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How long do normal people stay single for?
12-10-2009, 02:14 PM
Post: #1
How long do normal people stay single for?
So this past year I've been doing my best to grow and break out of my shell and meet new people. I'm still a painfully shy person, but at least now I have some confidence. Enough confidence to be happy with my life single or not.

But I'm at a point now where I know I need to start dating. And I know I can be successful at it.

The frustrating part is that it's such a long and drawn out process. Finding the right place to go, or the right words to say, or the right times and places to touch her, all for someone that is in all likelihood seeing three other guys ahead of you anyway.

Realistically, I only have time to schedule one date a week anyway. Assuming that I was actually able to meet one new completely random single person every week to ask for a date (which I have yet to figure out how to do), it seems like with all the odds stacked against us, it could take months or years before I find someone that is actually worth sticking around for.

Are normal people this patient? Does everyone really go through this?

How are there so many people in relationships if it is such a grueling task just to start one?

Well thanks for letting me spill my thoughts all over the place here........


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12-10-2009, 04:41 PM
Post: #2
RE: How long do normal people stay single for?
I've always found for me that it ends up being someone already in my life somehow, whether its a friends friend, a friends boyfriends friend, someone i go to work/school/church with like ive seen them before a few times... i guess thats pretty normal but i'm only one person so i dont really know if thats normal haha. Its been a long time since ive been on a new date though Toungue the last one lasted almost 5 years, im very loyal haha. This is just my opinion and hope it doesn't offend anyone (to each thier own, cheers!) but i don't think its normal to date multiple people at one time, thats a little complicated to get to know someone when ur trying to remember which one it was that you took to whatever place... etc haha I would never want someone to date someone else if they were dating me so I wouldn't do that to them
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12-11-2009, 12:13 AM
Post: #3
RE: How long do normal people stay single for?
you say it like it's torture to go on a date.

like a kerosene fire in a tobacco shed

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12-11-2009, 04:12 AM
Post: #4
RE: How long do normal people stay single for?
Most people view dating as a much more casual process than you seem to. Its one of those things that you dont need to have a "schedule" in order to accomplish. For most people getting a date is as simple as finding a person they are attracted too, and then seeing if that person will go out to dinner with them or something.

I think for you to have a better chance of having a sucessful relationship, you need to think of dating as more of an enjoyable experience than as a "job".
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12-13-2009, 04:42 PM
Post: #5
RE: How long do normal people stay single for?
That's true. The harder you try, the more 'difficult' or impossible it may seem.

A guy friend of mine once used to date a lot of women and I've always marvelled at that coz I mean, like wow...where'd you find the guts to ask that many women out?

He sat down with me one day over lunch, calmly looked at me over the table and smiled slowly, telling me it isn't like he was always successful the first time he asks a woman out. What I've seen is the number of times he's succeeded. What I've not seen his how many times he fell.

So....have at it! Ask the next girl who catches your eye out. If you fail, don't let it thump you down, k? Sometimes, you gotta fall a few times before you get it right...kinda like learning how to ride a bike. Now how many people can say they've learnt how to ride a bike without ever falling? You just gotta pick yourself up and try again. And be brave enough to try again Smile

~ This Penguin's One Fry Short of A Happy Meal ~
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12-14-2009, 07:06 AM
Post: #6
RE: How long do normal people stay single for?
As long as it takes.. I date in spurts.. I may date a few get burned out and I may not date again for a year or two, that is if no one crosses my path that I think is worth the time...
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12-14-2009, 03:48 PM
Post: #7
RE: How long do normal people stay single for?
"...kinda like learning how to ride a bike. Now how many people can say they've learnt how to ride a bike without ever falling? You just gotta pick yourself up and try again. And be brave enough to try again "

haha when i was little i used to get mad at my bike for throwing me off so i would drag it by one handlebar through a puddle and kick it HAHAHAHAHA one day i left it in the puddle for spite and it got run over and i was so sad i started crying LOL bike funeral!! hahahahah true story im so dumb haha!!!
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12-14-2009, 03:48 PM
Post: #8
RE: How long do normal people stay single for?
As far as i can see it seems like normal people go like a month or two before they are in a relationship again. Or at least that is how my friends are when it comes to dating and relationships. I do agree with if you try harder it will only become harder to find someone special. Like many people say "it will happen when you least expect it". I agree with the others that you are making it too much of like a painful thing to go on a date. You just have to keep trying and who knows maybe you will find a special person sooner than later if your mind is set on it. It may be frustrating though going on dates as a shy person who hasn't been on many since we don't know exactly what to do.
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12-15-2009, 01:26 AM (This post was last modified: 12-15-2009 01:27 AM by h i.)
Post: #9
RE: How long do normal people stay single for?
i didnt really fall when i rode my bike. i went slow. if things started to go wrong i just stopped. learning how to brake before you move forward helps control. i think to many people rush when they dont know how to control themselves. i guess thats my problem. i keep to myself and perfect to much. it does seem like irresponsible decisions are rewarded. like asking a hundred women out, and rushing to experience everything you can. how dreamy. Smile

becky thats cute. lol. i did that with a little push scooter. id get so frustrated that i would just drag it behind me on the walk home, then throw it near the porch when entering the home and force it to stay outside in the wet and cold until tomorrow.
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12-15-2009, 02:30 AM
Post: #10
RE: How long do normal people stay single for?
yup..its a waiting game..but when you find someone good.. you realise the wait was very much worth it Toungue


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