Why Don't You Just Have One

[Ak5]

@Leaning and Good Citizen

Gentlemen please, it's not a race to see who's life is shittier.

 

[The Good Citizen]

@Leaning and Good Citizen

Gentlemen please, it's not a race to see who's life is shittier.

I'm happy with my life at the moment, my 2 boys mean the world to me and I wouldn't swap what I have to be 18 again? Not sure how you infer from that I think my life is shitty. Must be the side effect of your genius

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I think he means that I think my life is shitty.

Which it is, but anyway...

 

[Ak5]

^ Case in point.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

^ What do you mean by that?

 

[Ak5]

Was replying to what Good Citizen said.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

Now there's a ****** good idea, AFrozenSoul.
Tomorrow, I'm going right out to that cruel world and find the lady of my dreams, marry her, and my life will be a happy ending from there on.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I guess I just need to accept that life sucks sometimes, but it doesn't have to suck. If I want, I can be happy alone.

Around this time of year, it is especially hard to accept this. But it is very true.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Now there's a ****** good idea, AFrozenSoul.
Tomorrow, I'm going right out to that cruel world and find the lady of my dreams, marry her, and my life will be a happy ending from there on.

Well the work Deceiver is in your name. Plus a relationship does not mean marriage. It just means having someone in some way. You know place holders. Those who you pretend with.

 

[Zetsubou-Sensei]

Many of us aren't satisfied with having a "place holder" relationship,
And many of us have yet to find anyone with whom we feel we feel we can have a meaningful relationship, in spite of looking for such a person.
But we are nonetheless lonely, and want someone to understand us and maybe help us with that loneliness.
So we talk about it here, on ALL.
I don't see what's so surprising about that,
And I don't believe that posting a thread complaining about the aforementioned talking is really very useful here.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Well there are doers and thinkers. If all you are doing is thinking then you won't accomplish anything. Plus, if you are out dating. You will be exposed to other potential mates. The more people you are around the more chances you will have to find that someone.

I get the impression that so many people on here have so few interactions and relationships. That they think that anyone willing to look at them is that one. Most find fools gold and think it is real gold. No matter how wrong you actually are.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Interesting observation, AFrozenSoul.

I guess I am a thinker. I live in my own head sometimes, and tend to over analyze things.

The last girl who showed real interest in me ended up using me. That's the way things usually turn out for me.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Well it is just an observation/ You do not have to accept it.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I accept it.

I guess I just don't understand how relationships come about.

 

[Amnesiac]

So I am not trying to be offensive here, but I am getting kind of tired of people whining about how they have never had a significant other.

No kidding! A forum centered around loneliness is no place for that kind of thing.

I think I might hang around in the wheelchair users forum for awhile and tell some people that I'm sick of their garbage about not being able to reach the top shelf. "My legs were blown off in the war!" Well boo hoo. They seriously need to shut up and get off their asses.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

So I am not trying to be offensive here, but I am getting kind of tired of people whining about how they have never had a significant other.

No kidding! A forum centered around loneliness is no place for that kind of thing.

I think I might hang around in the wheelchair users forum for awhile and tell some people that I'm sick of their garbage about not being able to reach the top shelf. "My legs were blown off in the war!" Well boo hoo. They seriously need to shut up and get off their asses.

The problem is that, while a lot of people here are lonely, they have had boyfriends/girlfriends. So they can't relate to a guy like me, who has had none.

I get more empathy at another forum, where 90% of the forum has not had a girlfriend. But, then again, maybe there is a reason for that. Everything has a reason.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@LeaningIntoTheMuse: Well neither do I. However, I am sure if we tried a bit harder we might know why.. then again maybe some of us are just stupid.

@Amnesiac: Well in my defense. We have tons of research and tools to help people at least pretend to walk.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

The problem is that, while a lot of people here are lonely, they have had boyfriends/girlfriends. So they can't relate to a guy like me, who has had none.

I get more empathy at another forum, where 90% of the forum has not had a girlfriend. But, then again, maybe there is a reason for that. Everything has a reason.

I get exactly what you mean. I'd say it's debatably a more profound sense of loneliness when you've never had anyone ever.

You just start to feel that it's impossible or not "there" for you I guess. That sense of "this is never going to happen" at least fades through experience once someone's had a partner, even if they are lonesome for a long time afterwards.

And for me, unfortunately it's not as simple as just asking a girl I like out. The girl in question seems to have her own personal issues at the moment, so it's not the right time.

Plus, I have my work to think about (which already takes up most of my time), my family, potentially I'll need to get a side job soon to make some money. Circumstance is a large factor that I expect plays a big role in keeping people lonely in general.

I also have a strange element to my personality that I wrestle with when interacting with girls. I get so shy about anything sexual, it's like some part of me just doesn't want to open up to someone like that. I actually feel like even if I met the woman of my dreams, I wouldn't feel comfortable showing that side of me to her.

So people are complicated I suppose!

 

[putter65]

The problem is that, while a lot of people here are lonely, they have had boyfriends/girlfriends. So they can't relate to a guy like me, who has had none.

I get more empathy at another forum, where 90% of the forum has not had a girlfriend. But, then again, maybe there is a reason for that. Everything has a reason.

I get exactly what you mean. I'd say it's debatably a more profound sense of loneliness when you've never had anyone ever.

You just start to feel that it's impossible or not "there" for you I guess. That sense of "this is never going to happen" at least fades through experience once someone's had a partner, even if they are lonesome for a long time afterwards.

And for me, unfortunately it's not as simple as just asking a girl I like out. The girl in question seems to have her own personal issues at the moment, so it's not the right time.

Plus, I have my work to think about (which already takes up most of my time), my family, potentially I'll need to get a side job soon to make some money. Circumstance is a large factor that I expect plays a big role in keeping people lonely in general.

I also have a strange element to my personality that I wrestle with when interacting with girls. I get so shy about anything sexual, it's like some part of me just doesn't want to open up to someone like that. I actually feel like even if I met the woman of my dreams, I wouldn't feel comfortable showing that side of me to her.

So people are complicated I suppose!

I went 13 years without asking a woman out. I was too scared to, thought I was some kind of monster.

All I've done in the last year is ask women out for a coffee. lol

You have to accept rejection and have the attitude of not caring that much.

I remember when I first started serving people on a till. It scared me to death. Been doing it for 15 years now and it is second nature, so easy. I don't even think about it.

I hope they comes a time when asking women out become second nature. It is about practising and learning from mistakes.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I went 13 years without asking a woman out. I was too scared to, thought I was some kind of monster.

All I've done in the last year is ask women out for a coffee. lol

You have to accept rejection and have the attitude of not caring that much.

I remember when I first started serving people on a till. It scared me to death. Been doing it for 15 years now and it is second nature, so easy. I don't even think about it.

I hope they comes a time when asking women out become second nature. It is about practising and learning from mistakes.

Hey, thanks Putter

The biggest irony is that I think these girls would quite possibly say yes if I could bring myself to ask, you know? They seem interested. I just can't do it.

On top of the circumstance problem though, I also feel like I'd be a really lame boyfriend, which is a huge reason that I don't do it.

My life is boring at the moment - I play games, I do work, I watch movies, I work out. That's it :shy:

I'd feel bad for making a girl's like boring too. So every day I hold back, I don't ask what a girl's doing at the weekend, or if she wants to see a movie. I don't flirt or make jokey naughty comments.

I just lock that all away, pay some cursory return attention and think of all the negative potential consequences of having some excitement in my life for a change

If I see her again and she's all cuddly once more, I'll try my hardest to ask her to a film.