For about a month now i've been chatting to a guy from work. A guy that normally i'd not give the time of day to as he is in a long-term relationship, 8yrs younger than me and most importantly, a work colleague. I strongly believe in not dating people with whom i work and for 5yrs i've managed to be successful in following this belief.
Of late, i have noticed that i really look forward to our chats, and believe he does too given he starts most of them. Ive also noticed that i seem to look for him whenever my heads not bogged down with work. I sometimes find when i look up that he's looking at me.
I've also started replaying our conversations in my head. looking for anything he's said that makes me think that perhaps he likes me. Perhaps he finds me as attractive as all the girls he tells me he would totally 'destroy' that we work with.
Over the last couple of days ive struggled to fight off my urges to think of us 'together' despite him not normally being the kind of guy id date and knowing he has a girlfriend. I dont think the matter has been helped with his telling me that last weekend he slept with someone. Although, i do half want to believe that this was a lie to see if he could make me jealous. The other half has me thinking that he obviously values my friendship to be comfortable enough to tell me something so personal and not because he's testing me.
I am just so confused. I really enjoy chatting to the guy as we have so much in common. I know that deep down i dont really have 'those' kind of feelings for him and want things to go no further than the friendship however i cannot stop constantly thinking of what we've discussed. i somehow feel that because im lonely, because its been so long since someone paid this kind of attention to me that im looking for more than what may really be there.
I keep reminding myself that a friend wouldnt tell me theyre curious about what i look like naked, they wouldnt make fun of the types of guys i like, they wouldnt ask me so many personal questions such as is my vagina tight and so on. But then i remind myself, and hope im right, that if he was interested in me then he wouldnt talk about how much he loves X's body, or Y's face and about the hotties he saw on the weekend or how much he loves his girlfriend. Even as i wrote those last few things i had thoughts of all the other things he's said that make me question his love for his girlfriend. urgh the conflicting thoughts and wanting there to be more to what he says are driving me insane.
I'm really torn. Does he honestly like me? Or have i obsessed about things so much that im the one making our chats into more than is really there? Does he see me as a challenge and is that all?
How do i stop trying to read more into what he says than is possibly there and go back to relishing in being in his friend?
Of late, i have noticed that i really look forward to our chats, and believe he does too given he starts most of them. Ive also noticed that i seem to look for him whenever my heads not bogged down with work. I sometimes find when i look up that he's looking at me.
I've also started replaying our conversations in my head. looking for anything he's said that makes me think that perhaps he likes me. Perhaps he finds me as attractive as all the girls he tells me he would totally 'destroy' that we work with.
Over the last couple of days ive struggled to fight off my urges to think of us 'together' despite him not normally being the kind of guy id date and knowing he has a girlfriend. I dont think the matter has been helped with his telling me that last weekend he slept with someone. Although, i do half want to believe that this was a lie to see if he could make me jealous. The other half has me thinking that he obviously values my friendship to be comfortable enough to tell me something so personal and not because he's testing me.
I am just so confused. I really enjoy chatting to the guy as we have so much in common. I know that deep down i dont really have 'those' kind of feelings for him and want things to go no further than the friendship however i cannot stop constantly thinking of what we've discussed. i somehow feel that because im lonely, because its been so long since someone paid this kind of attention to me that im looking for more than what may really be there.
I keep reminding myself that a friend wouldnt tell me theyre curious about what i look like naked, they wouldnt make fun of the types of guys i like, they wouldnt ask me so many personal questions such as is my vagina tight and so on. But then i remind myself, and hope im right, that if he was interested in me then he wouldnt talk about how much he loves X's body, or Y's face and about the hotties he saw on the weekend or how much he loves his girlfriend. Even as i wrote those last few things i had thoughts of all the other things he's said that make me question his love for his girlfriend. urgh the conflicting thoughts and wanting there to be more to what he says are driving me insane.
I'm really torn. Does he honestly like me? Or have i obsessed about things so much that im the one making our chats into more than is really there? Does he see me as a challenge and is that all?
How do i stop trying to read more into what he says than is possibly there and go back to relishing in being in his friend?