Ghostwriter
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- Joined
- Jul 5, 2012
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Not sure if posting in right forum or just whacked out.
Anyway, my life is pretty much in shambles right now. Ever hear of a saying, Every cloud has a silver lining? Bullshit.
My cloud, if it ever had a lining, would be lined with crap. So here's my venting thread.
I had an average childhood, nothing too great, but nothing horrible either. Got ass-beatings when I deserved them, so I was sure to be in line all the time. Not some crying, annoying brat that I see in the supermarkets these days bullshitting about the newest electronics that they can't get. No sir.
All was fine and dandy, right? Wrong.
My dad (if I can even call him that anymore) just left from my life. Abruptly, snap, just like that. Granted, I was young at that time so I didn't know what was going on but apparently, my mom had been having an affair without my dad knowing. You can understand the heartbreak he must've felt. So he just packed and left, no official divorce, nothing. I don't blame him. My mother, a frequent smoker and drinker, was (I suspect) kept in line by my father. As soon as he left she beat me, hurled profanities across the room at me, nitpicked everything that I did and made the 8 year old me live in hell. Eventually, I do think that she felt some shame in her actions, as she gave me up to my grand-parents. Sure they were boring as hell, but at least they showed me some acts of kindness. I never heard from my mom again. No "Happy Birthday!", no "How are you?" nothing. It was fine with me. In high-school I excelled at sports but nothing else. I quickly became known as the typical dumb athlete. Even though I was on most of the sports teams, I was never popular. Probably because I never had any sense of social etiquette, I think. I thought I was ugly, a loser, everything. When you're a young teenager, with all the hormones running through your body, I guess we tend to jump to conclusions pretty quickly. Truth was, I think that I was just, well, alien to most other kids in my school for anyone to befriend me. I was sickly thin, using all my allowance to dye my hair white, wore hand-me downs, rode a skateboard everywhere, had dark circles under my eyes frequently and already discovering my addiction - wandering the streets. The only time anyone complimented me in high-school was on Valentines Day in Grade 11. I still look back on that day and mentally smack myself. So stupid. The conversation went something like this, to the best of my m
Anyway, my life is pretty much in shambles right now. Ever hear of a saying, Every cloud has a silver lining? Bullshit.
My cloud, if it ever had a lining, would be lined with crap. So here's my venting thread.
I had an average childhood, nothing too great, but nothing horrible either. Got ass-beatings when I deserved them, so I was sure to be in line all the time. Not some crying, annoying brat that I see in the supermarkets these days bullshitting about the newest electronics that they can't get. No sir.
All was fine and dandy, right? Wrong.
My dad (if I can even call him that anymore) just left from my life. Abruptly, snap, just like that. Granted, I was young at that time so I didn't know what was going on but apparently, my mom had been having an affair without my dad knowing. You can understand the heartbreak he must've felt. So he just packed and left, no official divorce, nothing. I don't blame him. My mother, a frequent smoker and drinker, was (I suspect) kept in line by my father. As soon as he left she beat me, hurled profanities across the room at me, nitpicked everything that I did and made the 8 year old me live in hell. Eventually, I do think that she felt some shame in her actions, as she gave me up to my grand-parents. Sure they were boring as hell, but at least they showed me some acts of kindness. I never heard from my mom again. No "Happy Birthday!", no "How are you?" nothing. It was fine with me. In high-school I excelled at sports but nothing else. I quickly became known as the typical dumb athlete. Even though I was on most of the sports teams, I was never popular. Probably because I never had any sense of social etiquette, I think. I thought I was ugly, a loser, everything. When you're a young teenager, with all the hormones running through your body, I guess we tend to jump to conclusions pretty quickly. Truth was, I think that I was just, well, alien to most other kids in my school for anyone to befriend me. I was sickly thin, using all my allowance to dye my hair white, wore hand-me downs, rode a skateboard everywhere, had dark circles under my eyes frequently and already discovering my addiction - wandering the streets. The only time anyone complimented me in high-school was on Valentines Day in Grade 11. I still look back on that day and mentally smack myself. So stupid. The conversation went something like this, to the best of my m
