I've been feeling horrible for the past week or two. I've been trying to solve it on my own, like always but no luck. It's gotten bad to the point that I even got panic attacks from it, headaches, skipped some meals, etc..
I myself know how I should not think, however I can't fix it.
There's no external reason this time, I just hate myself again for being myself, basically.. and for pushing everyone away, voluntarily or not.
Despite what I say or do, I don't have any real problems, or at least, they are all caused by myself and myself only.
They say everybody's got ups and downs.. and that's true.. but I can't seem to be able to overcome my "downs" in a normal way.
I hate everything about myself.. some things I had managed to change, but overall nothing is changed. If anything I only blame myself over and over again for acting like this.
I will probably get back to normal sooner or later, but I've already been wasting precious days in this period of time in which I have much to do, especially university related.
And yes, I've been ******* my life continuously, been going on for years. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me.. and if the answer is nothing, why on earth I always get like this..
What am I writing this for? To be honest I have no idea.
I myself know how I should not think, however I can't fix it.
There's no external reason this time, I just hate myself again for being myself, basically.. and for pushing everyone away, voluntarily or not.
Despite what I say or do, I don't have any real problems, or at least, they are all caused by myself and myself only.
They say everybody's got ups and downs.. and that's true.. but I can't seem to be able to overcome my "downs" in a normal way.
I hate everything about myself.. some things I had managed to change, but overall nothing is changed. If anything I only blame myself over and over again for acting like this.
I will probably get back to normal sooner or later, but I've already been wasting precious days in this period of time in which I have much to do, especially university related.
And yes, I've been ******* my life continuously, been going on for years. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me.. and if the answer is nothing, why on earth I always get like this..
What am I writing this for? To be honest I have no idea.