Thinking of leaving my girlfriend

[BadGuy]

Maybe she hopes you leave

 

[TheRealCallie]

Maybe she hopes you leave

 

[kaetic]

Maybe she hopes you leave

Probably isn't even watching TV, texting with her friends about the guy that keeps hanging out on her couch getting drunk nightly. 

"How the heck am I supposed to bring a guy back here with this guy drunk on my couch..."

 

[Naizo]

Lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

[Puddled Duck]

Accept it guys/girls

• Accept any sex outside of marriage is sexual immorality. You don’t love these people you and end up in bed with on the third date, you can only ever love your husband/wives and I’m not even sure about that. Not some bloody idiot you met 6 months ago and fell ‘in love’ with.

• Accept marriage is a sexual union, at its heart that’s all it is. Love?, no, marriage just stops you shagging prostitute or something.

• and accept marriage is institutionalised rape!, that’s all it is, that’s all the bible sees it has.

Accept that, and you’ll give up hope in relation to love, and some bloody woman you met 2 years ago that you’ll never forget, and well, think to yourself, well if that’s the way it is, go out and shag a crack whore or something.

 

[Puddled Duck]

Well anyway I digress......

Where was I?.......

Well I’m lying there on the sofa at 2 am, pissed on a bottle vodka, watching BBC News 24..

And she’s in the bedroom, with a portable bloody portable TV and sky’s magic eye.

The remote control, is there on the floor?, and it’s calling to me, it’s saying ‘Michael!, Michael!, you know what you’ve got to do!......’

 

[AmyTheTemperamental]

I'm happy to hear that you got out of bed.

 

[Puddled Duck]

I'm happy to hear that you got out of bed.

Rare occasion, usually only Christmas’s.

But this is story from years gone by when I lived in Newark, and Rosie Leicester.

But she still has it, she still has the portable TV and sky’s magic eye.

And every time I see it, it sends a shudder down my spine.....

 

[BadGuy]

Who waits to the 3rd date ?

 

[Puddled Duck]

Who waits to the 3rd date ?

How I forgot, you lot fall in love within 10 minutes of meeting someone.

Well that’s justification for sex on the first date, because you’re in love.

Actually by the end of third date you’ve probably split up.

Then you spend next 3 years on here telling everyone how you can’t get over this chap/woman.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Says the guy who lusts after his own step daughter and whines about how he can't have wifey's money and the girlfriend only watching TV.....

 

[Puddled Duck]

Says the guy who lusts after his own step daughter and whines about how he can't have wifey's money and the girlfriend only watching TV.....

I don’t lust after my own step daughter, no one likes lusting after my step daughter, and she is a really!, really! attractive girl, some people say stunning!. But she’s in the police, detective chief constable or something now. Don’t think she can even get a boyfriend for love nor money.

The only people who will lust after her are the police, but she won’t go near them with a bargepole.

She’s the black girl in the photo/newspaper (Georgie Ball):

http://legacy.newarkadvertiser.co.uk/articles/news/Praised-for-good-policing

Even if I did, not that I ever would, there is absolutely no biological relationship between my wife and step daughter, she’s a black girl, found her knocking about in Sierra Leone or somewhere when she was three.

If I want my wife’s money, I’ll have it. Just not sure I want it.

As far as Rosie and the magic eye, that’s completely unacceptable.

 

[BadGuy]

I am sure she will be happy that you linked her photo here

Where is the kick in the stones emoji when you need it ?

 

[TheRealCallie]

---

I'm sure there's better, but why waste the good ones. lol

 

[Puddled Duck]

I am sure she will be happy that you linked her photo here

Where is the kick in the stones emoji when you need it ?

She’ll have nightmares about that one, forget the murders, thieves and rapists she has to deal with.

It’s a news paper article, if she doesn’t like having her photo linked, well don’t appear in a bloody newspaper article.

What’s she going to do if she doesn’t like it, arrest me?. I can see the headline now ‘police woman swoops on her stepdad, for saying she was the beautiful woman in the world and posting an article from a Newspaper where she was praised for good policing’, personally can’t see me doing 10 years for honeysuckle!.

 

[Puddled Duck]

Look everyone Jeremy Corbin.......

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/82493...referendum-despite-hating-the-eu-for-decades/

I don’t think Jeremy Corbin will be at all happy i’ve linked his photo to here. Possibly livid.

But if no one tells him, so keep shush, it might just go unnoticed.

 

[BadGuy]

I am sure she will be happy that you linked her photo here

Where is the kick in the stones emoji when you need it ?

She’ll have nightmares about that one, forget the murders, thieves and rapists she has to deal with.

It’s a news paper article, if she doesn’t like having her photo linked, well don’t appear in a bloody newspaper article.

What’s she going to do if she doesn’t like it, arrest me?

I was thinking more the embarrassment of being connected to you in any way

She is probably ok with criminals

 

[Puddled Duck]

I am sure she will be happy that you linked her photo here

Where is the kick in the stones emoji when you need it ?

She’ll have nightmares about that one, forget the murders, thieves and rapists she has to deal with.

It’s a news paper article, if she doesn’t like having her photo linked, well don’t appear in a bloody newspaper article.

What’s she going to do if she doesn’t like it, arrest me?

I was thinking more the embarrassment of being connected to you in any way

She’s my step daughter, she should have though about when I bloody married her Mom.

Bit late now.

 

[Puddled Duck]

She is probably ok with criminals

She got on fine with her Mom and one of her brothers (didn’t the other one he was at university.)

 

[Puddled Duck]

Talking about the police, I had run in with the Police when I was young.

Could have been serious. Very serious!

I was in lovers lane, in my car, with my first girlfriend.

It was late at night.

I was in the front seat reading a computer magazine.

My girlfriend was in the passenger seat knitting a jumper.

A police car pulled up to me, policeman got out, tapped on my window.

Said to me ‘what’s going on here son!’

I said ‘I’m sitting in car late at night, in lovers lane, with my girlfriend and for last 30 minutes since we arrived I’ve been reading a computer magazine and she’s been knitting a jumper.’

The officer said to me ‘how old are you Son?’

So I told him ‘I’m 21’

Then he said to me ‘and how olds your girlfriend?.

So I looked at my watch and told him, I said ‘well in 10 minutes she’s going to be 16’