What is your idea of "romance"?

I got thinking about this today and I was thinking it might be great to share some views.

I think I have a pretty simple, laid back approach to romance. I kind of cringe at the typical sort...roses petals on a bed and trips to Paris (though the Pixar film Ratatouille did make me want to go for the first time ever and not *just* because I found Peter O'Toole's critic character strangely sexy...). I think it's all about the little things and just knowing they thought about you. Personal things that only mean something to you.

Also do you think it's harder for women to be romantic to men? I mean flowers and chocie's aren't going to go down that well in man land are they?! I think I can see where this question is going but anyway...

I've tried to be romantic with men or at least do little things to make them feel thought about but I think its harder for girls to show it personally.

I'm very romantic person.

I also like rose petals on the bed and trips to Paris. ^_^

I would to love get rose bouquet or box of chocolates from someone, aww...

And those evening walks hand in hand.

annik said:

I got thinking about this today and I was thinking it might be great to share some views.

I think I have a pretty simple, laid back approach to romance. I kind of cringe at the typical sort...roses petals on a bed and trips to Paris (though the Pixar film Ratatouille did make me want to go for the first time ever and not *just* because I found Peter O'Toole's critic character strangely sexy...). I think it's all about the little things and just knowing they thought about you. Personal things that only mean something to you.

Also do you think it's harder for women to be romantic to men? I mean flowers and chocie's aren't going to go down that well in man land are they?! I think I can see where this question is going but anyway...

I've tried to be romantic with men or at least do little things to make them feel thought about but I think its harder for girls to show it personally.

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I'd agree with the simple approach to romance, at least that's how I envision it. If and when I one day have a girl, I'd like to occasionally give her some flowers just as a gesture and suggest trips out to places, but I think really it's stuff like just holding hands, having walks through the country together and so on that I find the most romantic in nature, not really the huge expensive holidays or gold jewellery.

In fact, if you look at particularly unhappy rich couples, it's usually because they've tried to substitute "perfect romance" for those simple activities that bring genuine pleasure because they show that someone really cares.

As for food gifts not going down well with men, you're kidding right? The real difference is that men want deliciously cooked and marinaded animal products, not chocolate

Any girl that buys or cooks me a nice steak would officially be in my good books for ages and could rest assured that I'd be very happy indeed. I'm actually feeling happy thinking of that ever happening!

More seriously (sort of, I meant that stuff about the steak! ) I think it depends on the man too of course. I'm quite a sensitive sort with simple tastes, so I'd also be well pleased with just some nice clothed snuggling up on the sofa with a DVD or something, or a picnic in the sun. What could be more genuinely romantic than that?

It could also be that my somewhat more innocent expectations are down to my loneliness and naivety though.

My more uninhibited and experienced male acquaintances generally conform to the rather less sophisticated opinion of "moar secks = romantslol"

In general though, I think the idea that men don't "get" romance from girls unless it's rude in nature is incorrect.

I'd be over the moon just for her to hold hands with me and look at the stars actually, makes my heart leap thinking of it!

I don't know... Simple yes. Just... being able to have that connection. Holding their hand and feeling like this is what it is supposed to be like... Just relaxing somewhere, without expectations or worries... But really to me, romance is easier defined than love is... because love cannot be explained; it is undefined

FunkyBuddha said:

When I can tell that a woman focused all of her being and thought into a single action towards me and they know full well I would never ask for it or think less of her for not doing it. Regardless if it turned out completely wrong and disastrous. And to find a woman that I would do that for... that is my ideal romance.

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You mean sort of like, an unexpected but clearly thoughtful action?

Because I was just about to say, it's kind of the spontaneous nature of a gesture that makes it so romantic I think.

If my theoretical girlfriend was just to walk up out of the blue completely unannounced one day and say "Hey" *Kiss* "I cooked a juicy steak for dinner" *Hand hold* "Now let's go see the stars." I'd probably faint from the amount of awesome.

EDIT -

Oh, and this is as good a place to ask girls stuff too I suppose. I'm something of an amateur magician, and I had an idea for a really sweet trick. Would you find it romantic? Here it is:

You get your girl to touch a deck of cards. All the hearts come out of the deck. You get her to pick one, and tell her to hold it up and close her eyes tightly. You move in, gently take her hand holding the card and move it slowly down to her side, then lean in and give her the most ridiculously passionate kiss ever.

Would you consider that heart-racingly awesome, or crap? Because I currently plan to do it when I feel the time is right one day

Nothing says romance like looking at stars. Maybe because I've been looking at them alone all my life, and usually wishing someone was there with me. Instead, whenever I look at stars, I just sing to myself.

