What keeps you from getting your dream partner ?

[kaetic]

Is this no longer a public forum where people can post their opinions and offer advice in the thread that they started?  
Huh, I guess things have changed since I last posted.  

What stops me?  The fact that I'm not looking right now. Lol
All I'm seeing in this thread is excuses, to be honest.

Yeah, things have changed since you last posted. It haven't become a paradise here, but also you didn't had many people that kept creating flame and provoking others lol 

I don't know if it is my bad English or if you have some problems with reading, but I have never said that he can't post or whatever else. When you see someone with 6 posts, one thread and he haven't even introduced himself there is something that makes you wonder of why he is here. 

And yes, since this is a public forum you can write everywhere even if you have nothing to do with the thread. If you aren't looking for your dream partner then why you are replying here? I guess because it's a public forum...

Because she's clearly provoking the responses she wants to see to make her own points and thoughts valid. It's a trap. As well as lashing out in her own way trying to flaunt her worth to this forum. So! here ya go, I fell in. Good job! :

The irony of being tough and condescending while acting passive-aggressively childish. Come on, say what you actually 'want to' say here. Clearly, please. It's a public forum with opinions after all.

Or was it always a passive-aggressive bitterness/resentment-venting, used-as-a-ego-or-validation-boost forum??? Sorry, I sometimes get those two confused amidst people who hypocritically use the public-forum-opinion card the most when one's opinions are criticized just as much if not more alongside their own given criticism.

Please elaborate ; I'm a tad confused. This no longer is a public forum with opinions because your opinions were missing?? Because I don't see how that reply was valid in this thread otherwise. And to carelessly say something like that to other people's thoughts or feelings is  extremely hypocritical and makes your entire reply contradicting. I'm going to call it what it is,  a lazy and selfish attempt to not look obvious with the real intentions of your reply.

Here's some hard truth and bluntness for you in return since I do appreciate it when you give and live by it, I personally know more members than I can count on my fingers who left because of you. So Please everyone, welcome back the ALL drama, just what we needed and what we were missing in order to thrive again.

Seems like an overreaction to a post...

Quick question though, did those people "leave" or did they freak out on the forum and get themselves banned? Bc if they just left obvs they can come back. Maybe some of them did already, under different names?

---

Nah, those are premium sticks, they are hard like metal

I need a gif... Missbehave?

 

[MissBehave]

Or if you are more of a bat kind of guy:

 

[xploe]

Is this no longer a public forum where people can post their opinions and offer advice in the thread that they started?  
Huh, I guess things have changed since I last posted.  

What stops me?  The fact that I'm not looking right now. Lol
All I'm seeing in this thread is excuses, to be honest.

Yeah, things have changed since you last posted. It haven't become a paradise here, but also you didn't had many people that kept creating flame and provoking others lol 

I don't know if it is my bad English or if you have some problems with reading, but I have never said that he can't post or whatever else. When you see someone with 6 posts, one thread and he haven't even introduced himself there is something that makes you wonder of why he is here. 

And yes, since this is a public forum you can write everywhere even if you have nothing to do with the thread. If you aren't looking for your dream partner then why you are replying here? I guess because it's a public forum...

You probably didn't notice but I am here to help people to get into a relationship with a good woman to make them feel better, more confident and more happy.

I offer my free one-on-one help via WhatsApp, Phone, this forum or whatever platform they want to.

Are you a member of rsd? Hmm

Actually not, but why would that be a bad thing ?

 

[Xpendable]

I agree with what was said. PUA in 2019 is beyond out of touch.

 

[Unix]

Is this no longer a public forum where people can post their opinions and offer advice in the thread that they started?  
Huh, I guess things have changed since I last posted.  

What stops me?  The fact that I'm not looking right now. Lol
All I'm seeing in this thread is excuses, to be honest.

Yeah, things have changed since you last posted. It haven't become a paradise here, but also you didn't had many people that kept creating flame and provoking others lol 

I don't know if it is my bad English or if you have some problems with reading, but I have never said that he can't post or whatever else. When you see someone with 6 posts, one thread and he haven't even introduced himself there is something that makes you wonder of why he is here. 

And yes, since this is a public forum you can write everywhere even if you have nothing to do with the thread. If you aren't looking for your dream partner then why you are replying here? I guess because it's a public forum...

You probably didn't notice but I am here to help people to get into a relationship with a good woman to make them feel better, more confident and more happy.

I offer my free one-on-one help via WhatsApp, Phone, this forum or whatever platform they want to.

Are you a member of rsd? Hmm

Actually not, but why would that be a bad thing ?

