Who here have (OR DOESN'T) low self-esteem / confidence because of their looks

[SophiaGrace]

i mean I could say yes to this but, at the same time I wonder if it's really my looks that give me my sense of low self esteem...

It could come from another source.

 

[Coverage]

Yes, my looks contribute greatly to my low self esteem. Unfortunatly, my problem lies with a genetic skin condition I was born with, and no amount of surgery or exercise can fix that.

 

[Jeremi]

I have a pretty small body. I don't weigh that much, and I never gain any. Now I'm pretty comfortable with my body, especially since I started working out, but I would be lying if I said that always being the smallest guy around didn't affect my confidence. I'm not talking about full blown Napoleon-complex. Being small has its advantages and I like that. But I can't help feeling that women just want bigger guys

Besides that, I don't have much problems. Got a new haircut recently, and I like it. I've gotten lots of compliments, which is always nice. I have gray lines under my eyes from my video-gaming days. I don't know how visible they are to people, but I hate staring at them in the mirror

 

[*The Cursed One*]

I have very low-self esteem due to the way I perceive myself (looks-wise). I don't think I look very attractive at all even if people say otherwise - I think they're just being insincere or they just don't want to say it to my face.

I reckon the Elephant Man stands a better chance of getting a girl than I do. If I think I'm ever going to get a decent girlfriend with my looks then I'm kidding myself.

 

[Coverage]

I have a pretty small body. I don't weigh that much, and I never gain any. Now I'm pretty comfortable with my body, especially since I started working out, but I would be lying if I said that always being the smallest guy around didn't affect my confidence. I'm not talking about full blown Napoleon-complex. Being small has its advantages and I like that. But I can't help feeling that women just want bigger guys

Besides that, I don't have much problems. Got a new haircut recently, and I like it. I've gotten lots of compliments, which is always nice. I have gray lines under my eyes from my video-gaming days. I don't know how visible they are to people, but I hate staring at them in the mirror

I have the same type of body. I'm 20 years old, normal height, and only weigh about 127. Cant gain no matter what or how much I eat. Its honestly never really bothered me too much. Sure I feel that being small and weak does me no favors, but I've never actually felt any girl was uninterested simply because of my body size.

I guess I have other physical ailments that occupy my mind, but I've personally never seen my small body size as too much of an issue.

 

[It was Mine]

Well, I'm 5'10 186 lbs. size 34 waist. body hair is a little excessive but hey, I'm a white guy. I just wax it...that's right, i wax it. I have a "stalky" build with broader shoulders. Honestly it's my face i think that i hate, it's a little bit of a baby face because i don't have a defined chin. I've been told MANY times I'm cute. cute doesn't get you laid ha. I always felt you have to be as attractive as you can be to find your partner. because you want to be attracted to them as much as they do to you. so attractiveness is like first base. Then personality, understanding and secure foundation will take you home. For the ones who like people solely because there hot but can't stand anything else about them. Always lead a miserable life, usually they got by because of their looks their whole life so are ******** or lack personality. But **** I'd love to be "hot"

 

[Zackarydoo]

My low self esteem and low confidence is due to my lack of looks. I think looks it's the reason most people feel this way. It's my weight mainly and the way people have always treated me, particularly when I was at school (I'm 41 now). Even now, people sometimes drive past as I'm walking along and yell stuff. I get sick of people saying, "They're not yelling at you". Well they aren't yelling at thin air are they? They choose me to yell at because I look different, and it doesn't help when people tell me it's nothing to do with how I look. The fact is they choose me and not the 20 people near to me, so they must have a reason for that, and the main 'problem' I have in the looks department is my weight.

