Hey everyone! I'm 21 (male) and lately I've been feeling sort of... boxed in. Two years ago I moved away from my home town to go to a pretty **** good university, but sometimes I feel that all I achieved was cutting myself off from my friends. I have always been a very social person, I was quite popular in high school and I have made a few mates at uni, but no one I feel comfortable really opening up to.
I had a few very good friends back home, 5 guys with whom I've been in a band for 5 years. I guess we were alright, playing to crowds of hundreds, meeting interesting people, making lots of friends. But since everyone went to uni the band was neglected and now we do virtually nothing, except sell merch to some "hardcore fans" who are still interested. And ever since we don't play gigs I'm cut off from that world too.
Perhaps I should mention some other contributing factors for my loneliness. First off -and I think this is where I really frakked myself over- I don't have a facebook. When it got popular I just kept putting off joining it, and I for a while, I was just fine without it. But now everyone (at least people my age) basically live their lives through it. And while I do feel like facebook has brought us closer to some Orwellian nightmare, and I may even call young people's activities on it pathetic, but maybe I am the one who is pathetic, being cut off from the rest. I don't know, but my social life certainly has suffered.
Second thing: I am bisexual. I've known this ever since my early teenage years, but have never been intimate with guys before. I don't make a big deal about my sexuality and my romantic interests, but I live in a very conservative country where rampant homophobia and racism is the norm. While I don't plan on ever coming out to my family (I just don't see the point, and I don't want to make them disappointed), I feel like I am mature enough to explore the other side of my sexuality, and to come out to some close friends that I trust.
Problem is, I don't see any people here that I can really trust and my old friends are slipping away so quickly. Also, as I mentioned, it really is difficult to date people with the same sex here, and while I am happy with the company of girls and the occasional girlfriend, I feel like I'm missing out, that I am betraying the person that I *could* be if I could just make that leap.
So in the end I just feel that everything is spiraling out of control, and I see no way out, except to maybe move to places like the UK, Sweden or Canada where I could start over, but I realise that in itself would be quite a challenge. What do you guys think? What would you do?
PS I realise I am rambling on but this really had to come out . Thanks to anyone who sat through this and took the time to respond!
I had a few very good friends back home, 5 guys with whom I've been in a band for 5 years. I guess we were alright, playing to crowds of hundreds, meeting interesting people, making lots of friends. But since everyone went to uni the band was neglected and now we do virtually nothing, except sell merch to some "hardcore fans" who are still interested. And ever since we don't play gigs I'm cut off from that world too.
Perhaps I should mention some other contributing factors for my loneliness. First off -and I think this is where I really frakked myself over- I don't have a facebook. When it got popular I just kept putting off joining it, and I for a while, I was just fine without it. But now everyone (at least people my age) basically live their lives through it. And while I do feel like facebook has brought us closer to some Orwellian nightmare, and I may even call young people's activities on it pathetic, but maybe I am the one who is pathetic, being cut off from the rest. I don't know, but my social life certainly has suffered.
Second thing: I am bisexual. I've known this ever since my early teenage years, but have never been intimate with guys before. I don't make a big deal about my sexuality and my romantic interests, but I live in a very conservative country where rampant homophobia and racism is the norm. While I don't plan on ever coming out to my family (I just don't see the point, and I don't want to make them disappointed), I feel like I am mature enough to explore the other side of my sexuality, and to come out to some close friends that I trust.
Problem is, I don't see any people here that I can really trust and my old friends are slipping away so quickly. Also, as I mentioned, it really is difficult to date people with the same sex here, and while I am happy with the company of girls and the occasional girlfriend, I feel like I'm missing out, that I am betraying the person that I *could* be if I could just make that leap.
So in the end I just feel that everything is spiraling out of control, and I see no way out, except to maybe move to places like the UK, Sweden or Canada where I could start over, but I realise that in itself would be quite a challenge. What do you guys think? What would you do?
PS I realise I am rambling on but this really had to come out . Thanks to anyone who sat through this and took the time to respond!
