What am I

[Chris 2]

To be honest, I don't what I am or what I have become, or my very own existence. Loneliness is a feeling every human being know off, and yet it OK to feel lonely sometime, but it is not normal to feel this lonely on an everyday basis. Let me clarify something, I guess it feel less painful when your lonely and normal, but when your not normal and lonely, it hurt. It you, it your fault for being in this place, for being lonely, even though you didn't choose this life, you still feel guilty for being in this state of emotion, this feeling of rejection, this consuming self-isolation and hatred toward yourself, while on the same time eating you up inside, making you feel so lifeless, so bitter, so restless, and sometime so emotionless as well. How could you even call yourselves normal when you can't even talk to people, can even socialize like a normal human being? Constantly you are playing your life like a game, your gambling your life away with every single moment you decide to play the waiting game. Every days, every hours, every minute, every second off your life that you don't try to talk to people, make friends, find a partner, you are losing precious moment off your life.

 

[Porman]

seriously man, what is wrong with you? You talk about yourself like your a retard, are you? Your not normal ay? What makes you any different from anyone else? nothing, other then your messed up view of yourself and the world.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I get what he's saying, and I understand it very well. No need to be harsh about it, Porman. I know very well what Chris 2 means. For example, I find myself distancing others away from me. And it's constantly. Not just this person or that person. It's basically everyone I'm pushing away. After a while, it does feel like you're wasting time, so you try to make a friend or two, but then something happens and the cycle starts again.

 

[Porman]

not meaning to sound harsh, but if you read all his previous posts you'd know what I mean

 

[Satyr]

seriously man, what is wrong with you? You talk about yourself like your a retard, are you? Your not normal ay? What makes you any different from anyone else? nothing, other then your messed up view of yourself and the world.

People with attitudes like that help cause the problem in the first place. It's a vicious circle. Feel good about yourself and you're treated as arrogant. Doubt yourself and your purpose and people tell you you're messed in the head.

Human beings are a wishy washy breed that have no clue what they want from the other human beings. Dogs might lick their genitals and drool, but at least when you make one your friend they generally stay that way for the rest of their lives. We can make no such claim.