What do you think of Chivalry or guys that are Chivalrous?

[SophiaGrace]

As long as you tell yourself that you cannot do it, your mind is your disability.

Good one, I like that. Needs to be QFT!

I tried to join the Guardian Angels a year or two ago, they told me I couldn't do rounds, and instead had to sit at mission control and listen to the walkie-talkies or go with the leader in his car on his rounds.

I took that to mean that they felt I wasn't capable...

 

[jales]

I know that I was once in a situation where I needed to defend myself against a male and I could not.

Sometimes (not always) but sometimes your body knows best. I think you should always just try as much as you can but sometimes it is unwise to try to much.

I would have been badly hurt even today if I had told myself I was strong enough to fight him. Badly hurt. Thank god I was in a public place and very near to a police station.

Always be careful about where you go. And know your physical limits. There are somethings you can not do...lol dont just jump off cliffs and hope to fly.

But to test your limits when you are not in real danger is usually a good thing. But yea like I said I was in a situation, and if I did not back down, I would have been hurt..even to today.. so dont always fight.. but dont always give up either..

It is tricky but often your body knows how far you can go. In my situation I screamed.. really loud but if I had moved too much I would have been cut.

But if you are in a situation where you can use your legs. Use them.
As far as training goes, if you can afford it then I guess you would have to hire someone to personally train you.

I dont think it is a bad thing if you end up with a guy who you feel safer around. It is good to feel safe around your guy, once you can trust him then you are fine.

I tried to join the Guardian Angels a year or two ago, they told me I couldn't do rounds, and instead had to sit at mission control and listen to the walkie-talkies or go with the leader in his car on his rounds.

I took that to mean that they felt I wasn't capable...

 

[Kenny]

I personally train the young girls in our family on self-defense and then encourage them to go further with it. They all have a good understanding of pressure points, joint locks, limb destruction, first strike, and various other methods of defending themselves, in addition to knowing where to go, how to be safe, not to be too trusting, and knowing when to run like hell. I've felt obligated to do this for a long time now because I can't stand the idea of one of them being attacked and feeling helpless. I was abused as a child, so I understand what it feels like to be helpless. If that day ever comes they will at least know how to fight and will fight whether they win or not. For me, that's a win - one that I hope never comes.

 

[jales]

also keep in mind the power of perception..
I was walking to a taxi-stand to get home one night after going to the supermarket and a vagrant started to disturb me, like he was following me and he stopped and pretended to look around whenever cars passed near then started back when there was no one... he was trying to scare me and I was scared.

Anyway I saw a guy who worked in the supermarket and the vagrant had stopped ..doing his usual thing (since someone was near). So I shouted to the guy 'henry, henry ..wait up.. let's travel home together since we live so near' The guy was confused but he stopped (I didnt really know him and his name was not henry lol).. But at that point I trusted him more than the homeless guy.

The vagrant stopped his crap as soon as he saw that the other guy knew me.. and walked in the opposite direction. I guess he was scared of the guy, but not scared enough of me.

But yea.. if you can learn to fight, learn.. but sometimes people may give you more trouble just because you look like you cant protect yourself.. and that is never good.

Anyway I told him what was going on and he saw me into a taxi..


____________

Also there was another time a guy tricked me and a friend of mine into getting stuck at night in a really strange place.. this is a long story though.. but again random guys had to help us out of that situation lol.. I guess this stuff is not as common where you live though.

 

[Kenny]

Yep.

Situational Awareness is the first priority. The goal in life is to see dangers and avoid them in the first place.

Preparedness (including knowing how to fight) is a second priority. One that should only have to be called upon if your situational awareness has failed you or if circumstances beyond your control have forced you into a dangerous situation.

So maybe it's not so much about priorities as it is staying safe is a two-pronged approach: situational awareness and preparedness.



You are a smart girl for calling out to "Henry" (lol).

I teach our girls all those same things, listen to their instincts, always be aware of their environment and who is in it.

For instance, how many times does a woman just pull into the parking lot at a grocery store and just turn off the car and jump out and start walking in? Even in broad daylight, there could be imminent danger right near her, but she would never see it because she didn't scan her surroundings. There could be a gang member sitting in the car right next to her, or a group of drugged out teenagers walking her direction, etc. You have GOT TO BE aware of your surroundings. We get lulled into this false sense of security if we live in a 'mostly' civil society.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Always mind your surroundings. I'm a dude and I always do that, scan the area, watch the people that might be around, even when I'm walking down the street I try to mind who's around me and for anyone hiding or being suspicious. But I'm just paranoid. And watch out for others too, sometimes you might spot a suspicious looking person who's stalking a target, a quick walk in that direction can certainly put a wrench in their plans. Two against one are usually better odds.

 

[Kenny]

Sci-Fi,

I'm the same way. Let me ask you a question. Do you ever get aggravated at people that get to close to you, or walk on an intercept path to you or too near to you, or people that linger in your blind spots such as behind you?

 

[Sci-Fi]

Oh hell yeah! I wish I had a force field to repel people with when they get too close. The worst is when you are standing in line somewhere and someone is standing way too close. There's no where to go.

STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!

lol

 

[Kenny]

LMAO at stranger danger. Funny honeysuckle!

I am so aggressive nowadays about my personal space, I will turn around and say "Get the fresia off me".

 

[Sci-Fi]

That's from The Simpsons, Ralph said it.

