Active ways to work on them?

[Pheenix]

I do some cognitive exercises every day. Self-confidence boosting, relaxation, reading lots of practical books, on the subject, etc. And I do get exposed, I go to school every day, and am looking for extra groups to join.
Even so, aren't there active ways to improve social skills and self-confidence when at home?
Right now, I am planning of booting up a 4-player cooperative game on my Xbox, with the goal of talking as much as I can, making as many people happy as possible, and as a result, get and maintain online friends. Not to substitute real friends with online friends, but to have... practice dummies, basically.
Even so, this doesn't sound like the most productive way to get this accomplished. Is there perhaps a more direct way to work on your social skills?
And by work I mean that you do know what the problems are, they just persist because you are used to them, or panic and respond instinctively in social interactions.
Self-confidence being the main problem. Practicing speech habits is easy, but making sure that they actually come out when someone hits you up is something else.

 

[PsychoBilli]

It seems like being around people as much as possible would be the best way. You're not going to click with everyone you come across, so it could feel like you're not making progress when there's situations where there's no progress to be made. Getting out there in as many different avenues as possible will increase your chances of finding situations that will work out and provide the appropriate challenge.

Getting on Xbox might not be an all bad idea if you're using communication skills you want to build. If it seems like it's not helping, then it might not be challenging enough for you. So you'll want other places to go. Going out to clubs or coffee shops could be a places to check out. Try to spot people who might be in the mood to talk and see if you can strike up a conversation. Libraries or community events might be an option, too. Even a trip on the city bus. I go to support groups and try to chat people before and after the meetings.

The idea is just to be around people and learn to be comfortable with what you're trying to accomplish. That won't happen without practice, and you won't find your niche if you don't try lots of options.

 

[JonJon]

It seems like being around people as much as possible would be the best way. You're not going to click with everyone you come across, so it could feel like you're not making progress when there's situations where there's no progress to be made.

+1

The more time you spend around people the faster you will improve. I find that when doing these kind of things progress is so slow, you don't even notice it. It can feel like you are going nowhere, but give it a few months time looking back you will start to see some progress. the worst thing you can do is to stop trying - thats the only way you can fail.