What made you laugh today?

[NoxApex(N/A)]

 

[Claudia1794]

A chicken jumped on my back while I was petting another one. I think she was jealous.

 

[Finished]

A chicken jumped on my back while I was petting another one. I think she was jealous.

Be careful this doesn't happen to you: Ha! ha!

 

[Claudia1794]

Be careful this doesn't happen to you: Ha! ha!

Haha couple days ago I was walking my dog and he actually charged into the pin. My fault, I thought I had the lock on the retractable leash. Luckily my son was in the yard and ran over, mad as hell giving me crazy eye, and diffused the situation. It would've been blood and feathers had the chickens not gotten away. My son scolded me and my dog for "upsetting the ladies".

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

"A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards. That's right. The steaks were pretty high."

 

[Finished]

Thinking about Claudia1794 playing with her chickens. Ha! ha!

 

[Claudia1794]

Thinking about Claudia1794 playing with her chickens. Ha! ha!

Don’t make fun...by this spring I’m gonna have these bitches in single file behind me in the yard.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I bought a 40 lbs. weighted vest...to use it as a counterweight to hold my feet down while I'm doing crunches/sit-ups in a 20 lbs. weighted vest.
Plus I can just switch out later before inflation rates give me the finger.

 

[Claudia1794]

C.S. Lewis is in hell putting the finishing touches on a cabinet when a demon asks conversationally “What’re you up to?”
“Narnia business,” said Lewis.
“No need to be rude. You know, there is more to life than wardrobes.” says the demon.

 

[Claudia1794]

My cats were arguing and slapping each other. I very lightly touched one cat on the butt with my foot. he turned around and slapped me then attacked my sleeping dog. Cats are psycho dicks and I so wish I could be a cat.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Harry Potter, but it's rewritten by an A.I.

 

[user 135067]

My son was building computers and got flummoxed when the graphics cards were resulting in no outputs. He asked for my help.

I looked at the computers. Seriously, only looked, and they started working fine.

Maybe sometimes a little positive energy is enough to overcome a problem.

It was more of a snicker than a laugh. I didn't want to gloat.

 

[Claudia1794]

That people try to disguise their “just checking on you” as love and concern for you when it’s actually their fear of not being able to control and monitor you 24/7. It’s hilarious that they think I’m that stupid.

 

[Claudia1794]

Hahahaha!!! I made it to my destination in the allotted time I was given. I put on the grand performance got a treat and sent back to my cage. Hahahaha! Im just full of shits and giggles today.

 

[Adamridge79]

That there's 7

 

[Adamridge79]

Nope, 8 now

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

"How do I tell if it's Jazz?"
"Jazz is weird. If it sounds both upbeat AND disconnected yet not necessarily chromatic, it's Jazz."

Also, this old meme:

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

This dudes commentary is hilarious.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I totally reached for my television remote in the dark but accidentally picked up my stick deodorant instead, pointed it at the tv and tried to turn it off and didn't realize it wasn't my remote until I noticed with my hand that there's no buttons.

I guess that means it's nap time.

 

[user 139760]

The expression on the cashier's face when I told her my imaginery friend was giving her the bird. The the widening eyes when I started an argument with him.