A story of someone too sensitive: collapse of an awesome weekend

[Stranger]

Hi everyone!

I'm pretty new here. I am lonely, although maybe not as lonely as some (HUGS TO ALL ) I'm a student living far, far away from home... it's hard for me to make friends because I get hurt really easily by what people do or say... I trust people at first, but after they hurt me, I push them away and never forgive. I take any criticism very personally. Here's a story of how the awesomest weekend ever (from this friday until today) turned awful in minutes:

This friday, saturday and sunday I was volunteering at a large sporting event. I was sooo excited… On friday I was assigned the least important job – I thought that was because I was new. On saturday I was assigned the least important job again... I was starting to lose my confidence, but I was doing my best to brush it off and enjoy the experience.

On sunday I was called in, but kept on as an extra It was anticipated that exras wouldn't be needed that day. Amazingly, in the afternoon they suddenly needed 3 extras!!! I was so happy to finally do something. But the boss took my assignment (literally out of my hands) away and gave it to someone else who already had an assignment earlier that day I was so upset, I almost wanted to cry. I couldn’t believe that I could make the impression of being so incapable (I don’t think I’m incapable, but what other explanation could there possibly be!?) (I handled my fri. and sat. assignments well and didn't make any mistakes, unlike some people...)

I went to watch the event because I didn’t have anything else to do. I got closer to take some pictures… then one of the organizers told me to move out of there because that spot was for real photographers. Most people don't pay any attention to remarks like that, but I get really hurt by them for some reason. I felt so bad that I grabbed my coat and left before any tears could escape.

I know it’s just a stupid volunteering thing and I don’t have to deal with those people ever again, but it's the evening now, and I've been suffering since that incident in the early afternoon, and I don’t know how to get out of this state. I just want to stay in bed and not do anything I'm also afraid that being upset over the stupid organizers will make me less interested in the sport itself. My only relief is that I didn’t break out crying in front of all of those people. How can little things hurt so much? How do I become less sensitive? Thank you for listening. Any support very, very appreciated...

 

[Naleena]

It does seem like you were underappreciated. There are so many places begging for people like you. I'm sure you wouldn't have trouble finding people who would be greatful for your service
I can suggest a few, if you are interested. I think for me, no job of service is more imporatant than another Your job and your service was just as valuable as anyone out there.

Oh, and welcome BTW

 

[evanescencefan91]

i have the same problem with the little things,

after being told i couldn't donate plasma due to lack of a letterhead

i was contemplating jumping into the river, seriously it ruined my friday

being ditched ruined my saturday

that is great of you to volunnter I'm sorry you got a lame job

it sucks it's bullshit, watch some tv and sleep you will still resent but you will feel a different mood

*hugs*

 

[Stranger]

Thank you so much for the positive messages!!! They really helped me. Naleena, you're very kind I went outside and got some exercise. I decided that I want to be like the amazing athletes I saw at the competitions, not like the cranky organizers (hence the exercise ) Now I'm going to sleep... tomorrow will be better.

Evanescencefan, I love your banner! Sooo cool and funny! I can't believe you also get upset about little things! I thought I was the only one who did that! Sorry about you being ditched. Whoever did that is just a jerk, and who cares about jerks? The thing is that volunteering was pretty amazing - the whole time I was so happy and really inspired by all the professional athletes to get in shape and be like them... until that thing happened Sunday... so yes I totally understand how it's possible to contemplate jumping into a river after being turned away from some office! I've also considered that when a store clerk refused to sell me a cell phone plan cos I was 18 and not 19...

 

[Brian]

Hey Stranger,

Well, if they needed someone for the spot, it wasn't unimportant. I volunteer with a local fire district and one of our peculiarities is that we're the only department in the county that does traffic control on accident scenes. Despite being one of the most active members and having a good handful of qualifications for my age, I get stuck on traffic control on a lot of vehicle accidents. I don't complain about it because that's just how things are and I know I don't have the qualifications yet to be cutting cars open. But one night the Captain stuck me out there with a road sign instead of a new guy which kind of made me raise an eyebrow. He picked up on that I think, because he explained to me later that due to the high traffic flow he wanted someone reliable handling that. In the wrong hands, that task can actually cause a second collision.