Anyway, I am trying to lose it and always have tried. I've lost some in the past too, then put it back, but recently I've lost some too and it's still coming off. So I'm getting there but it is very slow. My weight completely runs my life and always has, but I hope it won't always be that way. I know I have confidence in me and it comes out if I'm around people who aren't judging me for the way I look.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I look back at old pictures of myself (when my eating disorder was in full swing), and I get saddened by how much skinnier I was. People liked me more then, than they do now. Since I've deviated from my eating disorder, it seems like anything I eat makes me gain 5lbs. Working out isn't even making the scale go down.

I thought I was ready to let go after almost seven years of having it... I'm tempted to go back to it.

Wow, I could have written this post word for word.

Way back when I was a sophomore in college, a male acquaintance of mine saw my high school yearbook formal and said, "Wow! You were hot!" (note the emphasis on "were," I sure did)

What he didn't know was that at that time that that photo had been taken, I was full in the clutches of a severe eating disorder. I was only 5 pounds heavier when he made the comment, but it felt to me as if I were 50 pounds bigger and covered in warts and lesions.

Now, from looking back at pictures from both those times I can see very little difference in how I actually looked. His remark was most likely carelessly tossed-off, not really indicative of how I looked at the time, but I obsessed over it all throughout college.

Now, 20 years later, I am still in a state of constant battle with the ED mindset.

 

[Uglysadman]

yup. It sucks being ugly, and having incredibly low self esteem on top of it. But I guess we just need to get over it, and accept that. We were born the way we are, and we cant help it if were ugly. If people cant accept the fact were not good looking, they arent worth being around anyways. I dont even want to leave the house anymore, but I realize that isnt possible. Its cruel and unfair, but its life.

 

[ForwardMarch]

My looks don't cause self esteem issues for me, but they are cause for quite a bit of worry.

I have always thought that people were staring at me, but I thought that I was being ridiculous and self-conscious/centered. Though over the past year, several people have pointed out that people were, in fact, staring at me. I even somehow managed to warrant the comment "holy honeysuckle, did you see that guy?" once while simply walking through a bookstore.

I don't think it's so much my looks. I look pretty regular, I'd say (save that for my age I very rarely dress casually). It must be the way I carry myself, or the look on my face. I have started to analyze it and have come to the conclusion that I terrify other people. In a parking lot, I often hear car doors lock just before I pass them. On the sidewalk, people will often cross the street to avoid me. Mothers will be sure to put themselves between me and their child when we pass. It's sometimes funny, but more often it stabs just a little. I'm perfectly harmless, but I don't think I'll ever be seen that way.

I guess I just look creepy. Even if i change into bluejeans and t-shirts or whatever they are wearing these days, I will still have my face, and I will still look like someone just died.

I feel like a trespasser constantly. If people look at me, I feel as if I have committed some sin in their eyes, just by being seen. Does anyone else feel like that? It's something like being a spy, and worrying constantly that you'll be found out.

Another odd thing: People on the street have on many occasions tried to buy drugs from me, even though I am not a drug dealer. Cops constantly stop and search me, and twice I have even been mistaken for a sex worker. I'm afraid that the problem is so deep that there is no redemption.

Needless for me to say, it's very difficult for me to get work when I need to.

In the past I had real problems, though. I was skinny, but thought I was fat. I nearly starved myself. I'd pinch my stomach and if there was any skin between my fingers, I was fat. When I was finally happy with my body, my face looked like a skull and I was always tired.
That's over now, but I do still feel fat even though I am not. I tend to wear loose clothes because of it, and always long sleeves. I do not own a pair of shorts. But at least I'm not starving anymore.

 

[Remedy]

Yes I have low self-esteem issues because of my looks just like mostly everyone here as well. My teeth are crooked and have been my whole life so I definitely want to get my teeth straightened some day. I have had acne for a long time and I'm trying to get rid of it but I also think I was just born ugly judging from the way girls always look at me but it might be in my head hopefully.

