Why lonely people exists…

[callista_05]

It ranges from feelings of neutrality to miserable loneliness…

And then there’s the feeling of non-existence…

Wishing you were numb about how being alone overwhelmed your nothingness, keeping your mind preoccupied of rational thoughts hoping that somehow it can conceal the melancholy and hollowness that’s creeping you up inside.

But why do we have to suffer this much?

We all wonder why life might not even impose its unjust cruelty, but then most of us feels that life is just an unfair world to live in.

If money’s the root of all evils, is there such a thing that is root of all loneliness?

Are there selected people who are destined to be forever ‘miserably forsaken’?

Why misery exists?

Why are we lonely? Why am I lonely? Why are YOU lonely?

Is it the circumstances? Or is it just us that are not able to make the best out of everything we have?

Is it the question of contentment? Or is it just our social life’s blameworthiness?

 

[samba101]

Hey I like what you wrote, it really summed up alot for me.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Bluey]

I Or is it just us that are not able to make the best out of everything we have?

I think this one. Don't know why but I Guss a lot of the time I don't feel like being bothered to make the effort that's needed. I Guss there is a few reasons for that. 1, sometimes I don't think the person is worth being friends with. 2, My health, sometimes I get to physically tied. So don't go out when I could had done. And other things are I don't work so there for meet less ppl.

But I do think there are a number of reasons why I ended up being lonely. some things I could not have changed and still can not and never well be able to. Other things I suppose I could change and I am working on them things right now.

Welcome here BTW. I can already see your going to be an interesting member

 

[callista_05]

Hey I like what you wrote, it really summed up alot for me.

Welcome to the forum.

thanx 4 welcoming me hir…

 

[callista_05]

[/quote]
Welcome here BTW. I can already see your going to be an interesting member
[/quote]

thanx! I hope I could really be one… ;p

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm the way I am today becuase it's by chioce.
I no longer feel that impending doom.
Perhaps through circumstance that I see this world or life through fracture lens.
Once upon a time I felt I would never be alone and there is One that would stand by my side.
I feel forsaken but perhaps it is not I that's holding me up or carring me through this.
Life is unfair, but I'm not alone. Life did not single me out.
I feel great sadness becuase I love deeply.

Only Scarlett Jonhansson can make me feel ok again.lol
Lets just say I'm temping the ONe.

 

[Unacceptance]

Just like any other concept, these things exist for contrast.

Without loneliness, folks who are not lonely would not know it.

 

[Porman]

Is it the circumstances? Or is it just us that are not able to make the best out of everything we have?

For me its circumstances. All my friends moved for uni and I live in a small town. Its either circumstances or you are holding back, and to which you are the only one to blame.

To think people are destined to be lonely is to surrunder, and to except life as it is and not try for change. If you think like this, you will be lonely for every.

I think some of you put to much thought into lonelyness like its a disease/curse. For most of you its your inability to connect with people. Im very able to make friends, I just dont get the oppertunity to do so.

 

[callista_05]

Is it the circumstances? Or is it just us that are not able to make the best out of everything we have?

For me its circumstances. All my friends moved for uni and I live in a small town. Its either circumstances or you are holding back, and to which you are the only one to blame.

To think people are destined to be lonely is to surrunder, and to except life as it is and not try for change. If you think like this, you will be lonely for every.

I think some of you put to much thought into lonelyness like its a disease/curse. For most of you its your inability to connect with people. Im very able to make friends, I just dont get the oppertunity to do so.

In my case, I’ve been surrounded with friends and a very supportive family, but then I still feel a deep hollow carved inside me… if finding the cause of this emptiness that I’m feeling right now will actually solve the problem, where should I start?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It depends what you're belief system is.

That emptiness inside that you speak of I can kind of relate.
Some poeple seek a Higher Power or GOD to fill that emptiness becuase
nothing of this earth (people, places, & things) and possibly fill it or take that emptiness away.
People, places and things may fill that viod for a lttle while...but only a while.
That's why some people go shoping and buy new things all the time.
Or some people eat...they eat becuase they feel empty.
Some people get into relationship to fill that void.
Some people trun into workaholics.
An addictions of sorts or the many distractions to keep from feeling that viod.

A loving God..of course. It dosn't have to be religious..it can be spiritual.
It's a conception..you don't have to fully understand god or a HP.
The conception is a HP or GOD is limitless or greater than the void.

You simply just ask ur HP to releave you of the emptiness or viod you have so that
you may live and be productive or and an extension of that love.
Sometimes its 5 mins at a time. For the most part it's oneday at time.
It just takes practice.

The space or void inside that you feel...is no longer a vacumm.
It's actully a where LOVE shines through you.

The conception is that ..You're a child of GOD and it's your birth right.
Not only that you deverse that LOVE..it's your harritage.
You don't need to do anything or earn it.
You only need to Accept it...
It's like Atonement or being whole.

