When I am at a gathering of friends like a BBQ or something. Everyone seems to be so happy and I put on a smile (most of the time) just to look like I am one of them. All the while I really feel horrible and just want to run from the situation.
NumbNuts said:When I am at a gathering of friends like a BBQ or something. Everyone seems to be so happy and I put on a smile (most of the time) just to look like I am one of them. All the while I really feel horrible and just want to run from the situation.
nomisfive said:@ Van
Many nights I've cried due to those thoughts, it is one of the most horrible thoughts there is. So many that I've lost count.
I know I will die alone. Why? Because I am too different for a woman or any person to want to get close to me or be with me.
nomisfive said:The other worst kind of lonliness for me, which is the one I face most frequiently, is feeling empty from the thoughts of knowing that I am alone and will never meet or be with that special someone. It makes my mind fall into a dark hole and due to that I do things that I regret deeply, which in turn kills my self estem and even sometimes causes self hate. (these regretful things I do would probably seem silly or nothing to get bothered about by some but I have a moral standard and to fail on your own beliefs and personal standards is shattering to the mind and emotions)
I did it again today and I feel so low and worthless of myself, yet at the same time I know there's a strength inside of me that can over come it but I never seem to reach it.
blue_azure said:That's exactly what I feel! *sigh*
I feel like I could have been strong but I just let the tears flow every night.
nomisfive said:blue_azure said:That's exactly what I feel! *sigh*
I feel like I could have been strong but I just let the tears flow every night.
It's not easy and it only makes things feel worse too but you can't help it. I know I can't. When the tears come everything comes out.
Some hugs for you
blue_azure said:Aww... You're so nice! *hugs* for you too.
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