What type of person are you drawn to?

[Paraiyar]

The kind that can tolerate my company.

You're a smart man, I wish you wouldn't undervalue yourself so much.

 

[GHOSTNYOURMIST]

Any that don't find me repulsive.

 

[user 115627]

The ones who provide intellectual stimulation with a hefty dose of wittiness but don't find occasional silence dreadful either. The latter seems to be most problematic.

 

[Incognita]

real man, soft and gentle.

 

[Mr Seal The Albatros]

Though I have absolutely no intention of finding a girlfriend, I've thought of a few things just for fun.

I guess perserverance and ambition are big ones. You see a problem, you try and solve it. You want something, you make a plan and go for it. I guess I just find that sort of drive admirable, and by extension, attractive. Just, as long as that ambition does not leasd to backstabbing.

Being honest would be another big thing, because I cannot read people or understand them very well. If someone was upset with me, I would need the person to tell me upfront.

Being a bit weird is also good. Not weird as in hiding skeletons in the basement, but more like weird as in hiding fake bones and perhaps a smoke machine around the basement because you want it to look like a dragon's lair. Moves to the beat of their own drum, even if others don't.

 

[Yukongirl]

Now I wish I had a basement.....

 

[pinocio]

Kindhearted ,and respectful

 

[Gorbachov]

Honest, weird and not full of themselves. Some sense of humor is also a big bonus.

 

[blackdot]

I am drawn to people that are a lot like myself... which causes an issue because women seem to be attracted to people that are the opposite of themselves (or the opposite of what they are looking for if they are looking for someone like themselves.)

 

[michael2]

I dont know. Ive never been close enough to be attracted to someone's traits. Ive crushed on the personality of some people, but because I never got close to them Im not sure if there was really anything 'real' about it.

Alot scarier question is am I the type of person someone, anyone would be drawn to. 0 dates and 0 close relationships says for me that answer is no. I dont think Im a bad person, Im just too different, 'weird'. I also dont think I am a hidden jewel that nobody has found yet. Im just a guy. My personality, my personage that I have developed over the course of my life has become something that women simply are not attracted to. That hurts alot and Ive spent about a year struggling with it. Looking back, I wish I was more like 'normal' people. I wish I was like everyone else. Things would be so much better. I just dont have that 'look' nor do I have a personality anyone can fall in love with or even 'crush' on.

Im so sick and tired of this dark cloud that settles over me every few days to remind me how much I want love, but also how much its impossible for me.

 

[Ugly_Sean]

>From both a romantic and friendship perspective, what type of person are you drawn to?

For friendship, I need somebody who is kind and patient. Someone who understands I have weaknesses and is willing to accept them. I don't know of any such person.  As for romantic, after a few failed attempts I realize I should follow my heart and keep going for older women. I'm 49 now so some sexy girl in her seventies would be what I'm seeking. But right now I've been burned too many times. I'm not looking. I'm very alone and keep to myself. 

 

[Melissaur]

Essentially I can be attracted to anyone that is interested in me, since I'm pretty much a narcissist. But I have a long list of turn-offs. I can over-look some so long as the person has redeeming qualities that counter act the turn-offs. Some can't be overlooked, like facial hair which I can't stand because it triggers my anxiety disorder if I try to kiss a people with hair on their face.

In the past I've tried to overlook things like my ex being unemployed for a long time, and my other ex who would stone-wall me whenever he got upset which was often since he was sensitive. Since those relationships failed, I know not to try overlooking those things again. I've seen some men post in these forums that they feel bad that women won't accept them if they are unemployed. But try to imagine what it's like to date someone who is unemployed, that person becomes a financial burden and respect is quickly lost from both sides.

Anyway being attracted to someone doesn't equate to the possibility of a successful and healthy relationship. In the future I'd rather date someone that I foresee a good future with, rather than someone I'm have an inexplicable crush on. I don't want to repeat my previous failed relationships.

 

[ditakelly]

I always seem to attract and be attracted to toxic people. I've got to the point now where if I find someone appealing, i just know they will something toxic stuff down the line. The fact that I like them is the first red flag!

 

[Desperado]

Kooky artistic oddballs with a strange imagination and a warped perverted sense of humor. In other words, people like me.

 

[Missingthesun]

People with a passion for knowledge or causes always gets me. I can't get past this online relationship I'm having with a guy I met in Haiti, partly because I'm fascinated by the entirely different worldview.

 

[Ilvatresbien]

someone that likes me for me

This is the one friend that I am still hoping to find (outside of familial relationships).

The ones who provide intellectual stimulation with a hefty dose of wittiness but don't find occasional silence dreadful either. The latter seems to be most problematic.

Yes, I've had only a couple of friends like this in my life and I miss them. I MUST be at peace when I am silent in your presence. If not, then I have trouble continuing the friendship...

 

[morrowrd]

I've always been attracted to the "good girls" - the kind that don't party, enjoy a one on one relationship and are not promiscuous, the kind that like the simple things in life.  They are the types who would blend into my own lifestyle, as opposed to the kind that need alot of entertainment and upkeep.  I'm not talking about being clingy and insecure, that I can handle, and actually enjoy.  To have a girl to yourself, who wants that kind of attention I consider a real privilege to be with.  (and I have to say I'm lucky to have a girl like that in my life, I've never been this happy.)

My first girlfriend, in high school was the opposite of the above. And I ignored the advice from "lots" of people, including guys in their 20's (I was 15 - 16). Her brother even suggested I date someone else, anyone besides her.  Nope, had to learn that lesson the hard way, and I was talking to my girlfriend about her just this past Saturday as we were out and about.  I said that remembering that era with the "party girl" brought back some shameful memories about being such a dummy.  She said that everyone does that, and how else are we to figure out what types we like and dislike? That made me feel better actually..I NEVER dated or gave any attention to anyone like her again. Probably is why I only found the "good girls" attractive.

 

[Tealeaf]

I mostly befriend other introverts. Extroverts want to talk and go out more than I'm comfortable with and it's exhausting after a while.

 

[TheSkaFish]

From both a romantic and friendship perspective, what type of person are you drawn to?

For me it has always been my opposite. Shy and introverted, I have always been drawn to gregarious people. I find people that can easily talk to others put me at ease in social situations and coax me out of my shell quicker than I would usually come out on my own. 

The closest person I have to a best friend is exactly my opposite and every women I have gotten remotely close to is again a lot more sociable than I am. I wouldn't necessarily say that they are all extroverts, but they definitely lack my shyness.

For friends, I'm drawn to people with similar interests and values or at least ones that don't clash with my own.  Someone I can relate to and feel comfortable talking to.  

For romantic relationships I tend to be drawn to girls that I feel are unique, people that don't seem to belong to one particular subculture or group but who have cultivated their own style and tastes. They tend to be both deep and playful.  They make me excited and curious and I could see myself wanting to learn more about them and wondering what they think about things. I like girls that I think I'd learn from, and could inspire me to grow.

 

[pokétrek]

people with same interests as me. I also tend to be drawn to extroverts but they don't like my introversion too much. haha