WHY ARE YOU HERE?

[redbeard 44]

Because I'm sick of talking to myself about my problems. I know I'm messed up and a loser in life, it's time other people know too.

 

[Jana]

I'm here because I'm lonely, of course. I never imagined my life ending up this way, but then who does? One thing led to another and here I am. I moved around a lot, got Lyme disease (am almost recovered, but it took years), my father who I was very close to died rather suddenly (my mother died about 20 years ago), my only sibling ditched me because she said I was going to kill myself so there is no point in having a relationship with me. So many things came together to lead me to where I'm at. Now I feel like I'm in a catch 22. I need friends to not be lonely, but who wants to be a friend to someone who has nobody? Also, I have trust issues which doesn't help.

 

[Aisha]

I'm here because I'm hungry right now, and I've done enough studying for the morning. But in general, because this is a good platform to talk without revealing too much, and because I can identify with other people's situations. I don't feel particularly lonely. I like being alone but sometimes, it's nice to be alone in company. Also, hello Jana. *Hug* I hope things improve for you.

 

[LoneStar1989]

I am here because there is no where I can be my authentic self except in an anonymous forum filled with strangers.

 

[0doc]

I'm not naturally very outspoken, so I rarely take the time to explain my motivations in Life.
This has lead to many assumptions being formed about me, by those around me attempting to 'fill in the blanks'.
Being thoroughly conditioned by years and years of TV and Hollywood, etc., they tend to assume the absolute worst about social introverts -- that we're pretty much all sinister conniving sociopaths.
Whenever they see me, or even hear my name, all of those horrible assumptions they've constructed immediately come to their attention. Subsequently, people often feel offended by my mere presence. Because these negative impressions make them feel miserable whenever they think of me, they end up perceiving me as the source of their own negative attitudes, and consequently resenting me for it.

My father and stepmother never learned how to fully love someone without imposing some level of control over that person's thoughts, feelings, values, life. They believe that a parent's duty is to shape their child into an 'improved' version of themselves. They never realized the possibility of loving us through actually getting to know their children on a personal level, and guiding and encouraging us in ways that support our natural interests, strengths, and talents. They basically decided that constant ridicule and belittlement is the primary job of a parent.
They feel personally insulted and even rejected that I'm an individual, who chooses to assess Life and the World for myself, forming my own conclusions, without first consulting any book or movie or popular song, etc. etc. -- that I cherish the things I naturally value in Life, despite whatever society pressures us to value instead. My parents feel abandoned and betrayed by me because of this. Their reaction to feeling that way is to abandon and betray me.

Common Measures of Success In Life:
-Wealth
-Popularity/Fame
-Attractiveness of One's Sexual Mate
-Cheerfulness
-Health & Vitality
-Personal Independence
-knowledgeability about the World
-Contentment in Life
-Inner Wisdom

I personally think the majority of society has these in the wrong order of importance.
I don't openly talk about it much because I respect others' freedom to choose their own paths and priorities, but it's clear to others that my values are different by the choices I make in Life. People take it very personally when I don't happen to find much worth in the things that they are striving for most in their own lives.


This is how I see "The Game" that some call 'social life':
"WINNERS": Striving to conquer; Feeling a false need to look down on others, and to have others who look up to them; 'Superiority Complex' -- blinded from Life by a personal sense of 'pride'.

"LOSERS": Striving to cope; Feeling jealous and cheated and resentful toward the "winners"; 'Inferiority Complex' -- blinded from Life by a personal sense of 'shame'.

"WELL WISHERS": Striving to appreciate; No interest in playing the game; No use for 'pride' nor 'shame' -- living in Clarity.


I'm here because I have virtually no sense of family or togetherness, aside from a couple good friends who are having similar experiences to my own, and I figure I stand a better chance of finding like-minded friends here, than anywhere else in my life at the moment.
If not, then at least maybe some of the perspectives I offer will be useful to you.

 

[boonieghoul]

I'm here because my father didn't think condoms were Christian. No wonder I'm an atheist.

 

[Nely Lo]

Because I'm lonely and I don't spend time with my friends anymore because I avoid going out... and when I'm here I have a feeling that I'm not so alone... and I needed a place to move from my other forum.

 

[Stonely]

You are here because your parents decided to birth you and your sperm defeated thousands of other sperm in the sperm race.

 

[surfeit]

I get to choose if I feel like socialising with people...

 

[blumar]

I'm here because my friends are older than me (50s) and at different stages in their lives, so relating can be difficult. Because the only people my age (30s) are my coworkers and have lives of their own. Because I have no one else and no where else to go. Because it's comforting to help and be helped.

 

[Blueforge88]

I kinda stumbled upon this forum by accident. I have struggled with Depression for half of my life with, OCD (Intrusive thoughts) occurring five years ago. Honestly, I wanted to reach out and meet people, perhaps make friends but, the more I read others post,
I feel I can relate to some degree and would just simply like to help them if I can. Another reason I use this forum is to ask questions
and get opinions because, if somebody is going through or has been through the same issue, i find it helpful if they have advice or can offer a situation of their own. I really enjoy this site, because in a a way I dont feel alone.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

I became annoyed with other depression/loneliness support sites and wanted to try this one. Meeting people wasn't actually a goal here, but a bonus. So far I met one person who can be considered a friend, as well as two other folks I talk to from time to time. Not so bad considering past forum experiences .

 

[Solitary of the fall]

Because I know I'm not the only one struggling with oneself and that I want to see other people like me, to have this feeling of belonging maybe.

 

[Cataplasme]

Because I want to be the very best like no one ever was.

 

[h3donist]

Because I was trapped in an unloving and unhealthy marriage and I was desperately reaching out to someone, anyone and found this place. Was probably the best thing I have ever done.

I am now happy and safe again - going to meet some fellow Lonely Life members in person next week! I now live alone but I haven't felt lonely once - it's a peaceful, restorative solitude where I am free to visit whomever I like or lock the world outside and be happy on my own.

I'm freeeeeeeee!

 

[PenDragon]

Still here...

 

[LonesomeDay]

I'm here because I can be myself here. I don't have to pretend that everything is ok in all aspects of my life. I find the Forum to be a place where I can relax and share my thoughts, feelings and experiences.

 

[dn560]

im here because i need councelling and well i dont want the public to know about the issues im having and really need a community that would support me through these dark times.

 

[Alana]

I'm here for the food.

I'm actually here because I typed lonely into a search engine and this place popped up. People typically don't stay in my life for very long.

 

[Nuzzy Nuz]

Just browsing through one of my favourite threads.