 

[anime girlboy]

That emptiness inside that you speak of I can kind of relate.
Some poeple seek a Higher Power or GOD to fill that emptiness becuase
nothing of this earth (people, places, & things) and possibly fill it or take that emptiness away.
People, places and things may fill that viod for a lttle while...but only a while.
That's why some people go shoping and buy new things all the time.
Or some people eat...they eat becuase they feel empty.
Some people get into relationship to fill that void.
Some people trun into workaholics.
An addictions of sorts or the many distractions to keep from feeling that viod.

it sounds like you're describing coping strategies or defense mechanisms. i think every one that you described except for getting into relationships is a negative way to deal with the problem of loneliness-by ignoring it. i dislike Christianity but if you believe in God thats okay i also eat when im sad, too. i try and get over it by inviting people around to eat with me, to cook for us both, which is usually cheaper and nicer.

i recommend one positive way to deal with loneliness without ignoring it or trying to deny it. meditation. no harm can come from meditating. it doesnt have to be religious or even spiritual, its just you, nobody else... it doesnt matter how many friends we have, when we're dead we're all alone, right?

one thing i like about travelling is that you get to see and explore places on your own. not just cities, but countrysides and fields and deserts and mountains. its not so much loneliness as it is solitude, but you're alone with earth and that feels awesome.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It just depends what your perception of spiritaulality is. I don't go to church either.

Yes, medition helps alot.
I enjoy a simple walk during a sunset or just being in the moment.
My favorite place to go is a park bench at night. It's under a tree over looking
a pond with a small waterfall. The way I mediate is not so much about god.
It's just about being in the moment. The presence, the now..not what's in my head.
Once i'm in the moment....there's nothing wrong. I'm just sitting in front of water fall
or watching a sunset.

I use to just get on my motorcycle ride out to nature..anywhere away from civilization
for a while. Sometimes I'll just ride into the mountain, claim a hill nd just sit on a rock over looking a valley.
It's peacful and quite. No right, no wrong, no pressure, no beliving in this or that, no this way
or that. It was a process of me learning to BE. It was a sort of spirataul retreat for me.
Some people call it soul serching. Yeah...sort of solitude.

I remember just laying in the grass in the middle of nowhere oneday...i saw a beautul flower
as tears ran down my face. I saw beauty in life again.

 

[callista_05]

That emptiness inside that you speak of I can kind of relate.
Some poeple seek a Higher Power or GOD to fill that emptiness becuase
nothing of this earth (people, places, & things) and possibly fill it or take that emptiness away.
People, places and things may fill that viod for a lttle while...but only a while.
That's why some people go shoping and buy new things all the time.
Or some people eat...they eat becuase they feel empty.
Some people get into relationship to fill that void.
Some people trun into workaholics.
An addictions of sorts or the many distractions to keep from feeling that viod.

one thing i like about travelling is that you get to see and explore places on your own. not just cities, but countrysides and fields and deserts and mountains. its not so much loneliness as it is solitude, but you're alone with earth and that feels awesome.

I've travelled alone outside the city once, and yeah, it felt awesome...it felt like i was at peace...

anyways, the meditation though, havent tried that b4...

 

[callista_05]

Seeing this thread a few months after posting it….i just realized that truly, HAPPINESS really is a CHOICE.

 

[Bluey]

Seeing this thread a few months after posting it….i just realized that truly, HAPPINESS really is a CHOICE.

Is it? I think to a certain degree it is. maybe for some it is moor so then for others. I think to be happy you must have a number of factors in your life.

Your health, Good friends and family. And good living. As in to keep worm and feed. And lots of other stuff maybe.

 

[callista_05]

Seeing this thread a few months after posting it….i just realized that truly, HAPPINESS really is a CHOICE.

Is it? I think to a certain degree it is. maybe for some it is moor so then for others. I think to be happy you must have a number of factors in your life.

Your health, Good friends and family. And good living. As in to keep worm and feed. And lots of other stuff maybe.

To an extent, yeah…it does matter to have those certain factors in your life…

But I guess…Happiness, like LOVE should be UNCONDITIONAL and a CONSCIOUS EFFORT…

Not that I’m saying that you should be contented about having less or should you crave for more…

Happiness is a state of mind…an intangible thing that is hard to achieve/attain….

 

[Bluey]

Seeing this thread a few months after posting it….i just realized that truly, HAPPINESS really is a CHOICE.

Is it? I think to a certain degree it is. maybe for some it is moor so then for others. I think to be happy you must have a number of factors in your life.

Your health, Good friends and family. And good living. As in to keep worm and feed. And lots of other stuff maybe.

To an extent, yeah…it does matter to have those certain factors in your life…

But I guess…Happiness, like LOVE should be UNCONDITIONAL and a CONSCIOUS EFFORT…

Not that I’m saying that you should be contented about having less or should you crave for more…

Happiness is a state of mind…an intangible thing that is hard to achieve/attain….

