LeaningIntoTheMuse said:I've decided that I don't like the way I am right now. So I'm going to change. Become a better person.
Shipster0958 said:Just take everything one day at a time.
echo said:I just hope that my heart can heal and I can love again. I miss feeling in love.
EveWasFramed said:Shipster0958 said:Just take everything one day at a time.
^^ This.
echo said:At the beginning of the relationship, I couldn't contain all the love I had for him. I had so much love for him, he was my sweetheart, he made me happy and giddy, I was devoted to him, he was my everything, he was my universe. But 2 years of him constantly breaking my heart, constantly hurting me, putting me down, making me feel like a lesser person, making me feel like an even more worthless person that I already felt I was, considering I've always had low self esteem and low sense of self worth. Part of me wishes I could expose his name and photograph to everyone so that everyone can see how such a "sweet innocent" looking guy with the most gentle innocent eyes can be just as selfish and heartbreaking as the rest even if "unintentionally" as he often tells me that he's sorry for "unintentionally hurting me" yet he does it again and again and again. I really wish I could expose him so everyone can see what an ******* he really is.
I've been trying so hard to gain self esteem, to be happy with myself, to find my true potential, to be happy in my body and love myself, to feel like I have self-worth and all my boyfriend has ever done in the 2 years and 9 months we've been together is put me down and destroy me emotionally.
When it came to my self esteem and feelings of self-worth, whenever I would take one step forward, he would push me 3 steps back and break my heart, rejecting me, letting me know how unattractive and ugly I am to him, letting me know that I'm not actually important or "necessary" to him...those kinds of things really hurt one's feelings of self-worth. He still says he loves me but it's difficult for me to feel any love for him at all. I wish my heart didn't feel like a black hole because of him, I wish I could love again. I used to be pouring with love, I used to be a waterfall full of unconditional love and affection and he has made me a very jaded, angry, cold, resentful person that feels no love in my broken heart.
He thinks he's so innocent like a puppy, he truly believes he's a saint, an angel that can do no harm but no wonder no girl wanted him for 10 years even though he said he must have dated hundreds hundreds of girls and at age 32, still a virgin, I don't even want to touch him with a 10 foot pole. He doesn't deserve my love. He doesn't deserve my affection. I hope I'll be able to heal from all the heartbreak and pain he has inflicted on me. I hope my heart can heal, I hope I can feel love again. I hope he can work his issues out and treat me better or I hope someone can cherish me one day. I want to be cherished, I want someone who will inspire me to be a happier person....not hurt me and put me down and attack my already low self esteem. I hope someone can cherish me emotionally and physically, unlike my boyfriend with his fake,"I love you"'s yet he puts me down so much to the point it could be considered abusive. I don't believe him when he says that he loves me. I know that any little thing I do or say, he's just going to hurt me again because I'll never be "good enough" for him. fresia him.
I just hope that my heart can heal and I can love again. I miss feeling in love.
painter said:Everything needs balance or nothing works.
echo said:I just hope that my heart can heal and I can love again. I miss feeling in love.
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