Hello everybody How is everybody doing? I know, "what do you think you idiot!? not so well" may be your answer, but I wish every healing possibility for you. I'm a loner myself, and I feel like sharing something on it. I have lots to give and I'm sure I have lots to take from you people. I may sound stupid in being slightly positive in all this, but trust me I'm desparately lonely at times.
I came here for reasons, so obvious, that I feel I don't need to express it. I'm obviously here for the same reasons that you people are. Sitting in front of my computer in some remote room, forgotten and abandoned. Reading you people, in your various thoughts and sentiments, I felt as if all that you have written was me speaking to myself. It's amazing how one/similar we are when it comes to the feelings of loneliness. I am you, and you are me. It's not just an idea... it's a FACT for me. We may be different bodies and colors, but in our consciousness we are so one. And it also amazes me how we people have finally faced the fact of a deep strain of loneliness in our life. Some of you may be suffering more than others, some less, but we are all in the same boat. Infact a lot of us are quiet privileged, looking at some of the really hedious experiences people go through... like prisoners or abandoned children. Now, here are people who really have a good reason to end their lives... but some don't.
I have been feeling lonely, forlorn, friendless, empty and hopeless for a few years. Nothing's worked... career, partner, and I've feel like being reduced to some kind of senile, primitive, impoverished state. And I know I'm not that bad. However the reason I don't want to keep saying how and why I'm lonely is that I have learnt one thing: if you keep reiterating a problem, it only makes it more complicated. You have to see how your mind is playing games with you, which I agree is one thing too easy said than done, especially when one is in sheer misery. But life has not decided to make us victims of loneliness. Life is unfair, but it does not choose victims. It depends on us how we take it. Nor have we signed any contract with life, before we were born, to keep giving us happiness and fun and pleasure all the time. Life can be seriously dark and miserable, as most of us here know so well. One can see this darkness of life as the end, OR one can see it as a challenge, a mountain to be climed. Loneliness is the mountain of mountains... but it can be climbed. And to climb anything one needs to take that first crucial step. Who cares how big the mountain is... what is important is we take that first step that is POSSIBLE.
I'm not wanting to be some flower-worded, inspiring, good-guy consultant here. I too have come to a crisis in loneliness here. There was a time when suicide seemed such a real and 'rational' thing to do. But something kept me from it. Here's what I have done. I have stopped making it into a personal problem. For one, this forum and others has clearly put things in a great perspective for me. It's not just me and you. Loniness is a grave problem in our society today, and we need to deal with it as if it were a house burning. We have to URGENTLY deal with this problem of loneliness and human relationships, not on just a superficial level, but once and for all. I don't think there is anything as important as attending to the problems of conflict, lack of relationship and loneliness, which I feel are all interrelated, and haunts so many people, pushing them to cold suicides. It's NOT supposed to happen as one may think. It can be completely avoided, and not just that, life made even better, if only we come together in this and begin to understand it.
Loneliness has the potential to turn into compassion. When you really suffer it, you feel utter sympathy for human condition. There is no choice left. You feel that nobody must go through this. Not even the devil himself deserves to be lonely, much less people. Nobody deserves to eat alone, cry alone, die alone (perhaps the only thing sensible to do alone is one's ablusions!). We need people in everything.
Face your loneliness. Face it totally. Take it as a season, like you take a cold dark winter, it will wane. Nothing is permanant, if only we can stop sustaining it. We have partially faced this loneliness from time unknown, and becasue of that we have never got to grips with it. There is no point being angry on it. Stop saying to yourself "I'm lonely, I'm miserable, I can never come out of it, life sucks, life is unfair, why ME?... etc", stop putting the blame on the world, and really do something about it. We have to change our langauge, becasue it is langauge that adds to the problem. We have to take responsibility for it. The only way to come out of it is by some action. And the only action is see that it affects others, to see that our problems are all interrelated, and so to help other comes out of it.