No lol actually I'm almost curious to see what could happen if I follow your advices

 

[MissBehave]

Oh no Unix! Nooooooooo!!

 

[QuietDesperation2.0]

I have an extreme and unusual sort of anxiety around men I actually like - that I'm attracted to. This anxiety makes me come off more unattractive, undesirable, and unlikeable. You'd have to see in it person to believe it and see how it actually is.

Most women who are shy/anxious aren't a turnoff - in fact, their shyness probably makes them even more appealing. For some reason, my anxiety manifests itself as uglier and more unlikeable. I've seen many people who looked obviously nervous, but that didn't make them uglier or more unlikeable - in fact, it gave people more empathy towards them and made them more "real."

For most women, there are tons of desirable men they can choose from. It is generally very easy for women to get into relationships with satisfactory men. And once they're out of a relationship, they're instantly in another one. But for me, nothing ever happens.

So it's a neverending vicious circle for me.

It doesn't help for me to think about a potential significant other, but that's a major issue on this site and others, and people are always posting about it. So I respond to those threads.

 

[SirPanda]

Once upon a time 124 miles

 

[xploe]

Actually not, but why would that be a bad thing ?

No lol actually I'm almost curious to see what could happen if I follow your advices

And I am very curious about that. If you never try you'll never know.

Feel free to add me on Discord if you want to chat: Xploe #4039

 

[Black Manta]

My wife.

 

[LostintheBardo]

Being a complete weirdo.

 

[Usvic1]

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

if you are on your way to find a partner who is beautiful, supportive and smart. And get into a relationship with that person. A relationship that makes you feel like you can achieve anything you want to, because you grow thogether and support each other. A relationship where every moment is exciting, interesting and fun.

I want to know from you: What keeps you from getting the dream partner you deserve ?

I want to know.

 

[ardour]

Mixture of the usual banal problems – nothing great to look at, lack of confidence, undeveloped social skills, awkwardness, insecurity, too boring – along with the age related ones of not meeting anyone within 5 years who seems avialable.

Acknowledging how how easy it would be for someone to use this to attack me or label me a creep, there’s the other problem. I didn’t date in my early twenties. I lost my mid 20’s to early 30s taking care of a terminally ill parent. I’m emotionally/intellectually stunted, sstuck in a 20s phase looking at women in their 20s same way I did. Aside from a couple of long time friends, I often find the company of my peers depressing. And when I look at 40yo women it’s almost like they’re an older generation. That’s completely messed up disordered thinking but I’m not sure what to do about it. It might help if I actually managed to meet and talk to single women my age, but as I said it’s like the ground’s swallowed them up. Overall I just don’t feel much motivation to 'get out there'; less intitial physical attraction, having kids being all but out of the question now, the disparity in life experience making a relationship extremely unlikely to work in the first place.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Mixture of the usual banal problems – nothing great to look at, lack of confidence, undeveloped social skills, awkwardness, insecurity, too boring  – along with the age related ones of not meeting anyone within 5 years who seems avialable.

Acknowledging how  how easy it would be for someone to use this to attack me or label me a creep, there’s the other problem. I didn’t date in my early twenties.  I lost my mid 20’s to early 30s taking care of a terminally ill parent. I’m emotionally/intellectually stunted, sstuck in  a 20s phase looking at women in their 20s same way I did.  Aside from a couple of long time friends, I  often find the company of my peers  depressing. And when I  look at 40yo women it’s almost like they’re an older generation. That’s completely messed up disordered thinking but I’m not sure what to do about it.  It might help if I actually managed to meet and talk to single women my age, but  as I said it’s like the ground’s swallowed them up. Overall I just don’t feel much motivation to 'get out there'; less intitial physical attraction,  having kids being all but out of the question now, the disparity in life experience making  a relationship extremely unlikely to work in the first place.

I don't think I've ever seen your picture, so I can't comment on how you look, but I seriously doubt it's as bad as you think it is.  Most people who are so negative about their looks aren't nearly as bad as they think.  Hell, I used to think I was ugly as hell. 

I know all about the stigma of online dating and what most people think of it here, but have you tried it?  What are you thoughts on long distance relationships?  I really don't think lack of experience will stop you from finding someone.  It doesn't really matter in the end and honestly, other than the negativity, it's not all that much of a bad thing.  You are an adult, not a mindless teenager, you know how to treat people and what you can and can't do.  It's not much different from a friendship, to be honest.

 

[AnonymousMe]

I don't think I've ever seen your picture, so I can't comment on how you look, but I seriously doubt it's as bad as you think it is.  Most people who are so negative about their looks aren't nearly as bad as they think.  Hell, I used to think I was ugly as hell.

