That my "plan A" for life will fail, and I don't have a plan B. I'm working towards my "plan A" and hate that I need to rely on other people to help me get there. It feels like I'm wasting away what would/should be the "prime" of my life, but I don't have another choice. I just want to experience life, and I'm scared I'm going to be miserable for the rest of my life because I'm honestly trying, but I'm at a blackjack table where everyone else is counting cards and hiding aces.