment itself, gets lost between the cracks.
Ever been in a queue and found yourself observing everyone else and then realising finally that you are the only member who is doing that? That's the closest I can come to explaining who or what I am. No matter how hard I watch, I just don't get you (people in general). I can empathize with emotion but I can't grasp what it is you have to do or how you must behave to appeal to others. I've tried so many tactics but to no avail, and to be honest I've reached an age where I'm tired of taking such convoluted measures. Because of my situation and lack of social talent, I always get this chilling feeling that others imagine that I am hunting for a 'new best friend' to confide in. This isn't so, the source of consternation and bitterness emerges from the fact that I don't know how to form casual bonds with people. I've come to understand that it doesn't mean the world hates me but oh lordy what I wouldn't give to have a just a few more socialite chomosones!!
At some point though you have to let go. The sustained anguish of loneliness can reach into the core of a person much like greed, and drag something altogether unpleasent from within. Nothing is worth that.
That's all folks, my rant is over perhaps it's just more confuson but I'm happier now I've said it. I'll be back if I have something of genuine value to add to the site but it's time for me to go away for now.
It's very hard making new friends when you don't know how to approach people. If you try too hard, some sense desperation and retreat, too little and you risk not being noticed at all, and whilst you are thinking about this you have no time to be yourself - the laughter, the joy, the worth of moment itself, gets lost between the cracks.
Ever been in a queue and found yourself observing everyone else and then realising finally that you are the only member who is doing that? That's the closest I can come to explaining who or what I am. No matter how hard I watch, I just don't get you (people in general). I can empathize with emotion but I can't grasp what it is you have to do or how you must behave to appeal to others. I've tried so many tactics but to no avail, and to be honest I've reached an age where I'm tired of taking such convoluted measures. Because of my situation and lack of social talent, I always get this chilling feeling that others imagine that I am hunting for a 'new best friend' to confide in. This isn't so, the source of consternation and bitterness emerges from the fact that I don't know how to form casual bonds with people. I've come to understand that it doesn't mean the world hates me but oh lordy what I wouldn't give to have a just a few more socialite chomosones!!
At some point though you have to let go. The sustained anguish of loneliness can reach into the core of a person much like greed, and drag something altogether unpleasent from within. Nothing is worth that.
That's all folks, my rant is over perhaps it's just more confuson but I'm happier now I've said it. I'll be back if I have something of genuine value to add to the site but it's time for me to go away for now.