How do I look?  Like a 2 out of 10?
http://www.mediafire.com/view/uaej893vq3qvzfo/big_8099_5d07dba507021_20190608_121048.jpg#

 

[TheRealCallie]

I don't think I've ever seen your picture, so I can't comment on how you look, but I seriously doubt it's as bad as you think it is.  Most people who are so negative about their looks aren't nearly as bad as they think.  Hell, I used to think I was ugly as hell.

How do I look?  Like a 2 out of 10?
http://www.mediafire.com/view/uaej893vq3qvzfo/big_8099_5d07dba507021_20190608_121048.jpg#

I wouldn't call you a "2" by any means, not even with that unflattering light and all that.  I have always hated the 1-10 scale.  It's more complex than that.  What I see is someone who looks resigned or sad or unhappy or something.  I can't pin down the word I'm looking for.  Also, your eyebrows are very straight.  (not a bad thing, just an observation. lol)

Since I know several people will say I'm coping out by not saying a number, I would say around a 4 or 5.  Now, that's based on THAT picture and appearance alone, including the expression that, to me, sends out a negative emotion.  

Now, what I will also say is that you have lovely eyes, which means a hell of a lot more to me than just appearance alone.  I feel you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their eyes.  If you were smiling (and I'm talking REAL smile, not a fake one) or laughing, they would be so much more expressive and attractive.  So change the lighting, find a reason to really smile or laugh and retake that picture. 

I have seen pictures of guys "society" would say is a 10, but I found him not attractive at all because his eyes had no expression, they were just dead, in a way.  Sometimes it's more than just physical looks alone, which is what I've been trying to tell people here all along.  Some women look at other things.  Like some men are ass men or leg men, I'm an eye woman.  That's the first thing I look at and the biggest judge of character, IMO.  
Aside from that, you have a nice face. If you think you are ugly, you aren't. 

Keep in mind, that this is MY opinion only.  Others obviously will not agree with me.  Also keep in mind that I don't go on looks alone, I look at the whole package.

 

[AnonymousMe]

I wouldn't call you a "2" by any means, not even with that unflattering light and all that.  I have always hated the 1-10 scale.  It's more complex than that.  What I see is someone who looks resigned or sad or unhappy or something.  I can't pin down the word I'm looking for.  Also, your eyebrows are very straight.  (not a bad thing, just an observation. lol)

Since I know several people will say I'm coping out by not saying a number, I would say around a 4 or 5.  Now, that's based on THAT picture and appearance alone, including the expression that, to me, sends out a negative emotion.  

Now, what I will also say is that you have lovely eyes, which means a hell of a lot more to me than just appearance alone.  I feel you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their eyes.  If you were smiling (and I'm talking REAL smile, not a fake one) or laughing, they would be so much more expressive and attractive.  So change the lighting, find a reason to really smile or laugh and retake that picture. 

I have seen pictures of guys "society" would say is a 10, but I found him not attractive at all because his eyes had no expression, they were just dead, in a way.  Sometimes it's more than just physical looks alone, which is what I've been trying to tell people here all along.  Some women look at other things.  Like some men are ass men or leg men, I'm an eye woman.  That's the first thing I look at and the biggest judge of character, IMO.  
Aside from that, you have a nice face. If you think you are ugly, you aren't. 

Keep in mind, that this is MY opinion only.  Others obviously will not agree with me.  Also keep in mind that I don't go on looks alone, I look at the whole package.

That's actually the first time I've realized that.  =P

So my neutral face emits feelings of negativity, heh?  Well, you're not entirely wrong, remember I said all this stuff:
https://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=40118&pid=905875#pid905875
They're things I have to deal with every day.  I still working on improving myself though, veeery slowly, but surely.
Also, I'm not gonna take another picture, I don't like smiling in public.  What you see is who I am and I just wanted to know your thoughts.
I guess all this really makes me a 2 out of 10, huh?  Thanks for the compliment though.  =)

 

[TheRealCallie]

Not knowing how to drive; not having a driver’s license; not knowing about car mechanics or paperwork

Do you live in a city where you don't need to know how to drive?

Having a High School Diploma as my highest education

So what, that's all I have. That's all a lot of people have

Being a picky eater

lol, I'm a vegan. You don't get much pickier than that.

Not knowing how to use my health insurance

You give them your card and they do the rest?

Not having a bank account; not knowing how to use credit cards

Not knowing how to use a credit card isn't a bad thing. And a bank account isn't required.