 

[NarcolepticInsomniac]

Part of my low self-esteem is from the way I look. Some people tell me that I look alot like my father (which depresses me since I'm a girl). I try my best to lose weight but it feels like I'm gaining it more than losing it. I don't smile because my teeth are a little spaced apart and there's a gap in my front teeth. I try to wear makeup, like concealor, eye liner, or eye shadow, but no one notices. Eventually, I'll try my best not to think about how ugly I am but I'm usually reminded of it due to my female friends complaining about "how unattractive they are", even though they can attract every guy within a ten mile radius. It also doesn't help when my "friends" say that I'm pretty when we all know that it's not true.

 

[mr p]

I do! But to what extent, I don't know.
It feels like this; if I look better I'll get more respect and be part of the group. Maybe get some girls giggling about me.
The problem is my face, it looks like the face of a baby (in spite of the beard!). And who respects a baby. Maybe testosterone injection would help.
But the biggest problem is my eyes. Eyes are really important in communication, especially intimate communication, and I think I've got a case of eyelid ptosis. It looks a bit offseted, too. Probably makes me look stupid. Plus, my eyebrows don't help :/ I wish I had symmetry!

 

[Badjedidude]

Hah, don't worry about things like that, Mr. P. One side of my face is slightly larger than the other...it's just genetics. You wouldn't notice it unless you were right up close, staring at my face, but...*shrug* lol don't be worried about those sorts of things.

Does it REALLY matter? Having slightly "off" eyes isn't going to impact what you can do with your life, is it? Only if you let it.

----Steve

 

[mr p]

Oh, well, I might lose opportunities. I want to minimize loss of opportunity. Plus, I've always been self-conscious about my eyes, they don't feel right. I had eye surgery done when I was a kid due to being born cross-eyed.
Though the baby face, what to do about it I'm thinking destroying my skin in the sun somehow.

 

[Badjedidude]

I'm thinking destroying my skin in the sun somehow.

LOL nooooo! You don't want to end up looking like Robert Redford. XD

Trust me...if you have such a babyface now, you'll probably look 50 when you're 70. You won't be complaining so much then!

I try to wear makeup, like concealor, eye liner, or eye shadow, but no one notices.

NOOOOO!! Don't wear makeup. I think it makes people ugly...and it destroys your skin. Seriously, girl look SOOOOO much better without paint on their faces. And I doubt that you're ugly. That's just your personal, biased feelings...we always think we look worse than we do.

----Steve

 

[dreamer8]

I know I'm overweight. I also know I'm beautiful inside and out,regardless to what anyone else thinks. I like things about myself physically; other things,not so much. I just don't understand why people can't see the beauty I know I posess.

It's irritating.

But I'm realistic. I'm very heavy,and I know with self control (which I'm already using,since I've lost 2 pounds in 2 days) I can change my outward appearance without use of drugs,surgery,or anything potentially detrimental.

 

[Badjedidude]

I'm very heavy,and I know with self control (which I'm already using,since I've lost 2 pounds in 2 days) I can change my outward appearance without use of drugs,surgery,or anything potentially detrimental.

HECK YAH you can! Just diet & exercise, ALL THE WAY!

I lost almost 60 lbs in one year doing that. I started at 222, now I'm at 166. ^_^ Keep it up, you'll be surprised at your progress!

----Steve

 

[Tyche]

Most of my childhood was spent being bullied because of my looks and weight, creating a few self-esteem issues. As i got older i realized though i would just have to deal with it, if they couldn't love me as i was they weren't worth more than a glance. I gain and lose weight so often, it has frustrated me into acceptance. I'll never be thin or have a perfect body, but i can still be beautiful as i am, heavy and scarred. I still want larger breasts though, and a couple more tattoos. I will admit that...

 

[Badjedidude]

NOOOOO!!! No huge boobies. Larger breasts are stoopid. -_- I honesly don't know why guys are (or profess to be) attracted to huge, balloon-like breasts. I guess that's an ingrained image of super-sexuality in our culture...but it's stupid and I don't agree with it at all. Big boobs actually turn me off.

----Steve