Anyone here seen prostitutes/escorts

[TheSkaFish]

I'm not faulting you for saying that you don't think it's a good idea. Personally, I don't think it is either, but to each their own.

BUT, what I have an issue with is that you basically keep insisting that if you go to an escort, you will get a disease. This is not true. Aside from that, you can get a disease from anyone. Honestly, someone could get a disease from YOU (generalized you, not saying you have an STD here), unless you have been tested for everything. There are some STDs, such as HPV, that don't often show symptoms for men, but if a woman gets it, it could and likely does cause a lot of problems, such as cancer. This is what happened to my cousin.

Thank you for taking a less aggressive tone. I'm not so much saying that if you see a prostitute that you WILL get sick, I'm just saying, they are a higher-risk person. And it's the not-showing-symptoms thing that is exactly what I mean. I'm no doctor, but I thought I heard something about HIV in particular taking years to show up on tests, and that was one of the main problems - people didn't know they were sick, sometimes for years and years. And all the while they kept having sex with people, unknowingly spreading it. That's what I mean for these guys in the thread. If they think it is difficult to find someone now and if they think life is hard now, it will only be worse if they happen to get HIV. They will be even more avoided and the problem won't just be mental blocks they can unlearn, but a physical problem that for now still is without a cure. And the worst part would be, they might not have ever gotten it if they chose not to have sex with that one person, if only they chose a different solution to their problem.

To be honest, the idea of anyone having a disease is something that causes me some concern. I think, what if I meet someone great, but their sexual past is, shall we say, not quite virginal. Should I trust them and take a risk? Or not trust them, be wrong about their health status, and potentially throw someone who might otherwise have been a really good match away?

And I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. That's a serious issue I don't take lightly.

As for a dating coach, IMO, it's not really any different from therapy. Dating coaches can teach you how to ask and all that honeysuckle, but what mostly comes from that is gaining higher confidence and self esteem, which everyone has, they just have to figure out how to cut out the negative and tap into it.
So, personally, if you have confidence and self esteem problems, the better method would be to get help for that and observe people (not in a creepy way, of course) and see what happens in day to day life for people who aren't so shy and lacking self esteem.

That's what I'm saying. A dating coach could help these guys realize there was a confident, attractive, fun guy inside them all along, who totally could get dates. All the issues they described are all the same ones I've seen in my own self-help research. I think it would be a far better use of one's money and time, especially towards solving the problems the guys here talked about.

 

[Jafo]

I've been considering it as of late. It's been over 12 years since I've had sex or any kind of affection from a woman. Just don't know how I would feel about it after it;s done. I figure I can't feel worse than I do now, right?

 

[Triple Bogey]

I'm not faulting you for saying that you don't think it's a good idea. Personally, I don't think it is either, but to each their own.

BUT, what I have an issue with is that you basically keep insisting that if you go to an escort, you will get a disease. This is not true. Aside from that, you can get a disease from anyone. Honestly, someone could get a disease from YOU (generalized you, not saying you have an STD here), unless you have been tested for everything. There are some STDs, such as HPV, that don't often show symptoms for men, but if a woman gets it, it could and likely does cause a lot of problems, such as cancer. This is what happened to my cousin.

Thank you for taking a less aggressive tone. I'm not so much saying that if you see a prostitute that you WILL get sick, I'm just saying, they are a higher-risk person. And it's the not-showing-symptoms thing that is exactly what I mean. I'm no doctor, but I thought I heard something about HIV in particular taking years to show up on tests, and that was one of the main problems - people didn't know they were sick, sometimes for years and years. And all the while they kept having sex with people, unknowingly spreading it. That's what I mean for these guys in the thread. If they think it is difficult to find someone now and if they think life is hard now, it will only be worse if they happen to get HIV. They will be even more avoided and the problem won't just be mental blocks they can unlearn, but a physical problem that for now still is without a cure. And the worst part would be, they might not have ever gotten it if they chose not to have sex with that one person, if only they chose a different solution to their problem.