TheSolitaryMan said:

FunkyBuddha said:

When I can tell that a woman focused all of her being and thought into a single action towards me and they know full well I would never ask for it or think less of her for not doing it. Regardless if it turned out completely wrong and disastrous. And to find a woman that I would do that for... that is my ideal romance.

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You mean sort of like, an unexpected but clearly thoughtful action?

Because I was just about to say, it's kind of the spontaneous nature of a gesture that makes it so romantic I think.

If my theoretical girlfriend was just to walk up out of the blue completely unannounced one day and say "Hey" *Kiss* "I cooked an awesome steak for dinner" *Hand hold* "Now let's go see the stars." I'd probably faint from the amount of awesome.

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Spontaneity is fine. Adversely if my mind is focused solely upon showing my significant other that she is all I'm thinking about and vice versa, I don't care if the relationship forms over ten years or ten minutes. I want that. If your random girl is what you want then best of luck Solitaire, haha.

But sometimes romance is just sitting on the couch and watching TV together. I won't know a romantic moment until after it has happened if it's something like that.

From experience I have to try to be romantic, it doesn't seem to come natural. I would like someone who makes me want to try.


My 'ideal' romance is so un-ideal that I don't have to worry about it happening .

TheSolitaryMan said:

It could also be that my somewhat more innocent expectations are down to my loneliness and naivety though.

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I'm pretty much stuffing you in a box and stealing you, cos you sound lovely!

I mean romance wise how was this? When my last boyfriend came home to Yorkshire from the "rock" he'd been on off the south coast I wrote him a letter and sent it so he'd have it when he got there as I couldn't be there. I was just basically saying that I couldn't wait to meet him and how much better my life was knowing him. That seems to be what the men here are saying? Unexpected but thinking about him?

I mean he was mad on photography and even after we broke up when I was returning the cameras he lend me I gave him one of mine too because he'd always wanted one like it. I tried really hard not to let shyness stop me doing stuff.

I do think there are some men that think romance lives in there pants though, I've definitely met men like that.

Plus I think when people try to do things for you even if they get it a bit wrong you should still know they tried. One ex of mine kind of took the piss when I tried something for him and didn't get it perfectly right. I was not happy.

Oh man I suck at romance, lol. That was a beef every single girlfriend I ever had had with me! I am about as sentimental as a bag of rocks.

The one they hated the most? Me calling up from work going "hey its valentines day today, where should I book for dinner?"

Evidently I was supposed to surprise them....

Limlim said:

Evidently I was supposed to surprise them....

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You see that wouldn't nark me, I'm cool with that!

annik said:

TheSolitaryMan said:

It could also be that my somewhat more innocent expectations are down to my loneliness and naivety though.

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I'm pretty much stuffing you in a box and stealing you, cos you sound lovely!

I mean romance wise how was this? When my last boyfriend came home to Yorkshire from the "rock" he'd been on off the south coast I wrote him a letter and sent it so he'd have it when he got there as I couldn't be there. I was just basically saying that I couldn't wait to meet him and how much better my life was knowing him. That seems to be what the men here are saying? Unexpected but thinking about him?

I mean he was mad on photography and even after we broke up when I was returning the cameras he lend me I gave him one of mine too because he'd always wanted one like it. I tried really hard not to let shyness stop me doing stuff.

I do think there are some men that think romance lives in there pants though, I've definitely met men like that.

Plus I think when people try to do things for you even if they get it a bit wrong you should still know they tried. One ex of mine kind of took the piss when I tried something for him and didn't get it perfectly right. I was not happy.

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Aww, that first line made me ridiculously happy, thank you! Now where is this box, and how much do I have to squish myself to climb in?

As for your letter, yeah, that's definitely sweet. I bet he was really happy to get that?

For the less innocent side of romance, I don't know if men perhaps have a different attitude to that sort of thing than women given to them by society? I'm not sure that the actual acts are always viewed as romantic, I think it's more like the devotion from a lady in performing them that is really, really attractive to your average guy.

Unfortunately some guys seem to be out of sync with the emotional side of things and misinterpret the acts themselves as being the be all and end all of "romantic" rather than the connotations of them to begin with, which leads to a sort of unpleasant, stale and kind of unfulfilling thing. If that vague male-perspective explanation makes any sense at all

Phew, I think I actually got through my feelings there without being too rude! :shy:

Edit-

Oh, and taking the mickey when someone gets a romantic gesture "wrong"? I'd say that's a bit out of line, really. At the best insensitive, at worst just plain nasty. Sounds like the guy probably didn't deserve such a gesture in the first place!

