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Doing my first outgoing handover procedure tomorrow with a really nice client. I'm not exactly nervous, nor am I worried for some reason.. which I usually would be in cases like these. Perhaps it's the fact that it's a familiar person I'll be doing this with that makes it easier.

Then again, honeysuckle can happen and I think I'm prepared for that, in case it does happen.

Then I'll likely be doing the next outgoing handover on Tuesday. My manager must really love this.
 
Thinking about my friend and hoping she pulls through so we can see that smiling face again.
 
Human interaction is transitioning from tiresome to obnoxiously pointless. Once again. Every smile is meaningless, every good deed is just business or obedience. Why I haven't just yelled "Piss off and go to hell" is a mystery to me. But it wouldn't make anything easier. A minor act of liberation is not worth the backlash. I'm used to raw deals, but I'll avoid them if I can.

Self-control is still a virtue.

*clenches fist compulsively*
 
I feel like bursting through the wall into next door, picking up that stupid peace of honeysuckle sounding synthesizer and smashing it into dust in front of whoever the fresia plays it, and screaming in their face expressing my RAGE about how ******* annoying that sounds. Then calmly walking back into my living-room amongst the rubble and broken electronics and finishing my juice.
 
I know things are not right whenever I feel the need to turn in early. It's just not me at all. I hope this passes soon cos I feel really shitty right now.
 
Feeling fed up, annoyed, sick and tired, at the end of my rope. Feeling like I need a drink. Saturday can't come soon enough.

I wanted to catch up on things tonight. Now, once again, it looks like I won't get the chance. God **** it.
 
Thinking I really want to get a lot done today. It just hope I can keep up the momentum. It feels so overwhelming. Remembering at time when everything wasn't an uphill struggle. It is so hard not to be envious of other people lately.
 
Not a good week. Not looking forward to the next 3 days even though I'm going to be busy with things I usually enjoy doing. I just want to stop. For everything to stop. But I know where that leads and I can't afford for that to happen ever again.
 

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