I think your could ask the most successful persons in the world that has all of the above and moor and they would say there is certain things in there life that there not happy with. So yes to a certain degree them things do matter. But for part of it I think your right you do have to have the right state of mind as well Its all about balance I think. Having a bit of everything. And one of them things that is important is to have a healthy mind as well.

 

[callista_05]

Seeing this thread a few months after posting it….i just realized that truly, HAPPINESS really is a CHOICE.

Is it? I think to a certain degree it is. maybe for some it is moor so then for others. I think to be happy you must have a number of factors in your life.

Your health, Good friends and family. And good living. As in to keep worm and feed. And lots of other stuff maybe.

To an extent, yeah…it does matter to have those certain factors in your life…

But I guess…Happiness, like LOVE should be UNCONDITIONAL and a CONSCIOUS EFFORT…

Not that I’m saying that you should be contented about having less or should you crave for more…

Happiness is a state of mind…an intangible thing that is hard to achieve/attain….

I think your could ask the most successful persons in the world that has all of the above and moor and they would say there is certain things in there life that there not happy with.

and I guess, the more you have something, the more tendency you’ll crave for more…happiness has a twin sister…and that’s contentment…

it's hard to be happy when you are not contented..

 

[Bluey]

Seeing this thread a few months after posting it….i just realized that truly, HAPPINESS really is a CHOICE.

Is it? I think to a certain degree it is. maybe for some it is moor so then for others. I think to be happy you must have a number of factors in your life.

Your health, Good friends and family. And good living. As in to keep worm and feed. And lots of other stuff maybe.

To an extent, yeah…it does matter to have those certain factors in your life…

But I guess…Happiness, like LOVE should be UNCONDITIONAL and a CONSCIOUS EFFORT…

Not that I’m saying that you should be contented about having less or should you crave for more…

Happiness is a state of mind…an intangible thing that is hard to achieve/attain….

I think your could ask the most successful persons in the world that has all of the above and moor and they would say there is certain things in there life that there not happy with.

and I guess, the more you have something, the more tendency you’ll crave for more…happiness has a twin sister…and that’s contentment…

it's hard to be happy when you are not contented..

T_T

 

[Lonesome Crow]

yeah..Unconditional Love. That's what I choose as my Higher Power or god.
Something to love me unconditionally inspite of me.
"Foot prints in the sand". Yeah sometimes I feel like I'm forsaken.
Yeah...JC felt like that when he was nailed to the cross.
I belive that's what he say " why have thou forsaken me ?"
Somethings is holding me up and carrying me through it all.
The pain of life on life's term is more than I can bare. (the cross)

what actaully happened before JC said "it is done" ?
I'm not sure becuase i wasn't there.
I'm thinking he Let Go and turned everything over.
will...as they say, he showed us the way

Belive it or not...I'm not really religiouse.
I attended church for many, many years as child and read the bible plenty.
I'm not suppost to nail the kid (inner child/soul) to the freaken wall...so i was told.
I don't know if that stuff is true...but common sence tells me...i shoudln't beat up on myself
or punish myself to the bitter end or hate myself. Perhaps love myself , charish myself and
learn from my mistakes. Yeah, love myself unconditionally as god would love me.
I guess that's a heck of responsibilty to have...lol
Or my higher self loving and caring for myself.
If i learned to love myself unconditionally and forgive myself for making mistakes (I make plenty of boo boos).
I'm far from perfect. Suely I can learn to forgive others and love them unconditionally for thier mistakes.

Acceptence is a son of a *****...I'm tellin ya.
However acceptence is also the key.
Can I accept that I'm a child of god made out of love and happiness ?
I'm the only person that's stopping me from doing that.
Will I allow myself to be happy ?....I'm the person that's stopping me from doing that.
Yeap..the world do tell me I'm always lacking something so they
can sell more stuff to me...lol

Will..i like to have a bad ass car to drive. i don't need it.
I want it. i guess that's why i have to get off of my ass and make
money.
Obviously if i want a partner in my life...a nice place
to live and money in the bank would be nice.

Happiness is a state of being...that's how i belive it.
BE happy.
I think it say " BE OF GOOD CHEERS FOR I'VE OVER CAME THE WORLD"
It's probably my favorite quote. It carried me through a lot and
I had a lot of happy moments in my life...wow I forgotten about that.
Yeah..i had to make a conciouse descision and practice it.
After a while..I was able to do it with grace.
Sort of like playing my guitar. It just takes practice to play certain
songs with grace or at ease. I have to work it...i guess.

Faith without works is dead.
I'm not sure if there's a god.
There's been events in my life that i can't explain away with logic.
it dosn't really matter to me anymore...I belive i'm heading in the right direction.
It's all good...heaven on earth. I just have to work for it.

Callista
I care about you very much.
It's ok for you to feel what you feel
It's ok for you to think what you think.
It's ok for to belive what you want to belive.
It's ok...

I hope you feel better and get well soon.