To be honest, the idea of anyone having a disease is something that causes me some concern. I think, what if I meet someone great, but their sexual past is, shall we say, not quite virginal. Should I trust them and take a risk? Or not trust them, be wrong about their health status, and potentially throw someone who might otherwise have been a really good match away?

And I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. That's a serious issue I don't take lightly.

As for a dating coach, IMO, it's not really any different from therapy. Dating coaches can teach you how to ask and all that honeysuckle, but what mostly comes from that is gaining higher confidence and self esteem, which everyone has, they just have to figure out how to cut out the negative and tap into it.
So, personally, if you have confidence and self esteem problems, the better method would be to get help for that and observe people (not in a creepy way, of course) and see what happens in day to day life for people who aren't so shy and lacking self esteem.

That's what I'm saying. A dating coach could help these guys realize there was a confident, attractive, fun guy inside them all along, who totally could get dates. All the issues they described are all the same ones I've seen in my own self-help research. I think it would be a far better use of one's money and time, especially towards solving the problems the guys here talked about.

I'm sorry you are either attractive or unattractive. You can't suddenly decide. Some dating coach tells me I'm attractive ? What crap ?
And I imagine they cost a fortune as well.

 

[Rosebolt]

I'm sorry you are either attractive or unattractive. You can't suddenly decide.

What?

 

[Triple Bogey]

I'm sorry you are either attractive or unattractive. You can't suddenly decide.

What?

If you pay some dating coach to tell you that you are attractive. Does it make you attractive ?

No, not necessary. Maybe some attractive person needs some confidence and a coach might help, but some people just look terrible and whatever somebody says, it won't make the slight bit of difference. It's what others see, not what you think !

If I truly believed I was a very attractive man. From say tomorrow, I woke up and thought I looked fantastic. Would it make any difference to how women see me ?

The answer is 'no' probably not.

Although I think everybody should try and look their 'best' which I always do.

 

[Rosebolt]

If you pay some dating coach to tell you that you are attractive. Does it make you attractive ?

No, not necessary. Maybe some attractive person needs some confidence and a coach might help, but some people just look terrible and whatever somebody says, it won't make the slight bit of difference. It's what others see, not what you think !

If I truly believed I was a very attractive man. From say tomorrow, I woke up and thought I looked fantastic. Would it make any difference to how women see me ?

The answer is 'no' probably not.

Although I think everybody should try and look their 'best' which I always do.

Your looks don't suddenly change overnight, you're right on that. I personally think that everyone can look attractive if they groom themselves well though.

Also, a change of attitude can do alot more than you might think, in both ways. While objectively, your looks might be the same (although they tend to change with ones attitude/state of mind), everything about you is different, and women (and men, obviously this goes for all humans) will notice that.

A dating coach may help you change perspective. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, and that includes yourself. I remember your picture just fine, Triple Bogey, and there ain't anything wrong with you. Not with your looks, at least, but your bitter attitude you often show will scare people off. And when people start that association of a person with a negative aspect, they tend to apply it to everything of that person, looks included.

 

[Triple Bogey]

If you pay some dating coach to tell you that you are attractive. Does it make you attractive ?

No, not necessary. Maybe some attractive person needs some confidence and a coach might help, but some people just look terrible and whatever somebody says, it won't make the slight bit of difference. It's what others see, not what you think !

If I truly believed I was a very attractive man. From say tomorrow, I woke up and thought I looked fantastic. Would it make any difference to how women see me ?

The answer is 'no' probably not.

Although I think everybody should try and look their 'best' which I always do.

Your looks don't suddenly change overnight, you're right on that. I personally think that everyone can look attractive if they groom themselves well though.

Also, a change of attitude can do alot more than you might think, in both ways. While objectively, your looks might be the same (although they tend to change with ones attitude/state of mind), everything about you is different, and women (and men, obviously this goes for all humans) will notice that.

A dating coach may help you change perspective. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, and that includes yourself. I remember your picture just fine, Triple Bogey, and there ain't anything wrong with you. Not with your looks, at least, but your bitter attitude you often show will scare people off. And when people start that association of a person with a negative aspect, they tend to apply it to everything of that person, looks included.

