Why ?

[Ladysphinx]

I don't get it. I can blaber out my feeling to a total stranger but the minute I get to know them I tell them less and less of what I feel. I don't wanna be like that. Why do I trust a total stranger but not a loved one........ This is exactly what makes me feel so lonely, yet I can't over come this rediculous issue.

 

[Zeek]

Stop loving strangers and you'll be ok!!! lol

You're losing confidence to continue to share with your "new" strangers once you start having feelings for them. Maybe they are not affirming enough or giving you confidence to make you want to share?????? You're fearing the opening of the closet...and maybe are afraid of what they will think when they look inside. Without the affirmation or confidence, you will be scared.

When I care for someone I want them to know so they don't doubt it...so they feel secure....maybe that's what you're wanting? You want to feel secure before you will open up...or want to be made to feel secure.

 

[Psycrow]

Good point zeek

I was gona say something like that, so i will scoot off...bye

 

[Zeek]

Think of it also as an element of risk.....

There is no risk in offending a total stranger...You can tell them anything! But don't risk losing your "new friend"....so watch what you say to them....

These behaviors are coming from FEAR.

 

[evanescencefan91]

ya what zeek said

if you offended a stranger no worries you'll probably never see them again, but if you offend a friend or say something wrong, you feel maybe they won't talk to you again or honeysuckle,

i noticed the same thing, it was a lot easier for me to come out to people that i just met other than family or people I had known for a while longer

 

[Ladysphinx]

I think you guys are right, it's fear of being rejected for my feelings. I just feel so disconnected for others. It's like I'm looking at them through a one way mirror.

I'll do well for a while and just be happy but the slightest sadness can totally spiral out of control into feeling like I'm cut of from ppl. I really want to talk to someone but I can't get myself to open up. I just usually cut my self off from the world with my ipod on my ears 24\7 when this happens. This is part of way I found this forum.

 

[RavenRose]

I read in an article, I don't remenaer which, that some people have a problem with familiarity. When you get too close you get scared, then start a pattern of avoidance because of fear. I have the same problem, not limited to friends though - school, college, work and even basic social interraction all suffer.

Don't let it get that bad, it's a nightmare!

 

[Joseph]

This is a little out of context and maybe off topic, but I'll share it. My longtime ex had a similar personality trait.

The people who should have been the closest (family, significant other, children), the most dear, and the most important to her...she treated the worst and shared the least with and was emotionally distant from.

The people who should have been the most distant (acquaintances, coworkers, strangers on the street), she cared so much about what these people thought, and would do anything to keep them happy.

I never understood. Fortunately, I will never have to worry about it again.