TheSolitaryMan said:

Aww, that first line made me ridiculously happy, thank you! Now where is this box, and how much do I have to squish myself to climb in?

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Yay I'm glad it made you happy instead of petrified! Don't worry its a pretty big box!

TheSolitaryMan said:

As for your letter, yeah, that's definitely sweet. I bet he was really happy to get that?

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I think he was quite blown away yes. What annoyed me a little is it still didn't work out and I still ended up being the *****. You start to wonder just what you have to do. Plus you also realise no matter how hard you try as soon as things turn a bit sour most people just aren't going to remember all the nice things you did.

TheSolitaryMan said:

For the less innocent side of romance, I don't know if men perhaps have a different attitude to that sort of thing than women given to them by society? I'm not sure that the actual acts are always viewed as romantic, I think it's more like the devotion from a lady in performing them that is really, really attractive to your average guy.

Unfortunately some guys seem to be out of sync with the emotional side of things and misinterpret the acts themselves as being the be all and end all of "romantic" rather than the connotations of them to begin with, which leads to a sort of unpleasant, stale and kind of unfulfilling thing. If that vague male-perspective explanation makes any sense at all

Phew, I think I actually got through my feelings there without being too rude! :shy:

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I think you may have hit the nail on the head with that first paragraph and I can sort of see the romance in the thought rather than the act. I think thats the sticking point though because as you say some men focus more the acts.

Nope not rude at all!

Edit...yeah I know I thought it was pretty off too. Grumpy!

FunkyBuddha said:

I need like a dozen creepy little kids to sing songs about annik and Solitaire k-i-s-s-i-n-g in a tree...


Be right back...

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He he, funny!

To me romance is an ongoing state between 2 people.

Experinced....

Strolling on the beach looking for seashells.
Making out under the moon light and stars.
Kicking back on the rocks watching the waves crashes the sand during a beautiful sunset.
A sunday drive up to the mountains, hiking, stolling.
Drew her name and mine in a snow during a snow strom.
Go parking out in the country and make love.
Make her bubble bath with Rose peddles.
Stay in bed all weekend and just make love.
Both stripped naked and ran around in the forrest pretending were adam and eve.
Plenty of night out at fancy Resturants.
Plenty of making love in public.
The only couple on the dance floor slow dancing in a small bar.
Playing in the rain together...
Making her breakfest in bed.
Sending her flowers and balloons to work all the time just becuase.
Dancing and making out in the gorcery ailes.
Hanging out in arcades like little kids just luaghing and joking.
Holding her wherever as we both watch as beautiful sunset.
Cudding with her near a fire place on a cold winter night....
Picking the nighbour's rose and ringing the door bell as if Im asking her out for the first
time again...even though we lived together for years.
Writting her a love song.
Dancing with her the sounds of silence...only to the sounds of our own heart beat.
Plenty of candle light dinner.
Plenty of picknic
Plenty of weekend get away.

The list gose on and on and on and on.
I cant list them all...but I'm pretty sure I can come up with at least 100 romantic moments
in my life. it's probably in the thousands for me.

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To me its like creating music..
You can create romance at any time.
it probably becuase Im a romancer.
Im in love with love. I like the feeling of being in love....

Its probably women fall in love with me...

I had a book of tips and ideas to creat romance...it helped me. I simply apply some of those ideas..

Its easier to create romance when my partner is in love with me...
It like were in our own little word...

such as... I used to sit Renae on the Bar counter.( most people arnt allow to sit on the bar counter) and just make out with her for hours....
Then we would get excited and go have sex in the womens bathroom...

Pople wpould actually watch us go in and out. Sometimes Were just get all crazy...dance, make out..etc..etc.
People would actaully clap and throw money at us.. LMAO

Hint....
One rose is what u bring home or
put on the passenager car seat when u take her places....

A dozen roses or balloons is what u send to her work...This way she can show off to all her firends...that she has a man thats in love with her.

Get lipstick for the 99 cent store....
Write I love you or whatever on
the bathroom mirror when u leave for work

Go window shopping with her...to some of her faviote clothing stores...let her pick out whatever she wants ...shell give you a fashion show. LOL
U gatta make sure u have at least enough momney for 1 outfit for her though....

Sometimes my women gives me a private dances. They put on different sexy out fits.. It makes her feels sexy and romantic at the sametime. You just gtta roll with it..becuase she's trying to do her part to spice up the relationship.

Other times its just having a pillow fight...

A good way to figure out what someone else might find romantic is to figure out their "love language." Read below.
Some people have more than one, and maybe all of these.

lmao, do something for me that I dont have time to do or find distasteful. THAT is romatic. lol


Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
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^^^That's a pretty good description, methinks.