Hey, dude, it can happen. Don't you ever say 'never'. At least not for the next 10 years.
From the age of 20 I made a decision to consciously try and improve myself and bring myself up from a no-confidence, depressed, scrawny ******* to someone desirable with confidence and an enjoyable life.
I put on some muscle (still working on that), did some self discovery. Built my life up with work and activity, from scratch after moving to a tiny town a thousand miles from anything I'd ever known (it IS possible). I learned to be confident, though I'd lie if I said it never wavered.
I forced myself to talk to girls from time to time. Some I contacted online, some in person. I got to the point that I was getting about 3 'first dates' a year or so. But, nothing more. Never a 'second date'. But the important part was that I made myself
talk to a real girl, several times, and that was a MASSIVE LEAP. It's terrifying until you do it, then it's a huge confidence boost, and a reality check when one says 'no thanks' but you realize that you wake up the next morning and nothing is really different.
I'm 23 now. I'm still struggling with being able to actually date; as in, I doubt I could go flirt with girls and actually have anything come of it. But what
has happened isn't so bad. Somehow within my social circle, I seem to have attracted a pretty decent gal. I
got my second date, and more to come.
It CAN and DOES happen. It's a 90 degree climb for fellas like us, with rocks, loose dirt, lightning storm and high winds, and a hellish, demon-possessed bulldozer waits at the top to push us off; it's engine powered by the blood of the weak and the weary who came before and lacked the fortitude to meet victory.
But you and I actually -have- the fortitude. We just have to beat the bulldozer.
As usual my analogy is taking on a life of it's own, so I'll stop there before we go to bad places with it where nothing is relevant. But I hope I've made my point and encouraged you a little bit.
Tips on getting out and meeting people and building life experience/confidence/character:
-Having a regular job (try physical stuff like forestry work and such)
-Attending some sort of education (even if it's a community college)
-Become a volunteer firefighter or EMT (this worked wonders for me AND got me started in a career)
-Use online social tools like
www.meetup.com to find local interest groups
-Get flirty with female service workers. I got a phone number this way and probably could have had one the other night. Slow times are good for this, like later at night. It's great practice because you will likely never see them again.
-Save some money, go to the clothing store, even if it's a decent 2nd hand place. Find some nice clothes that make you look money, and realize you CAN look good.
-START WORKING OUT. My suggestion is to download the P90X workout program; or if you're a little over weight, just start with P90. But DO IT.
I hope I've helped.
Brian