It is we who have brought about this problem of loneliness, by the way we live and think in constant competition, struggle, insecurities, fears, prejudices, pleasures, racisms etc. Some of us even know it, but we are not willing to do anything about it. Life is not a fool's plaything, is it?? Are we supposed to just sit there being victims of loneliness?? That's not going to help anything. It all depends on us, and I think that is the greatest challenge of being human.
I'm terrible lonely at times, stuck in a dark hole as it were. It's a tragedy, and nothing feels good. My deepest passion in life is to see people, you people, come out of your loneliness. If you have come out, I need you to help others. I want you to know that I am there for you, my life is for you, whoever you are and whereever you are. And I ask you to be there for me. I trust you in your suffering, and I ask you to trust me in mine. I'm there to Listen to you. I wish I had done that from the beginning, but it's never late to begin a good action. I wish I had wand that could make us come together; hell, I wish people could be more sensitive we wouldn't be so lonely! But as we are, realistically, we must stop looking for easy personal and practical solutions to a massive problem.
There is a miracle... it's Love... but Love is not easy. It is difficult to be compassionate, but it is the only way out if it. There is something radical that needs to be done. Let us together face this loneliness. And when we face it I'm sure it will turn into compassion. It has already taken place, as we are so open and intimate with each other. (That's not just becasue we are on the internet, I wish and I'm sure we would be open and caring even to person in front in flesh and blood if given the right occasion). Don't accept loneliness as if it's supposed to be there all the time in your life. That's not a wise conclusion, nor the reality. Becasue if you accept loneliness... you are in essense accepting violence. Once you accept it slowly you'll be indifferent/apathetic to people who are suffering from it.
I'd like to end with what I feel is absolutely true. Happiness doubles by sharing, and misery halves by sharing. So share whatever you have, however you are, both your joys and sorrows. Be bold. Judgements don't matter when you are clear in your action. Don't worry if people woud take it or not, becasue that's thier problem. You just keep giving and sharing. Even if nobody is there for us, we have to be there for everybody. Cause if you fail in your duty, you have nobody to blame but yourself for all your loneliness.
And we al know what needs to be done. It's just a matter of doing it. There is NO easy substitute for action.
_______________________
The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.
* Pearl S. Buck
I came here for reasons, so obvious, that I feel I don't need to express it. I'm obviously here for the same reasons that you people are. Sitting in front of my computer in some remote room, forgotten and abandoned. Reading you people, in your various thoughts and sentiments, I felt as if all that you have written was me speaking to myself. It's amazing how one/similar we are when it comes to the feelings of loneliness. I am you, and you are me. It's not just an idea... it's a FACT for me. We may be different bodies and colors, but in our consciousness we are so one. And it also amazes me how we people have finally faced the fact of a deep strain of loneliness in our life. Some of you may be suffering more than others, some less, but we are all in the same boat. Infact a lot of us are quiet privileged, looking at some of the really hedious experiences people go through... like prisoners or abandoned children. Now, here are people who really have a good reason to end their lives... but some don't.
I have been feeling lonely, forlorn, friendless, empty and hopeless for a few years. Nothing's worked... career, partner, and I've feel like being reduced to some kind of senile, primitive, impoverished state. And I know I'm not that bad. However the reason I don't want to keep saying how and why I'm lonely is that I have learnt one thing: if you keep reiterating a problem, it only makes it more complicated. You have to see how your mind is playing games with you, which I agree is one thing too easy said than done, especially when one is in sheer misery. But life has not decided to make us victims of loneliness. Life is unfair, but it does not choose victims. It depends on us how we take it. Nor have we signed any contract with life, before we were born, to keep giving us happiness and fun and pleasure all the time. Life can be seriously dark and miserable, as most of us here know so well. One can see this darkness of life as the end, OR one can see it as a challenge, a mountain to be climed. Loneliness is the mountain of mountains... but it can be climbed. And to climb anything one needs to take that first crucial step. Who cares how big the mountain is... what is important is we take that first step that is POSSIBLE.
