trying to decipher this body language....

[SighX99]

so i've been doing yoga for a couple of months now, i'm now "a regular" to my yoga place. I rarely talk to people tho in my yoga program, partly because im shy and theres really nothing to talk about, or to start a conversation without sounding like a sleazy ass. btw, please, give me suggestions on how to start a conversation at a yoga place.


anyways, ive been doing yoga on a certain night on a certain day of the week. the people that come to this class are pretty consistent, pretty and consistent that is... anyways. theres this girl, everytime i walk into the class room and prepare my stuff, right when i walked into the room she looks at me. everytime i walk into the room, she looks at me eyes to eyes, without smiles or anything else, then turns away. or while im doing yoga, she looks at me... all the time... she knows i was looking too(maybe not, i really dont know, but she had no smiles or anything, just eye contact. and its pretty consistent too, everytime i go to that particular class, she looks at me...

i might be looking too deep into this, but it kinda bugs me, i want to know why she does that. and how i can deal with this, am i so ugly that she has to stare? should i ignore or talk to her? if so, how the hell do i start? thats the one thing, i cant start a conversation....

please help, anything would be appreciated.

 

[Brian]

Wow Sigh, this is the most positive thing I've ever heard you say. I don't mean that mockingly, I'm happy that you've tried this.

I recently started doing Yoga once a week as well, as part of a larger daily workout regimen. I hope you find it as refreshing and challenging as I do.

i might be looking too deep into this, but it kinda bugs me, i want to know why she does that.

Well, it's very common for people to look at somebody entering a room. Watch her and see if she looks at others in the same manner. Don't be obvious about the watching, though.

If this seems somewhat exclusive to you, examine the other mid-class glances you spoke of. Is she noticing you watching her in any way? Is it out of her way to glance at you? Stop watching her for a day or two, see if she still does it.

and how i can deal with this, am i so ugly that she has to stare?

Is this a group of adults? If so, then not likely, especially considering the usual Yoga demographic.

I've come to recognize myself as someone who sits on the dimensional border between the world of the anxious, depressed, and secluded and the 'normal' world, as I literally dwell in both from day to day. I can safely say that adult women, by and large, do not do this sort of thing that you are concerned about.

She's either just looking at you because you're there, looking because she feels -you- looking, or she finds you attractive. If she finds you attractive or otherwise curious, she is likely more reserved and potentially shy.

The only way to find out is to talk to her. She might actually be waiting for you to.

should i ignore or talk to her? if so, how the hell do i start? thats the one thing, i cant start a conversation....

please help, anything would be appreciated.

Well, let me say that at a 'couple of months', it is not too late for you to establish yourself socially in the class. But you will need to expand your presence. Find ways to relate to them in your mannerisms, and don't be so afraid to approach her or other class mates.

Don't be scared of making things 'awkward', either, especially if it's a larger class. Even if things don't go as planned, you can remain in the class and not die of shame as long as you can accept the event and move on. I've done this many times. It's hard, it's uncomfortable, but all things come to pass.

A good way to approach her:

"Hey, what's your name? I just see you all the time and haven't really said hi."

Shake hands. Not like an aggressive shake, just a moderate squeeze and sort of a 'bounce'. Smile and be happy, but not "OH WOW IM TALKING TO A GURL" happy. They pick up on that. Then just try and talk. Even if you don't woo her in the end or get a friend, you get used to talking to people, and that's valuable to learn from. But see what she does and what she's all about; after a while, see if she wants to go for coffee or a smoothie.

It's important above any of this to consider your presence in the class. Are you the only male? You will likely have to spend some more time in the class, and demonstrate a genuine interest in Yoga, to convince the females that you aren't just a perv there to oggle them. Sadly that happens quite frequently.

 

[Jicky]

Or you could say " is there something you wanted to say to me, as I've seen you looking at me from time to time". Ice breaker and it lets that person know that you know she's been staring. It will either start something(conversation) or stop the staring.