That photograph was 3 years old and in the dark. A freak, one off photo that looks half decent. There won't be another because I am not letting anybody take one !
I don't have a bitter attitude away from here.
I am more optimistic than anybody I know.
Somebody asked me last week if I wanted a girlfriend. I said 'no' -
I am too happy doing my own thing. So maybe that's the reason I am single. I prefer it that way.
Your advice otherwise is good.
Take Care

 

[Rosebolt]

That photograph was 3 years old and in the dark. A freak, one off photo that looks half decent. There won't be another because I am not letting anybody take one !
I don't have a bitter attitude away from here.
I am more optimistic than anybody I know.
Somebody asked me last week if I wanted a girlfriend. I said 'no' -
I am too happy doing my own thing. So maybe that's the reason I am single. I prefer it that way.
Your advice otherwise is good.
Take Care

I understand. Take care!

 

[Chun li]

My ex boyfriend was bad in bed. He was very selfish. I actually considered a jiggalo.

 

[Batman55]

My ex boyfriend was bad in bed. He was very selfish. I actually considered a jiggalo.

For real?

 

[ardour]

Your looks don't suddenly change overnight, you're right on that. I personally think that everyone can look attractive if they groom themselves well though.

Also, a change of attitude can do alot more than you might think, in both ways. While objectively, your looks might be the same (although they tend to change with ones attitude/state of mind), everything about you is different, and women (and men, obviously this goes for all humans) will notice that.

There's women I enjoy the company of but aren't attracted to, and vice versa, men who people seem to like but are still alone - I know 2 or 3 guys at work who are pleasant, positive, likeable, yet I'm reasonably sure that they've spent their lives single.

 

[Chun li]

My ex boyfriend was bad in bed. He was very selfish. I actually considered a jiggalo.

For real?

lol No. I was just being a smart ass.

 

[Skid Row 89]

I've heard from a reliable source that tinder works well if all you want to do is get laid. I don't think that's really what the OP is looking for though.

It works well if you're a good looking guy who knows how to take good photos... otherwise, it doesn't work so well.

I'll temper the "requirement" to be good looking by saying the photos themselves are of equal importance, at least... I think a confident guy, simply by default, is going to know how to look, the right posture, etc.. things easily skipped over by someone who is shy and awkward.

My friend would probably be considered an average looking guy (albeit confident) by most women but he swears by tinder as a great way to meet women. I'm convinced now it's all about confidence and that can be worked on.

 

[Niantiel]

No.
No.
And No.


No, it doesn't emulate a girlfriend physically. They have dead eyes, it's just business.
They'll do whatever you tell them to do within their negotiated limits and pricing.
And No, you don't want one. It's high risk sex. High risk for pregnancy, high risk for disease, and high risk for you getting murdered by whatever underground sets of people between pimps, other prostitutes who don't like her, and potentially a boyfriend who might not know etc. Not to mention if it's illegal in your country it could always be a cop in disguise and well, that'd be kind of embarrassing.

I'm from a town full of them.
I've known a few, unfortunately.
That's, not what you're looking for. Trust me.

Even with the higher class one's it's still risky business.

Personally?
Never been with one.
I don't want one.
I'm good.
Yes, the thought's crossed my mind before, but my logical judgment always wins out.

 

[Batman55]

No.
No.
And No.


No, it doesn't emulate a girlfriend physically. They have dead eyes, it's just business.
They'll do whatever you tell them to do within their negotiated limits and pricing.
And No, you don't want one. It's high risk sex. High risk for pregnancy, high risk for disease, and high risk for you getting murdered by whatever underground sets of people between pimps, other prostitutes who don't like her, and potentially a boyfriend who might not know etc. Not to mention if it's illegal in your country it could always be a cop in disguise and well, that'd be kind of embarrassing.

I'm from a town full of them.
I've known a few, unfortunately.
That's, not what you're looking for. Trust me.

Even with the higher class one's it's still risky business.

Personally?
Never been with one.
I don't want one.
I'm good.
Yes, the thought's crossed my mind before, but my logical judgment always wins out.

In that case, what would you tell the shy, anxious, socially awkward men who've never had a taste of intimacy?