Not having a job

Can be fixed, but why don't you have one?

Living with my parents

Not always a bad thing, but can also be fixed if you get a job

Not knowing how to use boilers, washing/dryer machines;

Very easily fixed. Ask your parents. Watch a YouTube video.

Not knowing how to pay bills

Do you have any? Also, easily fixed.

Not know much about medicines

Who does? And why do you have to?

Being ugly, chubby, and hairy, with a circumcised small penis

You aren't ugly, you can remedy the chubby and hairy. Not sure about the last, but I doubt it's as bad as you think.

Feeling uncomfortable with my body, limiting the fun everyone else can do

Can be fixed.

Having a bad memory

In what regard? Like you never remember anything or you just don't choose to or something else?

Not knowing how to use a modern cell phone

Easily fixed. And everyone has issues when they get a new phone, so not really a huge deal.

Not knowing the streets or places of my city

Can be fixed. Google Maps could help you if you don't want to go explore outside.

Having mild gingivitis

You and a billion other people.

Having very limited interests; not liking TV series or sports; sit on my room all day

Find some more. Surely you haven't tried or done everything available in this world.

Have a quiet and serious personality; not smiling

Being quite and serious isn't a bad thing. As for the not smiling thing, I bet if you fix some of your other issues, you would smile more.

Having AVPD (I think)

Self diagnosing is always a bad thing.

Not having a sense of fashion

A lot of men don't.

Not having a sense of humor; not being playful; not being able to flirt

That could change

Not being able to defend myself physically or verbally

Could also change. Take a martial arts class or something. Also, being a man doesn't require you to be able to beat the honeysuckle out of someone.

Being friendless

Could also change if you fixed some of your other issues

Being a virgin

It's doubtful anyone would know unless you tell them. But not a big deal, IMO

Not being good at making decisions or talking person-to-person

Lots of people struggle with decisions. And you can get better at talking to people.

Have a poor taste in music

I don't believe there is such a thing, but why do you say that?

Being extremely envious

Of what? Again, if you fix some of your issues, that would likely change, at least a little

Have to take medications every day, otherwise I'll die

Some people have to take meds. I take meds every day, so does my son and my ex and my mother and a billion other people. I may not die if I miss a dose, but other people could. Just don't forget and it's not a big deal, right?

Not being talented at pretty much anything, except maybe play video games

I call bullshit, everyone is talented at something, you just haven't found what you are talented at yet.


Also, I said you were a 4 or 5, based on that unflattering selfie. You are NOT a 2.
If you want, feel free to PM me and we can talk more privately, if you don't want everything on the forum. That would also give you practice talking one on one. You can also find me in the chat room.

 

[GustavusMacer]

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

if you are on your way to find a partner who is beautiful, supportive and smart. And get into a relationship with that person. A relationship that makes you feel like you can achieve anything you want to, because you grow thogether and support each other. A relationship where every moment is exciting, interesting and fun.

I want to know from you: What keeps you from getting the dream partner you deserve ?

I'm not sure she exists.

 

[ardour]

I don't think I've ever seen your picture, so I can't comment on how you look, but I seriously doubt it's as bad as you think it is.  Most people who are so negative about their looks aren't nearly as bad as they think.  Hell, I used to think I was ugly as hell. 

I know all about the stigma of online dating and what most people think of it here, but have you tried it?  What are you thoughts on long distance relationships?  I really don't think lack of experience will stop you from finding someone.  It doesn't really matter in the end and honestly, other than the negativity, it's not all that much of a bad thing.  You are an adult, not a mindless teenager, you know how to treat people and what you can and can't do.  It's not much different from a friendship, to be honest.

I’ve never used online dating, in pre Tinder days only desperate or trashy people did that. Now it seems like a source of ego validation for attractive people who don't take it seriously. I don't know of any men who found relationships that way. I don’t see the point in a long distance relationship either. You need in-person interaction and there’s a good chance of being catfished, messed with or used as a source of attention on the side.

I just wanted to meet someone normally through social circle and shared activities, but without a solid network that was always going to be difficult. I have friends but it's just people here and there, not a social circle. And a lot of people are initially put off by my face. I can't relax or smile properly and usually look uncomfortable or surprised. Taking a decent photo is just about impossible. I've been in dozens and taken hundreds of selfies in every lighting situation imaginable. The average woman has dozens of better options literally at her fingertips, better than some weirdly aggressive looking creep staring back with nothing original or funny to say. There's so much stigma and bad will to overcome it's bordering on ridiculous to even contemplate trying to date. I wouldn't expect you could understand or be inclined accept any of this as valid.