So it's not always about whether or not you're competent. It's sometimes about level of experience, or what a supervisor thinks you're suited for.

Another example would be that during my first year, I usually got stuck running the pump on brush fires. But I persevered and kept with things, and now I get the nozzle or perimeter watch. And because I persevered and showed good work ethic and attentiveness, I've actually been given command of a few small non-emergency operations.

If you keep at it and don't show that you're discouraged, show that you're eager to do whatever is assigned, people like that. That's how you move up.


As for criticism, you really have to put yourself in the mindset to use it constructively. If you can, try doing what I did...ask for criticism after doing something you haven't done before. Ask, 'What could I do to improve my performance?' People in charge respect that as long as you're professional or casual about it and don't try to suck up with it. It shows you want to learn, and it lessens the sting you might be feeling from the criticism.

Also remember, sometimes people in charge of something are under a bit of stress because of the responsibility, and that makes them snap a bit. I've yelled at guys before under stressful situations. But they know I'm still their friend once we're done with what we're doing.

Little things upset me too though, sometimes, despite everything. I have a new supervisor at work who, the other day, basically said if we get a fire, he's grabbing the hose and I'm getting the pump going, then following him in. Now, I'm used to a little more trust than that. But I have to remind myself that he has 23 years in this business, and I have 4. And he hasn't worked with me much yet. So again, even though he's outright said he likes having me on his shift, it's a matter of proving myself.

Hope that helps

 

[h i]

that kind of stuff bothers me too. im needy. i can handle insults cause at least theyre paying attention to me. but when im excluded, it hurts. i would of just left if they didnt have anything for me to do. i do that at work. when im just standing around im always the first to volunteer to leave because if im not wanted, then i dont want to be there. ive been upset by people not quoting or responding to my responses, yet responding to other peoples. (jealousy) i had a thing for the skele-animals during halloween and no one else did and that upset me. getting upset over just a difference of opinion with stuffed animals. different things for different people.

 

[coricopat]

I tend to get ignored and overlooked and I'm not sure why, but I agree with you that it does hurt. The weird thing is, I feel like if I wasn't so sensitive about it, it probably wouldn't happen to me. Does that make sense?

 

[Stranger]

Coricopat, I think it is totally true. I think that some people are mean, and they would be more tempted to hurt you if they knew that you were sensitive. Many grown-ups are secret bullies who enjoy hurting the weak. But... I try just not to think about them. Otherwise life seems too depressing There is a quote from my favourite movie, where the protagonist (a cool hero slaying monsters) talks to his friend who's travelling with him: "Good people are very few. Seek them, remember them. Don't get focused on the [bad] people because life's too short for that"

I just wish this kind of advice was easier to put into practice...

Thanks again for the responses, guys! Hi, your comment is really insightful too. I know, getting hurt over little things sucks! You can't even complain to anyone about it, cos they probably wouldn't take you seriously!

 

[Remedy]

I agree with that if you weren't to sensitive it probably wouldn't happen to you as much. I can understand though that its a lot easier said than done because I get upset over the littlest things as well. Its almost as if some people try to get at you to test you to see if you are sensitive and than when they find out they do it more and more.

 

[evanescencefan91]

Evanescencefan, I love your banner! Sooo cool and funny! I can't believe you also get upset about little things! I thought I was the only one who did that! Sorry about you being ditched. Whoever did that is just a jerk, and who cares about jerks? The thing is that volunteering was pretty amazing - the whole time I was so happy and really inspired by all the professional athletes to get in shape and be like them... until that thing happened Sunday... so yes I totally understand how it's possible to contemplate jumping into a river after being turned away from some office! I've also considered that when a store clerk refused to sell me a cell phone plan cos I was 18 and not 19...

ahh thanks stranger



I'm glad you like it

i hope the you had a better week, if not soon we'll get a new one, and in fact not far away is a whole new year and decade to start anew and try again