I'm just curious. In your case it does seem as if you have been more fortunate than many guys, so I'm not sure you quite grasp the effects of being undesired for a lifetime, etc.

And IMHO "just go without it" is not a good answer, not in the literal sense, at least.

 

[ardour]

No.
No.
And No.


No, it doesn't emulate a girlfriend physically. They have dead eyes, it's just business.
They'll do whatever you tell them to do within their negotiated limits and pricing.
And No, you don't want one. It's high risk sex. High risk for pregnancy, high risk for disease, and high risk for you getting murdered by whatever underground sets of people between pimps, other prostitutes who don't like her, and potentially a boyfriend who might not know etc. Not to mention if it's illegal in your country it could always be a cop in disguise and well, that'd be kind of embarrassing.

I'm from a town full of them.
I've known a few, unfortunately.
That's, not what you're looking for. Trust me.

Even with the higher class one's it's still risky business.

Personally?
Never been with one.
I don't want one.
I'm good.
Yes, the thought's crossed my mind before, but my logical judgment always wins out.

In that case, what would you tell the shy, anxious, socially awkward men who've never had a taste of intimacy?

...

Just that. "That's not what you're looking for" was a good summation. .

 

[Triple Bogey]

No.
No.
And No.


No, it doesn't emulate a girlfriend physically. They have dead eyes, it's just business.
They'll do whatever you tell them to do within their negotiated limits and pricing.
And No, you don't want one. It's high risk sex. High risk for pregnancy, high risk for disease, and high risk for you getting murdered by whatever underground sets of people between pimps, other prostitutes who don't like her, and potentially a boyfriend who might not know etc. Not to mention if it's illegal in your country it could always be a cop in disguise and well, that'd be kind of embarrassing.

I'm from a town full of them.
I've known a few, unfortunately.
That's, not what you're looking for. Trust me.

Even with the higher class one's it's still risky business.

Personally?
Never been with one.
I don't want one.
I'm good.
Yes, the thought's crossed my mind before, but my logical judgment always wins out.

In that case, what would you tell the shy, anxious, socially awkward men who've never had a taste of intimacy?

I'm just curious. In your case it does seem as if you have been more fortunate than many guys, so I'm not sure you quite grasp the effects of being undesired for a lifetime, etc.

And IMHO "just go without it" is not a good answer, not in the literal sense, at least.

That's a good point.
So all of us ugly / shy guys who get forgotten about just have to go without for all our lives ?

I say 'NO' to that. It's very safe in my city. I say do it. Getting murdered ? I think he's been reading too many books.

 

[there is no hope]

No.
No.
And No.


No, it doesn't emulate a girlfriend physically. They have dead eyes, it's just business.
They'll do whatever you tell them to do within their negotiated limits and pricing.
And No, you don't want one. It's high risk sex. High risk for pregnancy, high risk for disease, and high risk for you getting murdered by whatever underground sets of people between pimps, other prostitutes who don't like her, and potentially a boyfriend who might not know etc. Not to mention if it's illegal in your country it could always be a cop in disguise and well, that'd be kind of embarrassing.

I'm from a town full of them.
I've known a few, unfortunately.
That's, not what you're looking for. Trust me.

Even with the higher class one's it's still risky business.

Personally?
Never been with one.
I don't want one.
I'm good.
Yes, the thought's crossed my mind before, but my logical judgment always wins out.

In that case, what would you tell the shy, anxious, socially awkward men who've never had a taste of intimacy?

I'm just curious. In your case it does seem as if you have been more fortunate than many guys, so I'm not sure you quite grasp the effects of being undesired for a lifetime, etc.

And IMHO "just go without it" is not a good answer, not in the literal sense, at least.

I've been almost utterly alone and have the cred to be a total sexual failure, and I get his point. I know of women involved in that trade, and it's as bad as he says if not worse.

 

[benj]

Yeah and even if you're being totally selfish it'll be a waste of money with a dead eyed person who feels nothing for you and will further damage your self esteem.

I know people who are virgins that have slept with prostitutes because they were so desperate and people who have had plenty of girlfriends, hit a dry spot and thought "why not?". All of them regretted the experience and some of them are definitely more callous than you.