I'm not wanting to be some flower-worded, inspiring, good-guy consultant here. I too have come to a crisis in loneliness here. There was a time when suicide seemed such a real and 'rational' thing to do. But something kept me from it. Here's what I have done. I have stopped making it into a personal problem. For one, this forum and others has clearly put things in a great perspective for me. It's not just me and you. Loniness is a grave problem in our society today, and we need to deal with it as if it were a house burning. We have to URGENTLY deal with this problem of loneliness and human relationships, not on just a superficial level, but once and for all. I don't think there is anything as important as attending to the problems of conflict, lack of relationship and loneliness, which I feel are all interrelated, and haunts so many people, pushing them to cold suicides. It's NOT supposed to happen as one may think. It can be completely avoided, and not just that, life made even better, if only we come together in this and begin to understand it.
Loneliness has the potential to turn into compassion. When you really suffer it, you feel utter sympathy for human condition. There is no choice left. You feel that nobody must go through this. Not even the devil himself deserves to be lonely, much less people. Nobody deserves to eat alone, cry alone, die alone (perhaps the only thing sensible to do alone is one's ablusions!). We need people in everything.
Face your loneliness. Face it totally. Take it as a season, like you take a cold dark winter, it will wane. Nothing is permanant, if only we can stop sustaining it. We have partially faced this loneliness from time unknown, and becasue of that we have never got to grips with it. There is no point being angry on it. Stop saying to yourself "I'm lonely, I'm miserable, I can never come out of it, life sucks, life is unfair, why ME?... etc", stop putting the blame on the world, and really do something about it. We have to change our langauge, becasue it is langauge that adds to the problem. We have to take responsibility for it. The only way to come out of it is by some action. And the only action is see that it affects others, to see that our problems are all interrelated, and so to help other comes out of it.
It is we who have brought about this problem of loneliness, by the way we live and think in constant competition, struggle, insecurities, fears, prejudices, pleasures, racisms etc. Some of us even know it, but we are not willing to do anything about it. Life is not a fool's plaything, is it?? Are we supposed to just sit there being victims of loneliness?? That's not going to help anything. It all depends on us, and I think that is the greatest challenge of being human.
I'm terrible lonely at times, stuck in a dark hole as it were. It's a tragedy, and nothing feels good. My deepest passion in life is to see people, you people, come out of your loneliness. If you have come out, I need you to help others. I want you to know that I am there for you, my life is for you, whoever you are and whereever you are. And I ask you to be there for me. I trust you in your suffering, and I ask you to trust me in mine. I'm there to Listen to you. I wish I had done that from the beginning, but it's never late to begin a good action. I wish I had wand that could make us come together; hell, I wish people could be more sensitive we wouldn't be so lonely! But as we are, realistically, we must stop looking for easy personal and practical solutions to a massive problem.
There is a miracle... it's Love... but Love is not easy. It is difficult to be compassionate, but it is the only way out if it. There is something radical that needs to be done. Let us together face this loneliness. And when we face it I'm sure it will turn into compassion. It has already taken place, as we are so open and intimate with each other. (That's not just becasue we are on the internet, I wish and I'm sure we would be open and caring even to person in front in flesh and blood if given the right occasion). Don't accept loneliness as if it's supposed to be there all the time in your life. That's not a wise conclusion, nor the reality. Becasue if you accept loneliness... you are in essense accepting violence. Once you accept it slowly you'll be indifferent/apathetic to people who are suffering from it.
I'd like to end with what I feel is absolutely true. Happiness doubles by sharing, and misery halves by sharing. So share whatever you have, however you are, both your joys and sorrows. Be bold. Judgements don't matter when you are clear in your action. Don't worry if people woud take it or not, becasue that's thier problem. You just keep giving and sharing. Even if nobody is there for us, we have to be there for everybody. Cause if you fail in your duty, you have nobody to blame but yourself for all your loneliness.
And we al know what needs to be done. It's just a matter of doing it. There is NO easy substitute for action.
_______________________
The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.
* Pearl S. Buck