I don't get too aggressive, I just start getting antsy. In fact...I was just in the bank and post office. When I walked into the bank there weren't many people in there but then a swarm of people came in and lined up behind me. Like 3 people and the person directly behind me kept getting closer. I started to rock on my feet to keep her from getting too close. I probably looked like a complete retard doing that too. Then in the post office it was lined up and everyone lines to the right. There are these two greeting card displays in the center, and along the wall are all their envelopes and shipping supplies, so it get really crowded and people stand so close to you. Not very comfortable at all. I felt so violated and none of it was in a good way. lol

 

[Enchanted Girl]

Chivalry isn't offensive. It's about manners and how two people should treat each other in a relationship. The women can do it too if she wants! Opening doors for people, setting out their chair, paying for their stuff . . . . I don't know why anyone would complain about that.

 

[PaperDuck87]

Chivalry isn't offensive. It's about manners and how two people should treat each other in a relationship. The women can do it too if she wants! Opening doors for people, setting out their chair, paying for their stuff . . . . I don't know why anyone would complain about that.

It's like i said before though...Women these days don't care about those things anymore. It's not like back in the old days before i was born women cared about those things. This is 2011...most women want jerks. If you're not like that then thats good...I wish i could find someone like you. Otherwise...pfft...i'm sorta losing a bit of hope for society.

 

[fortasse]

It's like i said before though...Women these days don't care about those things anymore. It's not like back in the old days before i was born women cared about those things. This is 2011...most women want jerks. If you're not like that then thats good...I wish i could find someone like you. Otherwise...pfft...i'm sorta losing a bit of hope for society.

If most women alleged want jerks, most women have some issues.

I would pick a chivalrous man over a jerk any day.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Chivalry isn't offensive. It's about manners and how two people should treat each other in a relationship. The women can do it too if she wants! Opening doors for people, setting out their chair, paying for their stuff . . . . I don't know why anyone would complain about that.

It's like i said before though...Women these days don't care about those things anymore. It's not like back in the old days before i was born women cared about those things. This is 2011...most women want jerks. If you're not like that then thats good...I wish i could find someone like you. Otherwise...pfft...i'm sorta losing a bit of hope for society.

Y'know, I once saw a dating profile a guy had written online and in it he was complaining how girls only liked ********.

Guess what I did? 1) I sat there in shock that he had the gall to think that would attract me to him. 2) I didn't respond to his dating profile.

It felt as though he thought he knew me before he even did, and also, that he was bitter/possibly sexist. =l

 

[Callie]

It's like i said before though...Women these days don't care about those things anymore. It's not like back in the old days before i was born women cared about those things. This is 2011...most women want jerks. If you're not like that then thats good...I wish i could find someone like you. Otherwise...pfft...i'm sorta losing a bit of hope for society.

I'll take chivalry as well, thanks. I think the problem is that women don't SEE it that often anymore and when they do, it's just written off as common courtesy, opening doors and honeysuckle like that. But let's face it, there's not nearly as much of it going around anymore.

OH, and women don't want jerks, we SETTLE for jerks, cuz all the good guys are taken or whatever.

 

[WishingWell]

That is definitely a tricky question. For me, I love when men treat me like a lady, open doors for me and help me carry packages. Although, when dating, I would never expect a man to pay for dates all the time. I was always willing to either treat once in a while or pay half the bill, and, definitely offer in a persistent way to at least pay the tip. I don't feel like I am weak or less than a man is, but I, for one, getting back to helping me carry things, welcome the help, because most men are physically stronger than I am. When I was driving, I could change a flat tire, but that isn't to say that if a man offered to do it for me I wouldn't welcome that either, but give him a bit of money to get a few beers or whatever. BUT THAT IS JUST ME!

 

[Sci-Fi]

Yesterday while going into the bank two ladies were coming out, one was heading my direction the other in the opposite, she was the last one out the door. She saw me coming but had already stepped away from the door and it was closing. She apologized to me and tried to grab the door, which I had already gotten to and caught it anyway. I thought that was nice of her to even try and acknowledge me, she could have just as easily pretended she didn't know I was there, I'm a guy after all so she doesn't have an obligation to do that. Then again, chivalry seems to have taken on a whole new meaning. It's become more modern and unisexed, something called being polite to others. I think we all should try a little harder to be more polite to everyone.

I don't like letting the woman pay for anything if we're "out" but here's an idea if you are the type of woman who does, take turns. It actually makes for some funny conversation with the waitress. Ever notice that the waitress will usually place the bill in front of or closer to the man than the woman. When I was out with guy friends the waitress would automatically ask if we wanted separate bills or all just on one, never when I was out with females, friends or not.

 

[WishingWell]

That's what I mean, Sci-Fi, what the heck do women expect of men today? Women have incomes too! Why shouldn't they take turns paying. If they can't afford to, they can at least say so and chip in what they can. And, being polite to everyone is a must for one's self esteem. If someone thinks that treating others like they are less than they are, they really should take another long, hard look at themselves. And, I have held doors open for men too...some hesitate, some say, no--you go ahead, and some thank me. IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME EITHER WAY--MY LIFE IS TOO IMPORTANT TO LET THINGS LIKE THAT GET TO ME! I have enough junk that I am dealing with!

 

[Sci-Fi]

LOL I've done that, when a woman holds a door open I tell them to go ahead! For guys it's like having your testicles ascend back up into our body. We're supposed to be the ones who hold the door open for the women, but it is a very bold and polite act on part of a woman to do it.

 

[WishingWell]

Well, Sci-Fi, I try to be polite, and I suppose I am bold then! LOL!