I think it must be both, self-perceived and true ugliness. Not that there is some artificial black line drawn where being on one side affronts all the benefits of being attractive and being on the other hinders the person with all the detriments of being unattractive or ugly. I've read posts on this we forum and others about people who are in their 40s who have never had a date or any contact with the opposite sex other than seeing they exist. Some of that may be self-perceived, but I think that perception may harden as someone is rejected on a consistent and routine basis over and over and over again. Also, ugly is a harsh word to use even though many use it to describe themselves. I see it as people not being up to par with the media stereotypes of what a "real" partner should be. The false feeling that oneself is unattractive may not be anymore detrimental to someones mental well being than those who believe they are more attractive than they truly are. I know I've been told in the past "you're not that good looking", so apparently I was acting in a manner not consistent with how some women believe an adult male should act.
