who the heck said that loving can cost us much, but not loving costs us far more??? isn't that true of everything? here we are on the journey of life, always sitting at the station, watching all the shiney choo-choos chug on by. What the heck is wrong with us? we lose so much by not buying our ticket and (gasp), even scarier thought, just running it down, heaving ourselves onto that last box car, not knowing or caring where the heck the **** train is even going. You just GO. You just take that leap...and that's when you experience either lots of joy...or yeah, sometimes pain..but either way, you learn and you get better at the game, you develop skills, it gets easier. I dunno know about you, but I remember the agony of learning how to tie my shoelaces, took me days, I just couldn't figure out the rabbit from the tree from the hole...but I kept trying. That's the great thing about being human, we do learn, with practice, we learn.
If i were you, i'd just start heaving myself right on top of those cute little boxcars...so what if you get a few splinters or fall off the train again??? we gotta go deep into ourselves and realize we only have this one chance at life, dig deep, find our reserve of courage, look ourselves in the mirror, vow we are going to have some gosh darn faith in our selves, yeah, I can do this, I maybe won't do it perfectly, with ease or skill, but I gotta get that rabbit to go down that hole (jeesh, that actually sounds a bit more pornographic than I wanted it to)...but you get the idea.
you can't be your own worse enemy...and I think alot of us here are, we just haven't come to grips with who we are, what we are. And who is going to believe in you, cherish you if you won't believe and cherish your unique specialness. I'm gonna tell you a secret... Deirdre isn't my real name, my real name means "bright and shining light"....and my greatest happiness, my greatest joys and accomplishments came when I totally believed that, saw myself as that brilliant, luminescent thing......so sweetie, just go out there and shine. That is who we are meant to be... and sing it out, I wanna hear you, I'm gonna be listening for it: " this little light of mine, i'm gonna make it shine!"